


The Dragon Princess: Beginning

by EmilyDragonette



Series: The Dragon Princess [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adventure, Dragons, Immortals, Magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:04:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 48,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9394796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyDragonette/pseuds/EmilyDragonette
Summary: “The Maker you people worship has done nothing for me.” I leaned forward. “In the eyes of my father I am an abomination. In the eyes of my friend, I am a fate worse than death. In the eyes of those who do not know me, I am a monster. You can’t fight a monster with hope alone.”Home is somewhere, anywhere really, where you fought beside people whether or not they shared your values, strengths, or goals. Those people you spilled blood alongside were not your family, yet if they too fell on the battlefield, you felt sorrow. If you had to plunge a dagger into the chest of a dying soldier, then you felt grief. If you found the body of a fallen comrade you hadn't known had gone down from an enemy blade, your soul would tear. Despite the despair, home was here among these people that lifted me up as a hero. If they truly knew what I was, would they honor me with a swift death like the dying, or a funeral like those who died in war? Would they respect me if they knew a truth I kept closer to my heart than any one person could keep a lover?It was a curious thing to understand, but maybe it made me mortal for trying.





	1. Help Wanted?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the start of Valentine's long winding road! Leave comments on what you would like to see in the series (since I always need filler) or things you think could be improved! I would very much appreciate any and all feedback.  
> P.S. This is the start of my Dragon Princess series.

This place would be the end of me. No, this world would be the end of me.  
I grunted as I finally regained consciousness. It was likely that, when or if my eyes finally opened, I would be in another prison. A small, breathless laugh escaped my lips. I could only imagine how my father would see me after all this. His little dragon, born and raised with a selfless compassion for the mortals, going out into their world only to be shoved away.  
Oh the arguments we would have. ‘Vale! You cant just go throw yourself at these mortals and expect them to let you help!’ I would fire back with my own ammunition, and then my poor friend Elizabeth would be left to clean up the mess. Coming to the Conclave to help the Divine with the peace talks wasn't really a great idea in the first place.  
I finally managed to pry my eyelids open, letting in the sad amount of light one would expect in a dungeon. The tiny room was bitterly cold, and the water that pooled around my folded legs wasn't helping me adjust. Even if I was mostly used to the chilly temperature by now, that didn't mean I couldn't feel it. Thick metal shackles hung heavily on my wrists, and my left palm had an awful itching pain, like someone had cut me right across the palm. Soldiers surrounded me at every corner of the room with their swords pointed, as if I would try to escape.  
As if I wanted to.  
“Dammit I’m not going anywhere.” I growled, fighting against my shackles. “Let me free.” As if in response to my anger, my left hand spat a vile green magic into the air. It itched and burned as the magic clawed deeper into my arm, rooting itself into my very being. The pain was horrendous.  
“The hell is this?” I shouted as a door slammed open. More light poured in as a woman entered. The sharp smell of metal filled my nose. She must have held some degree of power, since with a wave of her gloved hand, the soldiers sheathed their swords and stood at attention. I met her angry eyes with a burning ferocity of my own.  
“Tell me why we shouldn't kill you know.” The woman paced back and forth in front of me, her face mostly obscured by shadow. “The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you.” Well if she was accusing me of killing everyone, then the joke was on her because I didn’t. I wasn't like my father, who enjoyed toying with the mortals. I remained silent as the woman continued her tirade.  
She suddenly lurched forward and grabbed my shackled wrist, holding my green hand in my face. “Explain this.” She threw my hand roughly back to my side. I didn't give her the satisfaction of seeing my pain.  
“Believe it or not, lady, I can’t.” I said through clenched teeth.  
“What do you mean you can’t?” She growled in angry disbelief. That was it then, this woman was going to kill me.  
“I don’t know what that it, or how it got there.” I said steadily. The woman grabbed the collar of my shirt and hoisted me off the ground. “You’re lying!” She shouted in my face. Another woman came around and pulled the first off me. I fell back onto my legs, which were falling asleep. I could see a lavender hood and silvery chain-mail that caught what little light was in the cell.  
“We need her Cassandra.” The lavender-hooded woman said, her soft, lilting voice making her sound like a bard. I believed for a brief moment that she might have been.  
“So what happens now?” I inquired, my voice not without its usual amount of sarcasm.  
“Do you remember what happened? How this began?” The woman asked in her soft, yet commanding, voice.  
“I remember… running.” I trailed off as I recalled what small information I could. “Things were chasing me, but then there was a woman?”  
“A woman?” She echoed.  
I nodded. “She reached out to me, but then…” I shook my head. That was where it ended.  
“Go to the forward camp Leliana.” Cassandra stated, her voice softening slightly. “I will take her to the rift.” Leliana nodded and quickly walked out of the room. Cassandra turned to me.  
“If you’re going to kill me, at least let me bare my neck more than I already have for you people.” I said, giving her a bored look. She unlocked my shackles and tied a rope around my wrists in their place.  
“What did happen?” I asked curiously. Cassandra gave me a sad look.  
“It will be easier to show you.” She said. Cassandra led me out of the room and up a set of stairs into a Chantry. I didn't have time to look around before she roughly led me by the arm to the exit. Two soldiers opened the tall entry doors, leading out to a snowy mountain village. Snow banks were all around me, giving off the cold air that tickled my skin. Small plumes of smoke rose from wooden houses, and villagers were standing around in huddles. Mortals did odd things for interaction.  
A loud clash thundered across the sky, bringing my attention to a massive, sickly green hole. It swirled in the clouds and lifted up rocks from the earth, bringing them high into the sky. Green lightning struck the earth beneath the spiral, causing shockwaves to run through the land.  
“We call it the Breach.” Cassandra informed. I turned toward my captor, finding that her light brown eyes stared at the monstrous magical fiend with a sort of hopelessness. She had been so angry mere moments ago, and now she was sad and losing hope.  
For just a moment, I allowed myself to take a look at my captor. Mahogany hair was braided around her head in her own version of a crown, and a scar cut through the skin over her cheek. Her eyes stared up at the sky, green reflecting in her softened gaze. Just moments ago, those eyes would have thrown daggers.  
How did the mortals switch attitudes so quickly?  
“It is a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour.” Cassandra elaborated. She looked over at me. “It is not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave.” I raised my eyebrows as I cast my eyes back up at the magic.  
“An explosion can do that?” I asked, my voice on edge.  
“This one did.” Cassandra said, walking toward me. “Unless we act, the Breach may grow until it swallows that world.” Pain shot through my arm, forcing me to my knees. I clenched my jaw as the pain traveled through my arm. Why did I have to do this? Wasn't my little bit of help enough?  
“Fine.” I grunted as the pain subsided. “Whatever gets me through the next few days.” Cassandra paused a moment before taking my answer as agreement and leading me toward a gate. Along the way she told me of the Divine and how she was bringing the mages and templars together for a peace meeting. I already knew what she said, so I stayed silent and just let her speak.  
“Until the Breach is sealed.” Cassandra said as she unbound my ropes. I rolled my shoulders and popped my knuckles as she led me across a bridge. “There will be a trial. I can promise no more.”  
“Where are you taking me?” I asked. My wrists were red and a little raw from the rope.  
“Your mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach.” Cassandra said as she began to jog. I followed after, letting the bitter winter air fill my lungs. I followed her down a path and past a small group of soldiers. They cried out for their Maker as they ran from the battle back to the village. The poor mortals.  
A gasp escaped my lips as the mark flared to life in my palm once more. It threw me to the ground with its pain, leaving me feeling utterly defenseless. Cassandra grabbed my good arm and helped me off the ground. “The pulses are coming faster now.”  
I wiggled my fingers, checking to make sure they still worked. “How did I even survive?”  
“They said you stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious.” Cassandra explained as we continued down the path toward a bridge. “They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was.” Her voice was suddenly cut off by a change in the pressure. We skidded to a stop over the bridge as magical energy tingled through my limbs and pushed static into my hair. A large ball of sickly green magic hurled through the sky right at us. A single syllable barely made its way through my lips before it collided with the bridge, and sent Cassandra and I flying.  
I groaned as I sat up and took in the scene around me. Cassandra was already up on swaying feet with a cut on the side of her head, where she must have been struck by a rock. Rubble surrounded behind us, displaying the only remains of the stone bridge. A few smashed crated rested behind me, and I caught the faint glimpse of a blade resting next to one. Funny, how it looked like someone had placed it there.  
“Stay behind me!” Cassandra commanded as she charged forward. An enemy? I pushed myself off the ground and to my feet, regretting the decision as the ground in front of me exploded with the same sick light. I leaned over and peered around Cassandra, trying to see what enemy she fought. From what I could see, it looked like a mass of bubbling, sliding tar that appeared as flesh. It’s shoulders were up next to its small, screwed in face, making its arms unnaturally long. Little red slits in its skull were meant to resemble eyes.  
I moved back and cast a glance at the sword. Maybe that dull blade could save me? I grabbed the sword and held it up just as a claw reached out of the green toward me. I stared in horror as a monster, similar to the one Cassandra faced, rose out of the magic. It was something akin to a horror novel.  
The monster brought down a claw, aiming to slash at me. I pulled the blade up and blocked his blow, knocking him back. I moved forward, slashing him with my own blows until the thing fell to the ground in a heap of tar. A sharp metallic smell filled my nose, causing me to gag. What was this thing?  
“What are these monsters?” I asked, chiding myself at the use of that term. Monster was relative, which meant that to some, I would be a monster.  
“Drop your weapon! Now!” Cassandra commanded, raising her sword and shield like she expected a fight. I sighed angrily. She had completely ignored my question.  
“Listen lady, I asked you a simple question that required a simple answer.” I said, ignoring her command. Her eyes burned with a fury before she finally relented. “I cannot protect you, and I should remember that you agreed to come in the first place.” What about my damn question? Huh?  
“My question, Cassandra.” I said impatiently.  
“They are demons.” She finally answered as she handed me a few bottles of a reddish liquid. Health potions. I pushed on back into her own hand, forcing her to take it. She seemed like she wanted to argue, but gave up upon seeing I wouldn't be one to give in so easily.  
I knew little of demons, save that they didn't have minds and mercilessly attacked anyone and anything that were unlucky enough to get in its path. I was eager to ask further, but Cassandra began to jog down the path again. I followed without hesitation, wondering why I did so. I guess that I felt like I owed her something? I owed nothing to these people whatsoever, and yet I still felt compelled to help them.  
Demons came and fell to our blades like clockwork. I stopped counting after a while how many I had sent back to the hell they came from. I began traveling up a steep staircase before I finally realized what felt so wrong about this place.  
“Where are your soldiers?” I inquired.  
“At the forward camp, or fighting. We are on our own for now.” Cassandra said, eyeing me careful. It was obvious she didn't trust me. I mean, she had no reason to other than the many opportunities I had to take her life.  
We reached the top of the stairs and found a large green glow that mimicked the one in the sky—which must have been a rift. It was surrounded on four sides by the ruined walls of a fort, and amidst this stood two men. One was a dwarf, who launched arrows at a rapid pace, and the other was a tall elf who casted spell after spell to stop the flow of demons.  
I jumped in almost immediately, putting myself in-between a demon and the dwarf. The demon snarled, but it’s voice was cut off by a quick gurgle. I pulled my blade from its body, releasing the metallic smelling blood out onto the snow. The white was now stained reddish-black. Purity destroyed.  
A hand grabbed mine, sending a spark flying under my skin and up through my limb. The mark flared to life and a green beam shot out of my palm, making the skin itch and swell. I stared in awe as the rift exploded, and my hand was released. I rubbed as the itch went away, and stared over at the one who had grabbed my hand—the elf. At the moment, there was only one thing I could say.  
“What the hell just happened?”  
A loud baritone laugh rang through the air next to the elf. He seemed to be all I could see at the moment, but I had no reason as to why. The elf was dressed in simple traveler’s clothing, and a small animal bone was strung around his neck. It hung low over his chest. His eyes mimicked a stormy sea with its blue and grey combination, but there was a curious glint hidden back there somewhere. A staff was slung across his back.  
“Whatever magic opened the Breach also placed that mark upon your hand.” He stated, as if it were just that obvious. His low voice was pleasing to my ears. “I theorized that the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake, and it seems I was correct.” I hoped he wasn't a know-it-all. I couldn't stand the mortals that thought they knew everything. Perhaps he was just knowledgeable about this sort of thing? If he was just that, then I had come across a stroke of luck.  
“Meaning it could also close the Breach itself.” Cassandra cut in as she cast a glance at the mark.  
“Possibly.” The elf shrugged his shoulders.  
“Good to know!” The baritone voice from before exclaimed sarcastically. “Here I thought we’d be standing ass-deep in demons forever.” He was a dwarf that only just came up to my chest. Dirty blonde hair poked out of a hastily fixed, stunted ponytail that managed well enough to keep the hair out of his face. His tunic was low cut, displaying a small bit of unruly chest hair, and he had a very intimidating crossbow slung cross his back. He bowed. “Varric Tethras. Rouge, storyteller, and occasionally an unwelcome tagalong.” Cassandra scowled at the dwarf. I put a hand over my mouth to quell my laughter before a question crossed my mind.  
“Are you with the Chantry, or…” I trailed off, unsure of my question. Most of the people here seemed as if they were from that place, or at least they seemed to.  
“Technically I’m a prisoner, just like you.” Varric said as he fiddled with his glove.  
“I brought you here to tell your story to the Divine. Clearly that is no longer necessary.” Cassandra said, more than a little annoyed.  
“Yet here I am. Lucky for you, considering current events.” Varric said, gesturing to the surrounding area.  
“It is a pleasure to meet you Varric.” I said, nodding my head at the dwarf. Varric smiled at me, which was the first smile I had seen since coming here.  
“You may reconsider that stance, in time.” The elf joked lightly. Here he was, making a little fun in a dark situation.  
“Aww I’m sure we’ll become great friends in the valley, Chuckles.” Varric said to the elf.  
“Absolutely not!” Cassandra interrupted, displeasure dripping from her words. “Your help is appreciated Varric, but—.”  
“Have you been in the valley lately Seeker?” Varric interrupted back, turing the exchange into an argument. “Your soldiers aren't in control anymore. You need me.” He gave her a winning smile, which made her groan, scowl, and and turn away in near perfect sync.  
“Well he is the first person here who had given me a genuine smile.” I said thoughtfully. “I think I’ll keep him.”  
“You don't have a choice.” Cassandra said. “You’re still a prisoner.”  
“Prisoner?” I asked, putting a hand over my heart and shaking my head. This act was meant to be over the top. “How could you? All I wanted was to help you people, and this is the thanks I get?”  
“Tell me about it.” Varric grumbled. “What’s your name prisoner?”  
“Valentine.” I answered, beaming slightly now that someone had actually tried to be nice. “My friends call me Vale. Or they would, if I had any friends.” I admitted, trying to look down at the ground with a straight face, it failed, making Varric chuckle.  
“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions.” The elf said, bringing himself into the conversation. “I am pleased to see you still live.”  
“He means ‘I kept that mark from killing you while you slept’.” Varric joked. I turned to look at the elf, finding that a light blush was creeping onto my cheeks.  
“You seem to know a great deal about it all.” I said, raising an eyebrow. Approval flashed across his face, and he smirked.  
“Solas is an apostate, well versed in such manners.” Cassandra answered for him. Solas seemed a little annoyed.  
“Technically all mages are now apostates.” Solas stated, nodding toward me. “Your prisoner here, for instance, is an apostate.”  
Well damn.  
Cassandra stared at me, obviously flabbergasted. “I do not sense any magic on her other than the mark. You must be mistaken!”  
“He’s not actually.” I said. “You never asked if I had magic.”  
“Normally I wouldn't need to.” Cassandra gave a look like she wanted to clap me back in irons. “Why can’t I sense it?”  
“Jee I don't know…” I said, letting my thought trail off. “Maybe because I don't want you to.”  
“That isn't something you can just hide.” Solas said. “Why don't you wield a staff?”  
“I don't want one.” I answered point-blank. Varric let out a laugh, which he quickly snuffed with his hands. “Imagine, for the rest of this endeavor, that I am not a mage.”  
“You do not expect us to simply—.”  
“I do.” I interrupted Cassandra. “We were doing just fine when you didn't know, right? Made such good progress.”  
I turned to Solas. “How do you know so much?”  
“My travels have allowed me to go deep into the Fade, far beyond the experience of any circle mage. I came to offer what help I can to close the Breach.” Solas explained, watching my animated expression change with every word he spoke. “If if is not closed, we are all doomed regardless of origin.”  
“And when this is over?” I prodded further.  
“One hopes that those in power will remember who helped, and who did not.” Solas turned to Cassandra and continued. “You should know that the magic involved here is unlike any I’ve seen. Your prisoner is a mage, but I find it difficult to imagine any mage having such power.”  
I rolled my eyes. “You’re kidding right?” I asked in disbelief. “I told you that, until this is over, you should ignore my magic.”  
“Understood.” Cassandra said, completely ignoring me. I steamed quietly as she continued. “We must get to the forward camp quickly.”  
Varric stopped beside me as we watched the other two lead the way down a new path. “Well…” He shrugged. “Bianca’s excited.” Bianca? I followed after the others, letting them lead the way across a snow bank, and then down across a river. The path was relatively clear as we ascended another mountain.  
“So, are you innocent?” Varric asked toward me.  
“I don't remember what happened.” I admitted, reciting the same lines that I had used far too many times in one day. This entire situation was a like a bad, repetitive dream. The thing with these dreams, though, was that you couldn't wake up until something equally as bad snapped you out of it.  
“Ahh that’ll get you every time.” Varric said. “Should have spun a story.”  
“That’s what you would have done.” Cassandra said. I could almost hear the eye-roll in her voice.  
“It’s more believable, and less prone to result in premature execution.” Varric joked lightly as we finally made it to the top of our small mountainous hill.  
“It’s not the first time I’ve been imprisoned for helping you people.” I said, mostly to myself. “Won’t be the last, either.”  
“Wait, what?” Cassandra asked.  
I glared at her, stopping completely in my tracks. “I am made to be selfless, like certain few in my kind. I came here to help and all I’ve gotten is cell after cell for doing the right thing!” My voice was almost to a shout as I finished. I turned away from them and stared at my path ahead. “This is the last straw. Once it’s over, I’m going home.”  
I moved forward, leaving the others to follow my tracks as I hurried up the hill. This was indeed the last straw. These people did not deserve my help, not when I had given everything only to have it turned back and thrown at me. Ungrateful savages, these mortals. That was all they were.  
Mortals.  
Maybe father was right after all.


	2. In Vain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine faces the Breach and finds her journey will not end as fast as she thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like it! I enjoy commentary!

”They keep coming! Help us!”  
I responded to the soldier’s cry with my sword slicing clean through one of the demons. Cassandra and Solas took down the other with a combined effort, leaving the rift to pop and crackle like a fire. I raised my hand, focusing my efforts on the rift. It swelled, and then collapsed in as it popped out of existence. I looked down at my hand and shook my head.  
“Whatever that thing is one your hand, it’s useful.” Varric admitted. His words were the first that had been spoken since my outburst. I let Cassandra take the lead through the gates, and into the forward camp.   
Soldiers were everywhere running errands, leaning against the walls and waiting to be deployed, and some were sitting around crates, simply staring at the Breach. Did they believe that staring at a problem would make it go away? Wounded men and woman—not just soldiers—lay out on cots, bound horribly with old and torn blankets. They shivered in the merciless cold. If their injuries didn't kill them, frostbite surely would. My throat tightened as a little girl lay over a near still body of a woman, who must have been her mother. The poor family looked like they had gotten caught out in the mountains when the mess started.  
I separated from my group and knelt next to the woman, who now had a small line of blood trickling out of her mouth. Ragged, shallow breaths escaped her lips as her chest rose and fell. I gently pulled the little girl off of her dying mother, and laid my head on her chest. My mother had been an exception healer, while my father had been more in favor of fire. Thankfully, both magics were strong within me.  
No wonder the healer had left her for dead. The ragged breaths were from a punctured lung. I placed my right palm at the base of the woman’s throat, and moved my other from her belly button to meet my right. Golden magic spilled out of both palms—the left hand was tinted green—and went into the woman’s body.  
“What are you doing?” A woman—who must have been the healer—shouted, a hand landing on my shoulder as if to pull me away. I ignored the hand completely as I pushed my magic into my patient’s body. Someone pulled her away, leaving me to my work.   
I pushed both palms into the woman’s chest, and left them there. For a long moment, the woman did not breath. The area around was completely silent as no one dared take a breath, for fear of stealing it from the injured woman.   
Suddenly, she took a pure, unhindered breath into her repaired lungs.  
Cheers erupted from behind me as I rose to my feet. Her daughter went back to hugging her mother, tears streaming down her face. I turned around to face Cassandra and gave her a genuine smile.  
“I came here to help” I said. “That is my sole purpose.”  
“You healed that woman.” Solas said in surprise. I looked over at the elf.   
“I am a healer.” I said, pointing at my opposite hand. “As you yourself so blatantly pointed out, I have magic.”  
“That healer said she couldn't be healed.” Cassandra said.  
I shook my head. “Everyone can be healed. Whether through prayer, time, magic, or herbal remedies, a cure can be found just about anywhere.”  
“You can’t heal someone who’s dying of old age.” Solas said.  
I smirked. “Obviously, Solas. Death is their cure.” He raised an eyebrow as I explained. “Suffering increases, so sometimes death is the only option. It isn't pretty, but it is much nicer than pain.” Sometimes death was the only option.  
“You’re here!” Leliana’s voice rang out. Cassandra led the rest of us toward a desk, where Leliana stood alongside a Chantry man. Now that she was in the light, I could make out a few stray strands of bright red hair. They peeked out from beneath her hood, wanting to be seen. She was dressed from head to toe in a silvery chain-mail. “Chancellor Roderick, this is—.”  
“I know who she is.” The man interrupted. He sneered. “As Grand Chancellor or the Chantry, I hereby order you to take this criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution.”  
“After I just saved a woman’s life for no reason at all.” I whispered sarcastically. “What a perfect example of what I’ve faced here.”  
“Order me?” Cassandra asked, stepping in front of me. “You are a glorified clerk! A bureaucrat!” I couldn't help but feel a little touched at her actions. It felt a little like she was defending me.  
“And you are a thug, but a thug who supposedly serves the Chantry.” Roderick spat.  
“We serve the Most Holy, Chancellor.” Leliana cast a glance at Cassandra. “As you well know.”  
“Justinia is dead!” Roderick said loudly, his words making Cassandra flinch lightly. It seemed this situation affected her far more than she let on. “We must elect a replacement, and obey her orders on this matter.”  
“You can’t make a decision without your higher ups, can you?” I asked, the question completely rhetorical. “What about the Breach? Isn't that a more pressing issue than who wears the fancy hat?”  
“You brought this on us in the first place!” Roderick practically screamed. He looked down at his hands and suddenly looked very small and hopeless. “Call a retreat Seeker.” He pleaded. “Our position here is hopeless.”  
“We can stop this before it’s too late.” Cassandra stated.  
“How?” He asked. “You won’t survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all of your soldiers.”  
“We must get to the temple, its the quickest route!” Cassandra reasoned.  
“But not the safest. Our forces can charge a distraction while we go through the mountains.” Leliana suggested.  
“We lost contact with an entire squad on that path.” Cassandra argued. “It’s too risky.”  
“Listen to me.” Roderick pleaded. “Abandon this now, before more lives are lost.” The Breach let out another thunderous crack—with the added bonus of several lightning bolts—as my hand lit up. I stared at the painful mark with disgust as it went away and the magic burrowed deeper into my arm. It felt stiff and clunky now.  
“How do you think we should proceed?” Cassandra inquired toward me.  
“You’re asking for my opinion?” I asked in disbelief. “No one’s ever done that before.”  
“You have the mark.” Solas pointed out.  
“And you are the one we must keep alive.” Cassandra said, her words finalizing the situation. “Since we cannot agree amongst ourselves..”   
“The mountain path.” I said quietly as I gazed up at the mountain. “Hopefully we can rescue those scouts and get there without trouble.” Cassandra obviously disapproved, but gestured for the others and I to follow.   
“Leliana bring everyone left in the valley.” Cassandra said, her voice somewhere between asking and ordering.  
“On your head be the consequences, Seeker.” Roderick sneered. A weight settled on Cassandra’s shoulders as she led us up the mountain path.   
“Obviously someone spit in his oatmeal this morning.” I joked, eliciting a light chuckle from Varric. “Or was that just his face?”  
Cassandra laughed, despite trying not to. “That is just his face.” Humor was an excellent way of lightening weights or improving moods, even in a situation such as this.  
“What do you know, the warrior lady does have some humor in her after all.” I said softly. “Don’t let yourself be weighed down by the troubles of everything that goes wrong. No mortal man or woman could bear it.”  
“You are wise.” Cassandra commented. “You don't look as old as you sound.”  
“It’s rude to ask a lady her age, Cassandra.” I said, giving myself a mock-annoyed look. It was bad, and it fell apart as quickly as I made it. “After all, I am only twenty five!” That was a lie on my part. I was actually almost as old as the Tevinter Imperium, but telling them that would only cause problems. We continued wordlessly up the mountain until we reached an old mining tunnel. A tall, rickety ladder was the only way up from here.  
“Will it hold?” I asked aloud as I placed my foot on the bottom rung. It groaned, sending a chill up my spine. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea.  
“Who knows?” Varric joked. “Might break when you’re halfway up.” I swallowed the lump of fear in my throat and clasped my hands around a rung. I couldn't show weakness, not in front of mortals. It was ridiculous, after all.   
A dragon, one of the first of her kind to be selfless, was afraid of heights.   
I climbed up the ladder one rung at a time, almost at a snail’s pace, until I finally reached the top. I waited there as the rest of them climbed the ladders.  
We quickly ran through the mine to make up for lost time, only finding two demons standing between us and a way out. They were taken care of quickly and un-notably, and we were soon out of the dark passages. Three dead bodies littered the entrance of the mine, with the blood still steaming in the snow. They had died recently.  
“Guess we found the scouts.” Varric sighed.  
“That cannot be all of them.” Cassandra denied.   
“Whatever killed them will be nearby.” I stated. “Be ready for anything.” I glanced back at the group and found they all already had their weapons out. They had done this sort of thing before.  
“Our priority must be the Breach. If it is not stopped, no one is safe.” Solas said, though his voice betrayed his words.  
“I’m leaving that to the Joker here.” Varric said.  
“Joker?” I asked.  
“You want so bad to be funny, well now you have a funny nickname.” Varric chuckled. I felt oddly touched as we flew into another battle, this one with a rift. Two very tall demons leapt out of the ground in front of me, cutting off my route to the rift.   
“Lady Cassandra!” Someone called out. I could see a small group of soldiers huddling over by the stone. Most of them held limbs like they were injured, but a few jumped out of the group and made their way to the fight.  
“Lieutenant! You’re alive!” Cassandra shouted in relief.  
“Just barely.”The same soldier said, holding her arm with a pained look. The demons began closing on me, separating me from any help. I blocked a strike from one, but the other landed a solid hit on my side, throwing me back into snow. I thought it was snow, but it ended up being a stone wall that was covered in the deceiving white powder. Blood dripped down my side and my head pounded.  
“This was my favorite shirt!” I shouted at the demon, throwing my blade and landing it right in the monster’s chest. It fell to a heap of limbs, leaving the other one alone. It approached me, causing me to back into the wall. A soft film covered over my skin and clothes, wrapping me in what I could only describe as a bubble. Fire erupted from the ground and consumed the creature, melting into a puddle of burnt flesh.   
I held my hand up and letting the now-familiar pain take hold of my hand. The rift closed quickly, leaving the area feeling just a bit safer. I pressed my magic into my side, sighing as the pain instantly vanished along with the flowing blood.  
“Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this.” Solas said, nodding his head in approval. He had watched me heal myself, but hadn't said anything.  
“Thank our prisoner, Lieutenant.” Cassandra said. “She insisted we come this way.”  
“The prisoner?” The lieutenant looked at me. “Then you…”  
“I was worth saving you, if we could.” I said, giving her a friendly smile. “Can’t leave anyone behind, now can we?  
“The path behind us is clear of demons.” Cassandra said, shooing at the soldier and urging them to hurry. “Go while you still can.”  
“Right then. Quickly, let’s move.” The Lieutenant commanded. They ran back into the mining tunnel, leaving us alone on our journey once more. She still referred to me as a prisoner, which was beyond irritating. We continued forward through the snow banks silently before stepping down into the ashes of the temple, where everything had transpired. The very atmosphere changed as we walked around the ruined walls, looking for a place to enter.  
“That is where you walked out of the fade.” Cassandra said, fighting to keep her voice even. “They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was.” I walked into the ruins and wrinkled my nose as I moved past the corpses. They were frozen in position and nothing more than charred skeletal remains that bore the looks of fear they took on moments before death. It smelled and felt like being back home when father had a good day.  
It was sickening.  
I pushed through the corpses into the main chamber, which was nothing more than levels of ash and rubble. Large red stones poked out of the ash, rising into the air. They gave off a disturbing whispery voice, almost like they were cursed. A massive rift spun and twirled in the middle of it all, letting its been tendrils of magic slip up into the Breach.  
“You’re here!” Leliana said, relieved. She walked into the ruins and stood next to Cassandra.  
“Leliana, have your men take up positions around the temple.” Cassandra said. The men scattered off toward their positions as Cassandra turned to me.  
“Are you ready?” She asked.  
“Ready to go home.” I answered blankly as I moved toward the rift. I dropped down next to the rift, which spluttered and spat magic in all directions.   
“Now is the hour of our victory.” A booming voice said, a slight lisp on his letters. It was disembodied, and seemed to come from all directions.  
“Someone please, help me!” Cried a soft-spoken female voice.   
“What’s going on here?” My voice rang out, more a growl than a voice.  
“We have an intruder.” The chilling voice from before said. “Slay the monster.”  
I huffed and rolled my eyes. “That was rude and uncalled for.” In truth, I didn't care what he called me. I was more concerned with my voice being there, and me not remembering saying any of it. The rift let out an explosion, knocking me and the others back onto the ground. A demon roared as it stepped out the rift.   
The giant lavender-colored demon roared, lightning spilling from its teeth and clinging to his hands. The giant rippling muscles stretched the thin skin as his electricity hummed. It laughed, an evil and spine-tingling sound.   
Cassandra charged the creature while I ran to flank it. I slashed at the demon’s legs, barely even drawing blood. Varric’s arrows bounced off his skin, and Solas’ magic was simply brushed off. Nothing we did was working.  
“The rift!” Solas shouted. “Use that to weaken it!” I nodded, and darted toward the rift. I raised my hand toward the green magic, forcing the demon down to its knees. It stood shakily, becoming more and more angry. My hand and body stayed put, and wouldn't move even as the demon charged toward me.  
“Valentine! Move!” Solas’ voice shouted. I couldn’t. My body refused to move, as if this rift had me frozen solid. I braced myself as the demon brought a massive, lightning covered, fist down. Pain sang through every part of my body as it knocked me back and into a wall. I coughed, blood splattering out on the stone in front of me. The wall behind me had a deep imprint of my body on it. The demon payed nobody else any mind as it charged at me once more.  
These demons seemed to really like me.  
My fire burned hot in my lungs as I rose to my shaky feet. I took a deep breath, watching as the air I took in began to heat. It looked like the air you’d see atop metal on a hot summer day. The last bit of air entered my lungs, and I forced it out, giving it flames. Hot red and white flames spilled from my lips and swallowed the demon whole. It let out a piercing shriek as it turned into a pile of ashes.  
I ignored the looks from my companions as I stumbled over to the rift, out of breath and losing consciousness. My hand raised on its own accord and began to fight with the rift. Another wave of pain lurched into my body as the rift fought back. It was like swimming through magical energy to even get close to the thing. The mark popped loudly in sync with the rift, and it exploded. I fell to the ground, staring up as the Breach pulsed and slowed, but did not close.  
My death would be in vain then.


	3. Making Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine gets to chat with Solas and Varric about heroes, and wonders if she has what it takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you enjoyed!

I awoke with an awful pain all throughout my head and inside my lungs. My entire body was sore beyond belief.  
I could breathe fire, but that didn't mean I liked doing it. It usually left me extremely winded and my lungs would burn mercilessly for hours afterward. I lifted my head gently off of a soft pillow and looked around.  
I was in a small, one-roomed cabin. There was a desk in the corner with a small stack of papers, a tall bookshelf that almost reached the ceiling, and the small wooden bed that I lay in. This wooden shack was a big improvement from a cell, but wasn’t I still their prisoner? I sat up slowly and pressed a hand to my forehead. The headache subsided, as well as most of the soreness, but I still felt awful. Soft cotton rubbed against my skin, which was different from what I usually wore. The beige shirt and breeches were too big for my small, skinny body.  
A woman’s voice gasped. I looked up, finding a young elven woman who was trying to pick up a crate she had dropped. Her eyes were wide with terror, as if she was afraid of me.   
“Where am I?” I asked gently. She fell to her knees, making me uncomfortable. I didn't like that she bowed her head to me, as if she was asking for my forgiveness.  
“My lady, you are back in Haven.” She said nervously, keeping her eyes toward the floor. My lady? What had happened?  
“Is the Breach gone?” I prodded.  
“The Breach is still in the sky…” My mouth went dry and I held my breath. “But the danger is passed. Lady Cassandra—.”  
“Forgive me for interrupting, but where is Cassandra?” I asked. She scrambled to her feet, eyes wide.  
“In the Chantry, with the Lord Chancellor. Come at once, she said.” The girl sped out of my small cabin, shutting the door behind her as she left. I slowly rose to my feet and opened the crate. Why else would she have brought it in here, if it weren't for me?  
Inside was a small tunic and a pair of warm pants, and a mirror that was tucked away underneath. I slipped both on the clothes, savoring the feeling of warm wool against my skin. I hesitated to pick up the mirror, knowing what I would see when I gazed upon that smooth, reflective surface.  
A girl, about in her twenties, with no scars, marks, or blemishes on her smooth, porcelain face. Soft, straight brown hair that poured down onto my shoulders would be pulled out of her face and tucked behind her ears. Grayish eyes would stare back at her soft features and small nose with curiosity and intelligence. Her high cheekbones would make her smiles wider, and the tiny little points on her ears, hidden beneath her mass of chocolate locks, would describe a rich elven heritage, would she have chosen to accept it.  
That was the body I was forced to bear. It wasn't the face of a golden dragon with brilliant green eyes and shimmering scales. It wasn't me.   
I hated looking at myself in the mirror.  
She wasn't me.  
I was stuck in this mortal form because of a deal my father and I had struck with a blood mage. My eyes would forever be haunted by what I had to do, what I watched him do, and what I had done to this poor elven girl. I had killed her, and taken her form.  
What had it been for? I wanted to appear less menacing so I could help the mortals, but instead I was selfish and killed a girl so I could become her.   
In reality, I was no different from my father.  
That was why I had to help these people. That would appease her spirit, or I hoped it would.  
I marched out into the snow, pushing the dark thoughts to the back of my mind. I walked though the small cabins that littered the snowy bank, forcing my eyes to the ground. I was supposed to go home now.  
Soldiers stood all along my path to the Chantry with their fists over their chests. That, as I had learned, was a sign of respect among mortals. Respect was something I had never earned from anyone.  
I walked into the Chantry and began listening to the shouting. It was mostly muffled from the stone walls. Tall tapestries lined the sides along with the shrines and statues of Andraste, their prophet. I walked past all of it and opened the door, my annoyed face stopping the argument in its tracks.  
“Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial.” Roderick shouted loudly at the guards posted in the room. He pointed at me as if I needed to be pointed out.  
“Disregard that, and leave us.” Cassandra said, waving the guards away. They left the room wordlessly. I leaned against the stone and blocked out their argument, not caring which way it went. All I wanted was to go back home.  
I barely listened to the conversation between Leliana and Cassandra. They spoke of a ‘holy war’ and, among other things, an Inquisition. I threw my hands up in the air. “Whatever it is your starting, I’m in until the Breach is closed.” Cassandra and Leliana looked up at me just long enough to see me wave goodbye and walk out of the room.  
I found myself wandering down the pathways that led all over the village from the Chantry. These paths were worn from constant use, yet not a single soul walked them.   
“The Herald of Andraste.” Solas’ voice said, bringing me from my thoughts. I glanced up, finding myself between three houses, with one obviously being his. He was standing out front. “The Blessed hero sent to save us all.” His words were mirthful, yet there was a hint of truth to them. The ‘Herald of Andraste’ was something that had recently been given as a title. I was the unlucky bearer.  
“Sounds dashing!” I joked. “Am I riding in on a shining steed?”  
Solas laughed, which brought a wide my smile to my face. “I would have suggested a griffon, but sadly they’re extinct. Joke as you will, posturing is necessary.” Solas walked toward a small stone wall that sat up on its own snow bank. A brown path led down, to what I believed was a tavern, and to the main path of Haven. His gaze wandered out over the village. “I’ve journeyed deep into the fade and to ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I’ve watched as hosts of spirits clash to reenact a bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. Every great war has its heroes, I’m just curious what kind you’ll be.”  
I snorted loudly. Hero? What dragon was ever a hero? In all the stories, a dragon was an evil entity that the so-called hero had to fight to rescue the princess, save the kingdom, or to get the evil dragon’s treasure. Dragons weren't heroes.  
Here though, I wasn't a dragon.  
“Hopefully the kind that isn't a hero.” I answered truthfully. “All this hero business is not my cup of tea. I can’t be a hero.”  
“Perhaps the rest of your ‘kind’ feels the same way you do?” Solas inquired. I stiffened, leaving my eyes on the ground. Did I let something slip?  
“Yeah, elves.” I answered quickly, regretting my words immediately.   
“Elves can’t be heroes?” Solas asked with a slight touch of anger.  
I groaned. This was going awful. “That wasn't what I meant!”  
“Then what did you mean?” Solas asked angrily.  
“I meant that I can’t be a hero!” I shouted, finding that I had moved toward the elf and now stood an arm’s distance away. His eyes were a raging sea behind his calm mask. “I am meant to help people. No big ‘hero’ title needed.”   
“Like it or not, you are a hero to these people.” Solas said evenly. “You should accept it.”  
“You damn people accept everything without conscious!” I argued. “I will not accept something just because it is given to me! I refuse!”  
“You’re a part of these ‘damn’ people whether you like it or not.” Solas said through clenched teeth. “Stop acting like a child.”  
I was silent for a long moment before speaking again. “I’ve helped hundreds of refugees. Healed them, fed them, gave them what little shelter and few blankets I had to spare.” I glared at Solas. “I’ve given all of my life to helping people, and for what? Imprisonment? Abandonment when I needed help? It seems that the more I give, the more people take away.”  
“Don’t your ‘kind’ keep to themselves?” Solas asked, his voice dripping with venom. Would I take the poison? Or add my own?  
“My ‘kind’?” I asked curiously. “What do you know of my ‘kind’?”  
“Aren't you a city elf?” Solas asked in confusion.  
I shook my head. “No, but if that helps you sleep at night then believe it.”  
“Why is it so trying to talk with you?” Solas asked. “I’m detecting intelligence in you, but you’re hiding it.”  
“Didn't you say you studied ruins?” I asked, attempting to get the subject off of me and prove that I wasn't a childish elf. If this line of questioning continued then there would be nothing left of what little bit of a story I had. Right now, I was simply a traveling healer that came to the Conclave to listen to the peace talks who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was no city or Dalish elf.  
She was though. The girl who's body I’d taken. She had been a Dalish elf once.  
“Any building strong enough to withstand the rigors of time has a history. Every battlefield is steeped in death. Both attract spirits. They press against the veil, weakening the barrier between our worlds. When I dream in such places, I can go deep into the fade. I can find memories no other living being has ever seen.”  
“The beasties don’t come after you?” I asked. Surely something would try to eat him if he fell asleep in a place like that.  
“I do set wards.” Solas said with a smile. “And if you leave out food the giant spiders are usually content to live and let live.” He sighed. “I will stay then, until the Breach is sealed.”  
“I didn't think you would actually leave, what with all this fade around.” I joked.  
“I am an apostate mage surrounded by Chantry forces, and unlike you, I do not have a divine mark protecting me. Cassandra has been accommodating, but you understand my caution.” Solas said, no laugh in his voice. He was straight serious.  
“You came here to help Solas, I won’t let them use that against you.” I said. “I will not let someone else go through that.”  
“How would you stop them?” He inquired.  
“However I had to.” I said without missing a beat, my face taking on a little color. I suddenly realized that I felt something toward this elf. Whatever you called it: compassion, understanding, friendship, he had been the first real mortal I had ever talked to.  
Except for the girl.  
“Thank you.” He said sincerely. If he knew about elves, then maybe he would know about the girl. At the very least, I could learn of something to do to say I was sorry. I chided myself, knowing full well that such a thing was childish to think about.  
“I would like to hear your opinions on elven culture.” I said, my words sounding practiced and forced. This wasn't a subject I wanted to learn about. His face fell almost instantly, which meant that this would be a tough conversation.  
Might as well get it out of the way.  
“I was hoping to hear your opinions on elven culture.” Solas said. “If you aren't a city elf, then perhaps you are Dalish?” Definitely not something I should have asked.  
I gave an annoyed sigh. “What about you Solas? Are you Dalish or city elf?”  
“I am neither.” Solas said, a slight look of disgust hidden under his mask.  
“Then do tell why you would think I would be one or the other.” I said. “I’m obviously not offended, like you.”  
Solas’ face softened. “I am sorry da’len. What would you like to know?”  
“For starters, what does that word mean?” I asked. “Is that elvish?”  
“Yes it is. Da’len means child.” Solas answered. “I take it you do not know the language?”  
I laughed. “I do not, unfortunately. I believe that I would like to learn the language, if someone were to teach me.” While discussing Dalish or city elves wasn't something I enjoyed, the broken language of the elvhen was something I found very interesting. I hadn't learned it to the depth I desired. “What about the ancient elves?”  
Curiosity lit in his eyes like a fire. “The Dalish strive to remember Halamshiral, but Halamshiral was merely a fumbling attempt to recreate a forgotten land.”  
“Arlathan.” I said, quite pleased with myself. I knew that much, at least.  
“Elvhenan was the empire, and Arlathan its greatest city. A place of magic and beauty lost to time.”  
“There must be more.” I said, urging him to continue.   
“You might have heard stories of them living in trees. Imagine instead spires and majestic arches. Palaces floating among the clouds. Imagine beings who lived forever, for whom magic was as natural as breathing. That is what was lost.”  
“Wow.” Was all I could say. The word made Solas laughed lightly, letting me know that he bore me no ill will. I walked over and leaned against the stone wall, giving myself time to absorb all the information.  
“Do you know anything about their immortality.” I suddenly asked, the curious question out of my mouth before I realized.  
“What do you mean?” Solas asked.  
“Was it magic?” I asked, unsure if my question was good enough.   
Solas shook his head. “No, it was simply a part of being elven. The subtle beauty of the magic was the effect, not the cause, of their nature. Some spells took years to cast. Echoes would linger for centuries, harmonizing with the new magic in an unending symphony. It must have been beautiful.” His voice was wistful as he finished. Solas was silent for a long moment, and I wondered if it were improper to speak in this sort of silence.  
“One more question.” I said, breaking the silence anyway. “Have you seen a woman who speaks strange and has lavender tinted skin?”  
“I haven't.” Solas answered. “Forgive me, but your friend sounds strange.”  
“That’s because she’s spirit.” I answered, lifting my eyes to the tavern. My stomach growled angrily, demanding it be fed.  
“You speak with spirits?” Solas asked incredulously.  
“Just this one.” I said quietly. “She’s been around for forever taking care of my father and I.”  
“Do you know what kind of spirit she is?” Solas inquired.  
I shook my head. “I don’t. I felt like asking that was the equivalent of asking if I was a man or a woman. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.”  
“Spirits don’t have feelings.” Solas pointed out.  
“This one did.” I said quietly. I wordlessly walked toward the tavern, leaving him to think about what I had said.  
The inside of the cramped tavern was lively and dangerous to my health. Everyone was in there horsing around and drinking whole mugs of a vile smelling liquid. I calmly went up to the bar lady and asked for some food. She nodded and told me to go find a table.  
“Joker!”  
I turned, finding Varric sitting alone at a table. He waved me over.   
“You look rough.” He admitted as I sat down. “Now that Cassandra’s out of earshot, how are you holding up?”  
How was I holding up? I believed that was a genuine question about my wellbeing.  
Varric tilted his chair back and folded his arms behind his head. “I mean, you go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful. Most people would have spread that out over more than one day.”  
“This is all bullshit.” I said, glaring up at the ceiling. Up in the sky above me was the reason I couldn't go home, and the reason I was still a prisoner.  
“You don’t know the half of it.” Varric chuckled. “For days now we’ve been staring up at the Breach, watching demons and Maker-knows-what fall out of it. ‘Bad for moral’ is an understatement. I still cant believe anyone was in there and lived.”  
“Why did you stick around?” I asked as the lady brought us some soup and a few slices of bread. The mixture smelled exquisite, but that might have been from me starving half to death.  
“I like to think I’m as selfish and irresponsible as the next guy, but this…” Varric raised his around and gestured around us. He shook his head. “Thousands of people died on that mountain. I was almost one of them. Now there’s a hole in the sky. Even I can walk away and leave that to sort itself out.”  
“That was a record day for me.” I raised up three fingers. “Almost died at the Conclave, almost died when the mark was put in my hand, and almost died fighting a demon.”  
“You’re on a roll Joker.” Varric chuckled lightly.   
“In all honesty…” I began as I picked up my drink. “It was pure luck that I escaped.”  
“Good luck or bad?” Varric asked as I took a small sip of my drink. It tasted warm and filling, but unlike the other alcohols in the tavern. This also had the strong scent of apples in it. Maybe it was apple cider? “You might want to consider running at the first opportunity. I’ve written enough tragedies to recognize where this is going. Heroes are everywhere. I’ve seen that. But the hole in the sky? That’s beyond heroes. We’re going to need a miracle.” He though about having a hero to, but he didn't depend on them.   
“Tell me, Varric. Do you believe that a dragon could be a hero?” I asked. I gently spooned some of the soup in my mouth and began to eat.  
“In a storybook? Of course a dragon could save the world and get pats on the back, but in the real world it would be impossible.” Varric answered truthfully.   
Impossible? Impossible was just the word ‘possible’ with an I’m strung up in front of it.  
I’m possible.  
Maybe I could become the first dragon hero.


	4. Pain and Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine deals with grief in her own, peculiar way. Also, she 'gets' a staff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally mention the whole 'fire breathing' thing. 
> 
> For those who do not know, andaran atish'an is an elvish greeting.

”Is it possible that we could become friends?”  
“We already are.”

My eyes flashed opened, blankly staring at the tree with the small snow sculpture in front of me. The snow was nothing more than a small mound that was horribly carved into a sphere.   
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered again, adding to the count of the thousands of times I had said those words. No matter how much I said them, they would never be enough. That was what this was for wasn't it?  
I had come all the way out here before the sun rose hoping, no praying, that I could make things right. That was the attitude that woke me up every morning. It was what drove me into the woods to build a lopsided snowball and prop it up against a tree. It was why I was on my knees in the snow, letting the cold, frozen water seep into my clothes and coat my skin. In truth, I was lonely and I missed my friend.  
That just made it worse, didn't it? The fact that I had willingly killed my friend. She had been my only friend, and I didn't feel deserving of another. This snowball was something I could talk to and act like I was talking to her, but it would never be her.  
“I-I’m so sorry.” I stammered softly, a sob wracking through my body. I was falling apart at the seams. This, however, was a secret that I would take to my grave. I took a deep breath, letting the air fill my lungs and steel every part of my body. That steel would keep me alive here.

“Herald?” Solas’ voice called.   
“Joker?” Varric called out nearby. I placed my hand over the crooked snowball, only to see it fall apart into a small mound of snow.   
Just like everything I cared about. I would eventually kill it.  
Two pairs of footsteps came toward me, but stopped some distance away. They were giving me space? For what? I had already come out here to do what I wanted.  
“Uh, Joker what are you doing?” Varric asked.  
“None of your damn business.” I answered point-blank. “Leave me be.”  
“Right, well, the advisors would like to speak with you.” Varric said, turning away and walking back toward Haven. I didn't look over my shoulder to watch him leave. “I’m leaving this one to you, Solas.”  
“Me?” Solas said quietly, as if he thought I couldn't hear him. “What do you suggest I do?”  
“She’s hurting.” Varric pointed out. “See if you can help her. I’m going back before I freeze my ass off.” Varric’s footsteps began heading back to Haven while Solas stayed put. I could almost hear the mental battle he had with himself on whether to help me or not. I wouldn't be surprised if he left, just like all the other mortals did.  
It was a few minutes of a silent stalemate before I rose up, brushed off my pants, and walked past Solas with a face as cold as the snow around us. He caught my arm as I passed, sending a spark through my limb like when he held my hand up toward the rift. I stared straight ahead, the village my destination. It would not be altered.  
“Are you alright?” Solas inquired, the question more along the lines of him asking for philosophical suggestions rather than how I felt.  
“Fine.” I answered.  
“I know that I wouldn't be the best to talk about it with, but I am good at listening.” Solas said. “I also know a spell that would keep anyone from hearing you.”  
“That will not be necessary.” I stated, prying his hand off my arm. I took a step, but paused suddenly as a cold feeling washed over my. It left me feeling a little more broken than before, as if his hand was healing my old hurt.

“Do you ever feel like everything you touch will die.” I asked softly, my voice barely above a whispered. “Like if you were to love something, and it would eventually die from you caring about it.”  
“I have.” Solas admitted slowly, a sadness in his voice. It was well hidden.   
“Does that feeling ever go away?” I asked quietly.  
“I wish I could say that it does.” Solas answered. I started walking back to Haven before his words halted me. “Eventually, you do realize that it’s not always your fault something bad happens. It just means you’re a person who makes mistakes, just like everyone.”  
A loud laugh escaped my lips. I wasn't mortal! I wasn't like them!  
Or maybe…. Maybe I was. Maybe I was slowly turning into a mortal.

***

“Now we’ve done our best not to ask about this, but did you really breathe fire?” Cassandra asked.   
It had taken me a while to find my way to the Chantry with all these things on my mind. When I’d managed to get in the ‘war room’, as it was called, I was surprised to find two new people, Leliana, and Cassandra all huddled over a large map of Thedas.  
The first was a woman they had introduced as Josephine. She had dark brown—almost black—hair that was pulled back out of her face. The clothes she wore were a gaudy purple and gold with goofy sleeves. Her darker skin glowed in the dim candlelight, and her dark eyes were cleverly analyzing every bit of me. It was unnerving.  
The other new person was a man named Cullen. His blonde hair looked much darker than it actually was, and his tanned skin—it was still a little light on his face—showed he had spent hours in the sun. His eyes were scanning the map instead of me, which was something I was grateful for. One pair of eyes taking me apart at the seams was more than enough.

“I did.” I answered. “I don't like to do it, but sometimes it is necessary.”  
“Why not?” Cullen asked. “From what Cassandra and Leliana spoke of, it must have been an extraordinary sight. In fact, they could stop talking about it.” Cullen smiled, showing off a small scar that danced on his lip. He wasn't bad looking, for a mortal.  
“It burns the inside of my lungs.” I answered. “It also leaves me feeling weak and winded.”  
“That’s actually a good reason.” Cullen admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I do hope that I get to see it, but I wouldn't want to cause you pain.”  
Wow… Did he really just say that? He would be the first mortal who has ever said that to me. Ever.  
“You’re the first one who’s ever said anything like that to me.” I admitted aloud. “Normally they demand to see it.”  
“Enough about that.” Cassandra said. “We need to make a decision.”  
“Decision?” I asked in confusion.  
“Solas believes that a second attempt on the Breach might succeed, provided your mark has more power. The same level of power used to open the Breach in the first place. That is not easy to come by.” Cassandra informed.  
“What harm could come out of powering up something we barely understand.” I said, slapping a hand to my forehead. They were all idiots. We were all idiots.  
“Hold on to that sense of humor.” Cassandra said, a ghost of a laugh behind her lips. “May I present, Commander Cullen.” She gestured over to Cullen. “Leader of the Inquisition’s forces.”  
Cullen sighed. “Such as they are. We lost many soldiers in the valley, and I fear many more before this is through.”  
“This is lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat.” Cassandra introduced.  
“Andaran atish’an.” Josephine said. I gave her a puzzled look before she realized. “Oh! You don't know elvish!”  
I shook my head. “It is a common misconception apparently. Do not trouble yourself with it.”  
“And of course you know Sister Leliana.” Cassandra continued.  
Leliana smiled slightly. “My position here involves a degree of…”   
“She is our spymaster.” Cassandra finished for her. Leliana gave her a slightly annoyed look.  
“Yes, tactfully put Cassandra.” She said in an annoyed voice.  
“That’s an impressive bunch of titles.” I said jokingly.  
“I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good.” Cassandra said, beginning the real reason why I was here.  
“That is why we must approach the rebel mages for help.” Leliana stated. Oh shit, I had just walked into a mini mortal war. I shifted uncomfortably.  
“And I still disagree.” Cullen said. “The templars could serve just as well.”  
Cassandra sighed. “We need power Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark—.”  
“Might destroy us all.” Cullen interrupted. “The templars could suppress the Breach, weaken it so—.”  
“Pure speculation.” Leliana interrupted. Were they ever going to let each other finish?  
“I was a templar. I know what they’re capable of.” Cullen said, obviously annoyed.  
“Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet.” Josephine broke in. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition—and you, specifically.” Josephine gestured to me. I put a hand on my chest in mock heartbreak.  
“Oh no, whatever shall I do.” I said, putting a hand to my forehead as if I were swooning. “The Chantry has denounced me? That certainly didn't take long.”   
“Shouldn’t they be busy arguing over who's going to become Divine?” Cullen asked, trying not to laugh at my acting.  
“Some are calling you—an elf—the ‘Herald of Andraste’. That frightens the Chantry.” Josephine explained. “The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you.” It wasn't like I hadn't heard the whole ‘Herald of Andraste’ thing, but it was still no less idiotic to make a dragon a herald. We weren't heralds of anything.  
“Chancellor Roderick’s doing, no doubt.” Cassandra said.  
“It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question.”  
“Just how am I the ‘Herald of Andraste’?” I asked.  
“People saw what you did at the temple, how you stopped the Breach from growing.” Cassandra said. “They have also heard about the woman seen in the rift when we first found you. They believe that was Andraste.”  
“Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading—.” Leliana began.  
“Which we have not.” Cassandra interrupted.   
“The point is, everyone is talking about you.” Leliana said, watching me with a level gaze.  
“That’s quite the title, isn't it?” Cullen asked. “How do you feel about that?”  
“This is the first present I’ve ever gotten.” I admitted. “Is there any way to return it?”  
Cullen laughed. “I’m sure the Chantry would appreciate that, but no there isn’t.”  
“People are desperate for a sign of hope.” Leliana said. “To some, you’re that sign.”  
“And to others, a symbol of everything that’s gone wrong.” Josephine finished.  
“Ooh. So I’m the problem here?” I asked, a touch of sarcasm in my tone. They seemed to be getting used to my joking, non-serious attitude.  
“There is no you not being here.” Cassandra said. 

I would have felt touched if I didn't feel like such a prisoner. I could have ran away from all of it and they would come bring me back to this mess, just like a prisoner. They could say it was my choice to stay, but, in the end, I wouldn't be able to leave until they said I could. Until that Breach was closed.

“There is something you can do.” Leliana suggested. “A Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak with you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable.”  
“Is she going to try and convert me?” I asked seriously.   
“Not that I’m aware.” Leliana answered. “You will find Mother Giselle tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe.”  
“Look for other opportunities to expand the Inquisition’s influence while you are there.” Cullen suggested.  
“We need agents to extend our reach beyond this valley, and you’re better suited than anyone to recruit them.” Josephine pointed out.  
“When will we leave for the Hinterlands?” I inquired.   
“Tomorrow.” Cassandra answered. So soon?  
“Right, well, I have things to do before then.” I said, backing toward the door. “So, if you’ll excuse me…” I pushed open the heavy door and ran through the Chantry and out toward Haven. My legs took me quickly through the city and out past the front gates toward the frozen pond. The bitter air stung my lungs as I caught my breath next to the pier.  
I walked around the pond, heading quickly into the woods behind it. If I was lucky, no one would follow me. Finally, I stopped next to a thick evergreen and leaned against it. I closed my eyes, letting her voice wash over me. 

“And so I’ve fallen deep beside the one that I once knew. Now I find that I am true to you, only you.”  
Elizabeth. Mother. I missed her so much. She always knew what to sing to calm me down, always knew what to say, and could read me like an open book. Now though… Now I didn't have her. I had to keep her memory alive somehow. I did so by singing with her in my memories of her, which could only the best ones.   
“Never let your heart wander through the wind.” I sang softly along with her in my memory. I wove through the evergreens, letting the song, her voice, guide me. “Remember that freedom that you’ll win.” Her song made little sense to the mortal, but to a dragon it made more sense than any lullaby or hymn song.   
“Always let your heart take flight, like a little dove. For I know one day that you’ll be in—.”

“Valentine?” Solas’ voice called out, hushing my own. I hid behind a tree—purely out of habit—and peered around its edge. There he was, wandering around in the snow. He wasn't looking for me, was he?  
“Valentine? Where are you?” Solas called out, his voice sounding out of breath. I stepped out from behind my tree, right into his view. For a long moment we just stood there, staring at each other and waiting for the other to say something to justify why they were here. It wouldn't be me.  
“Was that you singing?” Solas asked.  
“How did you hear me?” I asked back. A light flush covered the tips of his pointy ears. He was blushing? The world really was coming to an end, wasn't it?  
“You came running out of the Chantry like something was wrong.” Solas said. “I wanted to see if you were alright, so I ran after you. You vanished into these woods and then I heard singing, so I assumed it was you.”

That definitely topped my list of the nicest thing ever said. He actually ran into the woods after me to see if I was okay.  
“Well you’ll be pleased to know that I’m fine.” I said. Solas shook his head and sighed.  
“I do not know you that well, Herald, but I know that when you say you’re ‘fine’ you aren't fine. Now, what is bothering you?” It was Herald now? What happened to my name?  
“Everything.” I answered truthfully. “I’m expected to go strolling off to the Hinterlands tomorrow to talk with a Chantry lady and help the people, which I don't mind doing, but I hate being told what to do.”  
“Sometimes everyone has to take orders.” Solas said. “And I know about the Hinterlands. Cassandra sent word to me that I am to be accompanying you along with her and Varric.”  
“Well that is going to be a long trip!” I exclaimed. I leaned back into an evergreen. “Is this hell going to end?”  
“This situation will only be a living hell if you make it one.” Solas said. “I also came out here for a different reason.”  
“Oh?”   
“Would you like a staff?” He inquired.  
I shrugged. “I wouldn't know how to fight with one.”  
“I will teach you.” Solas said immediately, his ears turning pinkish as he realized how quickly he answered. I felt a little pink start dancing around on my face as well.

“Come on.” Solas said, walking back toward Haven. I slipped my mask back on my face and walked by his side back to the village. He led me to a small forge just outside of Haven’s walls. A man was beating a red-hot piece of metal with a hammer, slowing turning the metal into a sword. He left it there on an anvil as he and Solas began to speak.   
I moved over, looking at the metal with a curious gaze. Was it hotter than my fire? They were the same color, so it should be. I lifted my fingers up and gently brushed it against the edge of the sword. I didn't make any noise as pain ripped through my skin, letting the heat tear the pads off my fingers and left the open wounds to drip blood down my hand and onto the metal. So this was how burns felt. I had never gotten the chance to feel something so mundane.

“Herald, what did you do?” The blacksmith shouted loudly, rushing over to my side. He looked at my hand hopelessly before apologizing.  
“Why are you apologizing, I’m the one who touched the hot metal.” I said blankly.  
“Why the hell would you do that?” He asked.  
“I’ve never been burned before.” I answered truthfully. He gave me a long look before waving Solas toward a wall. Weapons of all types were stacked against it, including an old wooden staff.  
“You wanted to see what a burn felt like, so you touched a hot piece of metal.” Solas clarified. I nodded, giving him a smile. He grabbed my hand—gently so that he didn't hurt it—and cast a healing spell over my fingers. The flesh stitched itself back together, leaving only small scars and my blood-tinted skin.

“I could have healed myself you know.” I stated, looking over the scarred fingertips.  
“I wasn't sure if you were going to.” Solas admitted. “I mean, you did harm yourself to see what it would feel like.”  
“You say that like it is a bad thing.” I said quietly. “I just wanted to see what happens when I use my fire on those who would hurt me.”  
“Sometimes it is better not to know.” Solas admitted as he took a staff from the wall.   
“Yes, but now that I know I can make it more painless for them.” I stated. He paused in his evaluation of the staff and gave a long, hard look.   
Solas sighed. “You really are selfless aren't you?”   
“As often as I can be.” I said.  
“Be careful.” Solas said as he put the staff in my hands. “Sometimes you have to be selfish to keep yourself and those you care for alive.”

I blinked a few times as the staff heated up in my hands. The wood began to sag around my hands as the staff melted from the inside. I stared as the wood simply bent and then fell off like a liquid, leaving me with handfuls of charred wood and ash. Solas stared at my hands for a long moment, trying to process what had just happened.  
“I didn't burn it.” I promised.   
“I know.” Solas answered. “If you had burned it, then it would have exploded into flames.”  
“Well I thought I’d seen everything.” The blacksmith said from his anvil. He had gone back to work on the metal. “Never seen a mage melt a wooden staff.”  
“Neither have I.” Solas admitted. “You didn't melt the wood, you melted the magic and wards that held the staff together.”  
“I melted the magic?” I asked incredulously. I looked down at my charred hands in surprise.  
“I’ve got an idea.” The blacksmith said. “Swing back by tomorrow before you leave and I’ll have it ready.”  
“Of course.” I said.   
This hero was going to need an upgrade.


	5. The Hinterlands Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine finds herself at the front of a religious war, but that doesn't stop her from helping those in need.

“Good morning Mr. Blacksmith.” I greeted as he came out of his house, which doubled as the forge. He rubbed his eyes and, upon recognizing me, shuffled over toward his forge, which was still hot from a long night’s work. He pulled something off a table, the metal glistening in the morning light. 

“Try this.” He said, picking up the heavy metal stick. “It’s made from the same metal you bled all over yesterday.” I took it from his hands, finding that it weighed very little in my own. The best part was as my magic slipped over the rod, it didn't melt. I figured that it had something to do with my blood being forged into the metal, but there was no proof of that.  
“Thank you.” I said gratefully. “How much is it?”  
“Free.” He said after a moment’s thought. “Repay me by saving the world.”

***

“This is an interesting staff.” Solas said, admiring my metal staff as he wove the enchants and spells into it to make it channel my magic.   
We had all gotten up with the sun and gone on out way to the Hinterlands. We had traveled all day long, and had finally arrived at the main Inquisition camp. Cassandra wanted to ask around about Mother Giselle before we set off.

“How often do you see a pure metal staff like that?” I inquired, sitting up against my crate. Most of the passing soldiers cast long glances over at me, making me feel rather uncomfortable.  
“Most of the time the staves are made from wood and metal, just wood, or mostly metal. None are completely made of a solid metal because of how heavy they get.” Solas informed, glaring at one such solider and making him walk away just a little faster.  
“Mine is hollow.” I informed. “That’s why it’s so light.”  
“Yes, but the staff components themselves are metal, so it makes no sense why the staff is so light.” Solas puzzled.  
I glared at a staring soldier, making him turn away. “Are they all like this?” I asked Solas.  
“You are the Herald of Andraste.” Solas said, as if that were enough of an answer. “You are also a rather beautiful elf. They will look at you for both reasons.”  
“You think I’m beautiful?” I asked softly, a blush spreading across my cheeks.  
“You are indeed.” Solas stated.  
“Is that why you glared at that soldier?” I teased. He paused in his work on my staff to give me an ‘are you serious’ look. I laughed brightly, the bubbly sound filling the air and making both Solas and everyone nearby smile.

I stopped my laugh, completely halting it as a sound graced the edge of my hearing. I rose to my feet, listening carefully and waving at hand at Solas to silence his question. It was a voice coming from nearby. They sounded in pain.  
I dashed out of the camp and over a rock. My agility and reflexes were heightened by adrenaline as I went off to do what I had spent every second of my life in this body doing.   
I went to save a mortal.  
The closer I got, the louder the voice became. I emerged from the woods and into a small plain, where I found a little girl—who couldn't have been older than six—on the ground, with a templar above her. He held his sword high in the air, preparing to bring it down on the girl.  
“Stop!” I shouted, running toward the templar. I grabbed a thick branch from the ground, and held it up as I stepped in the girl’s place. The branch held as his sword went into and stuck in the bark. 

“The witch must die!” The templar screamed at me as he wrenched the branch from my hands. I kicked him, landing a hit right in the center of his chest, and sent him flying back to the ground. I picked up the small girl—who was rather light—and began to run back toward the camp. The templar’s screams followed me, which meant he would give chase. I was significantly slower with the girl in my arms, so one way or another he was going to catch up to me.   
Metal sang through the air as a dagger clipped my arm, but luckily missed the girl. I grunted in pain, and knew that another templar had joined in the chase. There would be no outrunning them both.

I threw the girl down into a pile of grass and kicked my foot up into the air. Another dagger sang as it was deflected by my thick leather boot. I raised my hands up, and then violently brought them down. Fire poured out of the air, surrounding the two men as they came into my sight. Within a few seconds, the two were nothing more than ash. I shook off the smoke that came from my palms and stared briefly at the ashes. Such a waste.

“Come on.” I said quickly to the girl. “Can you walk?” She shook her head and pointed down at her leg. Blood dripped down from a large cut that ran across the back of her calf. They hadn't wanted her to get away, and with a wound like that she wouldn't last much longer before bleeding out. Fury burned in my eyes as I picked up and jogged back toward the Inquisition camp. I couldn't heal her here, not if more templars could show up or were waiting for an ambush. Sticks cracked underfoot, and my eyes began scanning the forest. I feared the worst.

“Solas!” I shouted as my eye caught a flash of the elf through the trees. I set the girl back down on the ground and placed my hands over her leg. “I will heal her. Make sure there are no more templars.”  
The poor girl’s head fell back onto the grass, spilling her curly blonde hair out in an exhausted fan. My magic healed her wound in mere seconds, giving her enough strength to keep her eyes open and talk.

“What is your name?” I asked softly, bearing in mind that she might go into shock.   
“Rose.” She answered softly, her light voice filled with sorrow. “They killed my mamae.” Rose suddenly sat up and threw her arms around me. She sobbed violently into my shirt.  
“Thank you so much.” She said, choking on her words.  
“Oh well, couldn't leave you to fight your own battle.” I joked. Cassandra burst into the little clearing, finding Solas, Rose and I. She had looked furious, but now her face softened.  
“What happened?” She asked, kneeling next to the girl. I gently pried her off my shirt and pushed her toward Cassandra. 

“M—Mamae and I were gathering herbs.” She stammered. “These two templars showed up and thought that we were witches. T—They killed my mamae!”  
“Mamae.” I said quietly. I had heard that word before. It was elvish and I believed that word meant ‘mother’. I gently pulled back the girl’s mess of curls, finding a small pointy ear. No wonder she had been so light and easy to carry.  
“Do you have any other family?” Cassandra asked. “A father or grandparents?”  
Rose shook her head. “No. He died when I was a baby. Mamae always said it was just me and her.” She was just like me then. She had no one and nothing.  
“Tell you what.” I said, breaking the sad silence. “How about you come back to Haven with us and you can be my little sister and a part of the Inquisition. How does that sound?”  
“Really?” Her eyes brightened. “I’ve never had a sister before.” 

The girl had considered me someone she could really talk to, almost like her sister.

“I did once.” I admitted, helping Rose to her feet. She took my hand and squeezed it tightly in her own. “I wasn't very good at it the first time, but now I can try again.”  
I led her back to the main Inquisition camp and gave her a tent, ’reserved for the Herald’, to sleep in. She went immediately into the tent, waving goodbye and sleepily saying farewell.   
“You have a soft spot after all.” Varric chuckled.   
“I told you that I’m selfless.” I said. “I have soft spots for everyone and everything.”  
“A soft spot for girls in trouble, it seems.” Solas reasoned. “The mother you healed had a daughter, and the girl you just saved both seemed around the same age range.”  
“Well maybe I feel like helping them because my mother died when I was that age.” I admitted, bringing on a solemn silence. I turned back and sighed. “Well you did pester me. That’s my answer.”  
“Shit, I’m sorry Joker.” Varric apologized.  
I shook my head. “No need. I simply want to help is all.”

“What are you going to do with Rose?” Solas inquired.  
“Exactly what I said I would.” I informed as I began going down the slope out of camp. Cassandra joined behind us, adjusting her shield around around hand and wrist.   
“You don't mean to take that girl back to Haven with us?” Cassandra asked.  
“Her name is Rose.” I snapped. “And yes I do. I do not lie to children.”  
“We do not have space.” Cassandra argued. “A war-zone is not a place for—.”  
“I will not come back to Haven if she doesn't come back with me.” I said, my voice with a growl in it. “Not willingly.”  
Cassandra groaned. “Fine, Herald. We will do this your way.”  
“Yes!” I cheered, going down the slope with a little more skip in my step. I stopped at the base of the hill, my eyes landing on four templar corpses with ice shoved through them. They had been dead for a long time.

Did this mean I would actually have to kill these people? I hadn't thought twice about saving Rose, but that was two people. Could I do it again? Could I do it on command?  
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Well that’s…” I ducked my head as walked past the bodies and into a clearing.  
“I do believe that is the first time I’ve ever seen you speechless, Joker.” Varric said, trying to lighten the situation.  
“What am I supposed to say?” I asked. “Looks like they got iced?”

Varric burst into laughter. “Well that is more like you.” Solas stifled his own laughter while Cassandra tried to hide her smile. It turned out I was the one who had made the situation lighter. It was awful that we laughed at such a thing, but maybe this was what we needed.   
That must have been Varric’s plan from the beginning.   
We moved into the clearing and rounded a massive boulder. On the other side was a small string of houses that looked deserted.  
“The Crossroads.” Cassandra explained. “This is where Mother Giselle will be.”

“Mages!” Shouted a thickly accented voice, spurring my group into action. My staff flew out in my hand—though I did not know how to use it. A templar burst from the tree-line, his sword above his head. Another followed, this one with a sword and shield. Cassandra occupied the sword and shield templar while the single sword charged toward me. I pointed my staff toward him, letting my magic flow through and then out.   
A large ball of fire launched from the end, absorbing the templar and leaving nothing but a shadow mark on the grass. The ground shook from the force, knocking me to my feet. I didn't cast an earthquake! What just happened?

“Shit Joker!” Varric shouted nervously. “Watch where you point that thing!”  
I flipped around, moving my staff up and blocking another templar. My fire ran through the metal staff, going into the man’s sword and burning his hands. Bits of melted metal fell down on my face, burning my skin. I rolled to the side, letting the templar fall where I had been as I jumped to my feet. Ice grew from the ground, encasing the templar in a prison of freezing cold. 

“I don’t need help.” I stated as Solas came to my side.   
“I figured you didn't.” Solas said, leaning on his staff. “Oh well.” I picked up my staff and threw it like a spear, launching it at another appearing templar. It clipped the top of his head, sending him back to the ground.  
“Guess you do.” I mused, picking up my staff.   
“I knew he was there.” Solas argued. I rolled my eyes as I walked up the stairs toward a woman in bright white and red robes—the robes of a Chantry woman. She knelt next to an injured man, praying over him.  
I sighed softly.   
This was going to be the start of a long day for this hero.


	6. Hinterlands Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine tells a little about herself and does a deed that will change how she is seen across Thedas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short! I apologize!  
> Where it ended is where it ended, but the next chapter will be out either at the same time or later in the day.

”Joker? How many you got?”  
“None.” I growled angrily as I threw my staff on the ground. 

We were supposed to be hunting rams for the Crossroads so that the refugees didn't starve to death, and I was doing an awful job of it. Typically you didn't have to actually ‘hunt’ something as a dragon. You just opened your mouth and chomped it down on something. Usually it was something edible.  
Now though, my magic was as helpful as the arid noonday sun that seemed to give it power. Three rams had already been charred beyond recognition, and that was from using just my ‘pinkie magic’. I sighed angrily, looking around at my frantic companions as they chased ram after ram with no success.   
An idea came to mind as I saw a bow leaning up against a tree with a few arrows embedded in the bark beside it. I took the bow, letting it settle in—an oddly familiar way—in my hand.  
The girl had been a proficient hunter before she found out she had magic. Her body would remember what it was doing, even if I had no idea. A ram huffed softly nearby, standing next to a tall tree. This was my chance.

I notched the arrow, letting the muscle memory sweep over me. It was as if she was guiding me, showing me how to fire my first arrow. The string pulled back all the way to my chest, with my left arm completely stretched out. I breathed out reflexively and let my arrow fly toward the nearby ram.

A soft thump, followed by the ram’s fall put a smile on my face. It had worked better than expected. I took the arrow from the ram and let myself have a moment of glee.  
“I got one!” I shouted loudly. I dragged the ram over to our wagon, which already had three on it. I laughed softly to myself. Solas was an overachieving bastard. Cassandra had one more to drag over, and then we would be done.

I laid back on the grass, letting the tiny stalks brush gently against my skin. As a dragon, when you laid in the grass like this you would set it on fire. Your body heat would be too much for the small plants, which meant that most of the time you would lay in a patch of dirt. I’d never felt the grass in such a way before this. Mostly that was because I’d lived in a desert.  
I sighed contently, staring up at the baby blue sky with those large puffy clouds. The sun shined brightly, providing a decent amount of heat. I could see my companions weren't used to such warm temperatures from the way they moved, and I could hear it from how they breathed. It was difficult to think of them as anything more than mortals when I could still hear and sense things like that.

“Where did you get that bow?” Varric asked.  
“I found it.” I answered, looking over the small wooden short-bow. It was finely crafted with a strong string and straight wooden arrows. There wasn't really all that much to it.  
“Your magic is definitely not the best for hunting.” Solas chuckled, he and my staff coming into view. “How did you know how to use a bow?”  
That was the question, wasn't it?

“I had to do something to provide food for myself.” I laughed lightly. “You saw how my magic performed in the hunting aspect. I learned how to shoot a bow.”  
“From your sister?” Cassandra inquired. I sat up suddenly, a pain shooting through my chest.  
“I don't remember her.” I said quickly, rushing to change the subject. “There was an accident, and now I do not remember anything about her, let alone her name.”  
This lie was spreading like a wildfire. It was going to consume me.  
“What happened?” Solas asked, his voice questioning.   
“I…” I paused quietly, the events flashing before my eyes. There I was in all of my dragon glory; bright golden scales shining in the sun and emerald eyes staring down at the girl. For the life of me I couldn't remember her name—not because I didn't care, but because I had forgotten just about every scrap of memory related to her after that damned mage took them. “I don’t like to talk about it.”

“Let us return to the Crossroads then. “Cassandra said, breaking the tense silence. “That hunter will want these rams, and we have yet to receive word from Leliana about the information from Mother Giselle.”

***

“Water!” I shouted happily, running with my arms spread out like I was soaring straight for the tiny rippling pond. Water still made me happy, even after all this time.   
“All this fuss over water?” Varric asked. I knelt next to the clear water and watched the small minnows dash around in their shallows.   
“I used to not get enough to drink.” I admitted. “Water was scarce where I lived.”  
“Where did you live?” Cassandra inquired. They were certainly a group with questions, that was sure.   
I let my fingers weave through my hair as I thought. Scenes of hot weather, dry tongues, and sand in uncomfortable places flashed in my mind. “A desert, I think.”  
“You don’t remember?” Solas asked.  
“Not really.” I said, sitting cross legged next to the water. I closed my eyes and let the pure memory flow over me. “I do remember how beautiful water would look, even if it only ever had a muddy brown charm. How the gritty sand felt between fingertips as it sifted through your fingers, and the warm feeling it left against your skin. The thin cloth against your skin, shielding you from a merciless sun as you tromped through an unending sea of sand and orange rocks that held forgotten secrets. There was the great scar of the land; a long reddish-orange canyon that cut through the sandy sea—like a knife cuts bread—and guarded entrance to a mountain range that made me feel small.” I sighed longingly as I dipped my hands in the water. It was cool to the touch, and a chill went through my arms. “Odd that something like this would remind me of home.”

“Well hopefully we can be done with this and you can go back to whatever you like about the desert.” Varric said, patting my shoulder. “Now, don’t we have a horse-master to go talk to?”  
I chuckled. “More like get down on our knees and beg him to give us horses.”  
“If we can even make it there without being ambushed by templars.” Solas said, rubbing at the blood from a profusely bleeding cut on his face. I tore a small square of cloth off my shirt, dipped it in the clear water, and wiped the blood from his cheek. He seemed to be blushing, but I ignored it as I laid my wet palm against the cut and sealed it.   
“All better.” I said, giving him a smile before continuing on my way. I glanced back over my shoulder, finding that he was rubbing his cheek with a grin of his own. My heart fluttered as I stared back ahead at the trees, wondering how long all of this would last.

These were the first mortals who had actually treated me like I belonged in this world. Yet that was still all they were to me: mortals. Beings who would die, just like she did. Maybe I would be the one to kill them, or get them killed.   
We continued through the day and arrived late in the afternoon on the outskirts of horse-master Dennet’s farm. I kept my distance from the tall, yellow grass, mainly since I could smell how dry and flammable it was. No good thing would come from me—a dragon who breaths fire—being in tall, dry grass. One of my sneezes could probably set it aflame. I laughed out loud, and immediately slapped my hands over my mouth.

“Going mad Joker?” Varric asked.  
I nodded. “Just wondered what were to happen if I sneezed on this grass. Would it go up into flames?”  
“I suppose it would, if you sneezed fire.” Solas admitted, barely suppressing a chuckle.  
“Chuckles, let’s be honest.” Varric said, looking over at Solas. “If Joker here were to go out into that grass and sneeze, she would burn down the entire damn farm.”  
“That’s a lot of faith in a small sneeze.” I said, looking up at the darkening sky. The heavy scent of rain danced in my nose, making me shudder. “We should probably take shelter.”

“Why?” Varric asked, looking up at the blue sky. “There isn't a cloud in the sky.”  
“You don’t smell the rain?” I asked, looking up at the sky. Light, puffy white cloud were lazily forming on the horizon, but they didn't seem to bring rain. I jumped in my skin as an angry roar echoed through the sky above us. C-Could it be? There was no way!

“A dragon!” Cassandra hissed. “Take cover!” I slowly followed the others as they dashed toward the tree-line. My eyes searched the blue sky, and finally settled on a bright yellow figure.   
The dragon was female—I could tell from the way her back and chest arched—and her bright yellow scales reflected the sun, but not in the beautiful way mine had. Her scales didn't shimmer, but became more and more painful to look at as she got closer. Horns spiraled roughly out of her head toward the front—much like a goat—and her angular jaw and face stared at the horizon with deadly intent. I stared up as she flew overhead, not even bothering to hide. She knew we were here.

“Herald!” Cassandra hissed. She wanted me to hide, but from what?   
Then the dragon hummed.  
Typically dragons roared as their form of communication, but for close distance we—they preferred a deep hum that came from the base of the chest. The pauses and elevations in tone were a distinct and easily understood form of dragon-tongue, but most mortals mistake it for growling.  
“In that form you are nothing more than an ant to be crushed under my claws. You are no more mighty than your mother.”

Insults. Insults. Insults! She was insulting my mother, which set my anger on fire. Even if I didn't have scales, I still had what mattered. My fire.  
I stepped out in the middle of the grassy field, letting myself walk freely into the waist-high grass. My staff was tossed back toward the tree-line, where I knew Solas would take care of it. They disapproved of my actions, but such things did not matter to me. My position in the field was enough of a challenge, and the dragon came to a thundering landing near my friends.  
We stared at each other, locked in a mental combat that I would never lose. She was a feral, and I a temper. Locked in unending combat for which type of dragon was better. A feral beast that cared only for him/herself, or a temper dragon with a thought to the lives taken and saved.

“Face me then, tiny dragon.” She huffed, scratching a claw in the dusty ground. She had landed away from the far enough that my magic would not set anything on fire, so long as I controlled it.   
I raised my hand and snapped my fingers. The very fires of hell exploded.  
The dragon who had one been so cocky, was nothing more than ash and bone scraps in mere seconds. My magic had not flared out dangerously, and was actually rather tamed. My face shows no emotion as I stared at her corpse.

Ferals were a breed of dragon that no one should ever cross, unless you were born to kill them like I was.  
Tempers were the rare dragons that were created solely to fight the ferals. I was one such example, born with a distaste for everything a dragon should love: hoarding, killing, hunting, among other things. My mother and I were—are a dying breed: the only dragons capable of completely killing a dragon without having to fight and endanger those nearby. I didn't just seek to be selfless, I sought to protect the mortals from a war they couldn't possibly understand.

“Holy shit.” Varric said, voicing everyone’s thoughts as they slowly emerged from the woods. I glared over at them, making them stop in their tracks.   
“Herald?” Solas asked warily, as if I wasn't still me. That was why they would never learn about my true form.  
“Well, I just about broke a sweat with that one!” I exclaimed, wiping imaginary sweat from my forehead. Everyone immediately relaxed.  
“I’ve never seen anything like that.” Cassandra admitted incredulously. “Are you a dragon-slayer?”  
“I was supposed to be.” I said quietly, looking over sadly at the dragon’s charred remains. Maybe, if she hadn't been a feral, we could’ve been friends. “I rejected my birthright, not knowing if it was a blessing or a curse.”  
“Any magic that strong is a welcome blessing, I'm sure.” Varric joked. I turned, watching as a man—who had previously been running—stopped in his tracks and raised his hands up.  
“Hold there!” He shouted in a gruff voice. I relaxed, giving him the okay to continue running toward me. He stopped next to me, dripping sweat and out of breath.  
“You’re… Who are you?” He wheezed. I nodded as he leaned forward onto his knees. “I’m Dennet. Did you really just kill that monster?”  
I flinched at the term. “I did. I’m the Herald of Andraste.” I choked a bit on the ‘herald’ part.

“I want to thank you.” Dennet said gratefully, his gruff voice softer for a moment. “That thing has been flying around, stealing cattle and threatening travelers for years. Many dragon-slayers have tried to kill it, but no one had succeeded.”  
“That’s pretty story Mr. Dennet.” I mused. “I just killed it because it might’ve hurt someone, if it hadn't already.”  
“My wife and I wanted to treat you to a meal.” Dennet said, gesturing up to the largest house on the farm.   
“That would be most welcome.” I thanked. Cassandra made the motion to keep going, which spurred me into remembering the whole reason why we came here. “I would also like to talk with you about getting some of Fereldan’s finest horses.”  
“Sure thing Herald.” Dennet said, his voice and attitude gruff like it would have been had I not killed the dragon. 

A dragon that killed a dragon. What a hero I was, not even getting a prince for my efforts.


	7. Hinterlands Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine gets to know Solas and the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly dialogue. I tried my hand at some flirting, but I don't really think I'm all that good at that. That aspect is the reason for a dragon age fanfiction.

Where am I?

I stared out at the open sky and unruly desert below, watching as the constantly shifting sands changed the shapes of their dunes almost like magic. The violent wind whipped at my long hair, sending it up into the sky and into a mass of knots and tangles. The sun was setting with an angry display of reds, yellows, and violent oranges. It was as if the blasted thing was sad to go and let the night cool down what it had worked so hard to heat.

“It is a nice place.” Solas said, his voice trying to show some cheer. I turned, finding the elf wading through the thick, gritty sand as if it were water.  
“You do not have to lie.” I chuckled softly. “I know it is not where you would rather be, but to me it’s home.”  
“That is the beauty of the Fade.” Solas said, waving his hand toward the ground. Grass sprouted from the sand and from it grew a small white flower. He picked it up and smiled. “You are not limited here. You wanted to be here, so it took you home.”

It was certainly where I would have rather been. The gritty sand and empowering sun would have been much nicer than the humid forest with no shortage of templars. I looked out at the vast desert behind him, and let myself ask aloud. “Where would you rather be?”  
Solas waved his hand, and the world around us disappeared and was replaced by a sight that I had no words for.

Everything was green. Tall trees, big enough to have four people wrap their arms around—and still not completely circle—it, and massive leaves that twisted and wove their way through the air when they fell. Bright green hues decorated the canopy, mixing the different types of trees until you were unsure where one stopped, and the other began. Soft grass grew under my feet, winding gently around my toes and bare feet. Everything felt so closed in, despite being very beautiful. 

Where was Solas? I glanced around, finding that he had left me to stare at the forest on my own. A small, sweet pink petal floated through the air lazily before landing on my nose. I gently placed it in my palm as another began to float down. They were creating a path for me to follow.  
I followed the petals, marveling in how the smell of earth could smell so sweet, wet, and dusty all at once. Finally, the last petal dropped next to a beautiful tree that held millions of the small, pink flower the petals had come from. Grey bark winded in an odd circular pattern up into the top, from which branches of all shapes and sizes flung flowers out, cascading the buds like water down the bark.  
“Wow.” I breathed, taking in the sweet, syrupy smell. It was wonderful.

“There is more out there than a desert, lethallan.” Solas informed, his voice coming from all directions. Lethallan was a term used for friends. The girl had referred to me that way before.  
“Perhaps.” I said, allowing myself a single moment to wonder. A world that I could explore without needing to be selfless, without worrying, without feeling guilty about my birthright, my mother, and the girl. It would have been something beautiful, to live without that weight.  
“I’d like to know more about you Solas.” I admitted suddenly, my eyes darting around to find the elf. He appeared in front of me just as sudden as my question.  
“Why?” He asked, trying to conceal his nervousness. I wasn't the only one with a secret apparently.  
“Umm… the world is coming to an end and I want to know who will try to take over the Orlesian throne.” I lied. “In all seriousness, you’re an apostate who stayed to help even though you didn't have to. I honestly wouldn't have stayed if I had a choice.”

“Not the wisest course of action when framed that way.” Solas admitted.  
“I appreciate what you do, Solas. I just wanted to know more about you.” I said, my voice showing a little excitement.  
“I am sorry. With so much fear in the air…” He trailed off. “What would you know of me?”  
“This place, you called it the fade.” I stated, running my hand through the air like he did. Nothing happened, which was disappointing. “Why study it?”  
“I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic.” Solas sighed wistfully. “But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the fade, became troublesome.”  
I sat down on the soft grass. “Did they try to tempt you?”  
“No more than a brightly colored fruit is deliberately tempting you to eat it.” He said, pausing briefly. “I learned how to defend myself from more aggressive spirits and how to interact safely with the rest. I learned how to control my dreams with full consciousness. There was so much I wanted to explore.”  
“You woke up.” I said abruptly. “You didn't spend your entire life dreaming.”  
“No, eventually I was unable to find new areas in the Fade.” Solas admitted.

“Why?”  
“Two reasons.” Solas said as he sat across from me in the grass. “First, the Fade reflects the world around it. Unless I traveled, I would never find anything new. Second, the Fade reflects and is limited by our imaginations. To find interesting areas, one must be interesting.”  
“That’s why you joined the Inquisition, isn't it?” I inquired.  
“I joined because we were all in terrible danger. If our enemies destroyed the world, I would have no place to lay my head while dreaming of the Fade.” Solas explained.  
“I wish you luck.” I said.  
“Thank you.” Solas smiled. “In truth, I have enjoyed experiencing more of life to find more of the fade.”  
“How so?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. It was a bad habit I had as a dragon.  
“You train your will to control magic and withstand possession. Your indomitable focus is an enjoyable side benefit.”  
“Indomitable focus?” Was he flirting with me?  
“Presumably.” Solas said. “I have yet to see it dominated. I imagine the sight would be… fascinating.”  
“Hmm.” 

“Almost like watching you, with nothing more than a snap of your fingers, take down a dragon with one blow.” Solas added.  
“I imagine Varric will love telling that tale.” I mused. “If he hasn't already.”  
“I imagine the amount of magic you wield is… staggering.” Solas said. “Deep mana pools and those who are able to use them are rare, but those who use them without a staff? You are unheard of, Herald.”  
“Please don’t call me that.” I said. “Vale will do just fine.”  
“You do not like Valentine?” Solas inquired.  
“I do, but I prefer Vale since it’s shorter and much more practical than shouting a three-syllable name across a battlefield if I ever get my head chopped off.”  
“Good image.” Solas groaned shaking his head.  
“Besides, this is my line of questioning, and I’m not done.” I shook my finger at the elf.  
“By all means.” Solas chuckled, gesturing for me to continue.  
“Have you always traveled and studied alone?” I inquired, waving my fingers over the grass, imagining it growing tall.  
“Not at all.” My gaze snapped up to meet his. “I have built many lasting friendships. Spirits of wisdom, possessed of ancient knowledge, are always happy to share what they have seen. Spirits of purpose helped my search, and even wisps, curious and playful, would point out treasures I might have missed.”  
“Wisdom and purpose?” I asked, the names barely ringing a bell. Usually when something did that, it was something the girl and I had talked about.  
“They rarely seek this world. When they do, their natures do not often survive exposure to the people they encounter. Wisdom and purpose are too easily twisted to pride and desire.”  
“Those are demons.” I said softly. “You became friends with demons?”  
“They were not demons for me.”

“Meaning?” I prodded.  
“The Fade reflects the minds of the living. If you expect a spirit of wisdom to be a pride demon, it will adapt. If your mind is free of corrupting influences, they can be fast friends.”  
“I’m impressed.” I admitted.  
“Anyone who can dream has the potential. Few ever try.” Solas stared off into the distance behind me. “My friends comforted me in my grief and shared my joy. Yet because they exist without form as we understand it, the Chantry declares that spirits are not truly people. Is Cassandra defined by her cheekbones and not her faith? Varric by his chest hair and not his wit?”  
“You have an interesting way of looking at the world, Solas.” I said, bringing a smile to his face.  
“I try…and that isn't quite an answer.” Solas pointed out.  
“I look forward to helping you make new friends.”  
“That should be…” Solas paused. “Well…”  
“That isn't quite an answer, either.” I stood up and stretched my hands toward the sky. I met Solas’ eyes as they stopped their roaming, and gave him a sweet smile.  
“This is fun. We should talk like this more.”  
“I would like that.” Solas nodded.  
“Especially since I have never met or seen a spirit.” I admitted. “You could tell me more about them.”  
“Never?” Solas asked.  
I shook my head. “I have only ever seen demons.”  
“You are very accepting of spirits for someone who has never seen them.” Solas stated.  
“There are good pieces to every bad situation.” I stared up at the bright pink tree that seemed to grow brighter and brighter with every word I said. “I would know that better than anyone.”

“I would like to get to know you better as well.” Solas admitted. “You have a rather… intricate and interesting past.”  
“That’s a nice way of saying confusing.” I mused. “Why do you want to know?”  
“You are a good piece to this bad situation.” Solas said, using my words.  
“Maybe one day you’ll get the answers you want.” I said, smiling up at the tree. “Once I figure it out for myself, of course.” I turned toward Solas as a question came to mind. “Would you consider me a ‘friend’?”  
“I do, yes.” Solas said. Somewhere in my rapidly beating heart, a piece of my carefully crafted wall split in half. For just a moment, I considered telling him everything. I wanted to tell this mortal… everything.

Not a mortal. This hero finally had a friend.


	8. Finding Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine finishes her quest in the Hinterlands and goes back home to Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the beginning seems too fast! I'm trying to get through Haven so I can begin the best parts of the plot.

”Herald!”

It was always something. I couldn't even eat without Cassandra shouting my name for some odd reason or another. I fought the glare as I watched the armored woman approach me, purpose in her steps.  
“Yes?” I asked expectantly.  
“Read this.” Cassandra stated, shoving a letter toward me. I cleared my throat and shoved the letter back at her.  
“Just tell me what it says.” I said.  
“The advisors say that we are to go to Val Royeaux.” Cassandra informed. “They want us to return to Haven first.”  
“Tell me we at least get a few days to relax. No saving anything, no fighting, just sleeping, eating and maybe friendly company.” I said wistfully.   
“I can not promise any of that.” Cassandra said, a little wistful herself. “I do know that for one night, at least, you will get to sleep in a bed.”  
“That sounds wonderful.” I sighed. 

In truth, Haven was starting to feel a little like home.

***

Here we were, poised to leave Dennet’s farm with the promise that he would send the Inquisition the horses it needed. Killing the dragon had reduced the legwork, and once we had sent out spare soldiers to mark locations for watchtowers, Dennet was like putty in our hands.

I was skeptical of horses. For one thing, I had not ever been around one while it was alive. I had eaten plenty of them, but be around them? I didn't even know how they would react to me.  
“Chestnut is a purebred Fereldan forder, like the rest of them.” Dennet assured, as if that was something that mattered to me. I leaned on the fence as the horse-master went into the pen and brought out Chestnut. She glowed in the early light with her freshly-groomed, golden brown coat. Her hooves thumped into the dirt mercilessly, and were accompanied by a pair of brown eyes that glared straight at me. She was riled up by me simply standing here.

This wasn't going to be good.

Dennet brought the horse over toward me, close enough for me to touch her. I raised my hand and let her sniff it. All it took was one good sniff, and Chestnut reared back toward the stables, pulling the rope out of her master’s hand in an attempt to get away from me.  
“I figured that would happen.” I said aloud. “Horses don’t really like me.”  
“She’s never acted like that.” Dennet admitted. “I apologize Herald.” He was embarrassed.   
“You know, that’s not something even you can control.” I joked. “I bet that if you were to come work for the Inquisition you could find something that wouldn't run away.”  
“I’ll take that bet.” Dennet said, shaking my outstretched hand.

The Inquisition finally had its first agent.  
Dennet left us to the horses, saying that he had to say goodbye to his wife and get things in order before he left. My companions seemed to not want to get on the horses.  
“By all means, don’t wait up for me.” I said, walking down the path. “Get on your noble steeds or else you won’t be able to keep up!” Moments later I had all three companions riding on their horses, but at a fare distance behind me. The beasts became fearful the closer they got to me.

“I wonder why they don’t like you.” Cassandra though aloud.  
“I have a bad sense of humor?” I suggested.  
“Maybe it’s because they sense madness?” Varric teased.  
“Oho the dwarf wants to say I’m mad!” I exclaimed. “I’m not the one who writes the bat-shit crazy stories.”  
“No, but I make money off of my madness.” Varric grinned. “You should consider it.”  
I huffed. “If I ever decide to tell my shitty life story then I will seek your advice.” A loud snort came from Cassandra, sending both Varric and I into laughing sprees while Solas clucked quietly from afar. They were my friends, all right.

“Over there.”  
I followed Cassandra’s eyes and found a small green crystal, like a mini rift. There were two tall demons sweeping their arms back and forth as they looked for something to prey on.  
“Shall we?” I asked, walking toward the rift.   
“Save some for us.” Varric said. I stopped at the edge of the rift, which hovered above a river. The two demons immediately sensed and began running toward me, completely ignoring Cassandra as she ran out in front. Why did they like me so much?

“I know I’m desirable but you could at least ask a girl to dinner before you come after her like this.” I snarked as I pulled out my staff. A smaller, more controlled, fireball exploded out onto the demons, sending on flying back into a rock while his friend floated down the river. “Honestly.”   
Cassandra jammed her sword into the stunned demon, which made the rift explode into a sickly green mess of magic. It smelled like burnt hair and had a strange cinnamon twist to it.  
I raised my hand and let the magic flow through, out, and into the rift. It gurgled before spitting out the final bit of magic and exploding out of existence. 

“That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.” Varric admitted.   
“That’s because the Herald and I did all the work.” Cassandra stated, wiping blood off of her glove.  
“Chuckles and I helped!” Varric argued.  
“More like cheered for us on the sidelines.” I teased.  
“Yeah, yeah, wait until Bianca saves your life.” Varric grumbled. I laughed wholeheartedly at the two men.

The scent of rain once again filled my nose—just like before the dragon attacked—which set my eyes on the sky. Blue expanse and a few stringy clouds were all I could see, but from how heavily I smelled the moisture, it was going to be a bad storm. I closed my eyes, letting my ears open and listen into the forest. Birds still sung, but their voices were softer, meaning that it would hit in a few hours.  
“There is a bad storm on its way.” I stated, looking back at my companions.  
“I think your nose is broken.” Varric said. “There isn't a cloud in the sky!”  
Despite my warning we pressed on—talking mostly small-talk—into the Frostback mountains, determined to get to Haven. Snow began to fall all around us, the small ice crystals winding through the air like they had pre-determined paths.

I shivered as I gazed up at the sky. A singular, massive cloud now spread over the, once blue, sky. The murky grayish-black brought on the sudden chill, along with the even more sudden snowfall. My nose twitched as the snow fell faster and faster, quilting the solid rock in a blanket of slick ice.  
We needed shelter.

An overhang on my left caught my eye. It was just big enough that the snow wouldn't fall on us, or the horses.  
“We need to get out of this!” I shouted as wind began to pick up. “Follow me!” They followed me without question toward and finally under the overhang as the snow piled into tall mounds. I wondered, briefly, if they would have followed me as readily if they knew what I truly was. 

The snow continued to fall and build a solid wall around the overhang. At this rate, it would completely cover and conceal us, which was something I wanted. Heat would remain in here, which meant we wouldn't freeze, and I could destroy the wall after the storm. I leaned against the tall stone wall and watched the snow fall, letting my mind wander as I did.  
I was still trying to decipher how I felt about being thrown into this mess. Honestly, I just wanted to go home, but I wasn't sure where that was. I wanted to talk to the girl, but she was dead. I wanted to be able to trust my father enough to at least tell him I was still alive, but I couldn’t. 

So much want and not a single one was logical.

“Hey Joker?”  
I glanced over at Varric. “Yes?”  
He sighed, his breath showing as a puffy cloud in front of his mouth. “Can you make this place warmer?”  
“That’s not what my magic is meant for.” I admitted. “I would kill all of you.”  
“I, however, can help in that regard.” Solas said, casting a small spell and making the room immediately warmer.

My head turned as the rock wall cracked angrily, like it was under pressure.  
I pressed my ear against the wall and gently knocked. The stone caved in, falling apart like a brittle cookie, and sending me straight onto a smooth stone floor. Dust kicked up all around me like a shield, and I laughed as I looked back at my companions. Three pairs of eyes were looking over me as if I were a porcelain doll that had just been knocked over. I lit the torch that sat on the far wall, and let the red light illuminate the stone.

The light unveiled a hallway of odd design with high arches and beautiful detail in the stonework. At a glance, it looked like Solas’ description of elven architecture.  
“Elven ruins.” Solas breathed, spooking me as he appeared on my left and reaffirming my thoughts that this was an elven ruin. I took a deep breath and began walking down the hall, my footsteps the only notable sound. The stillness of the ruin was astonishing…and disturbing. 

So this was the girl’s heritage.

“That such a place can still exist and never have been discovered.” I whispered, my voice echoing down the hall. I turned into a room that held three tall murals, all of which in excellent condition. I lit a violent flame in my hand, leaving Solas to continue exploring the hall.

The first mural on the farthest right was a man in blue robes standing next to a giant creature with the body of a cat, the head of a bird, and a snake for a tail. A griffin? The one on the farthest left was of a woman in a long black dress. Her eyes were nothing more than tight, thin slits that seemed to stare into you. Were those the sirens that father had spoken of? Women that lived in the sea and had their way with sailors, leading them to death?  
The middle was a man who wielded a long sword toward the creature that had the most detail. Its maw spilled orange and yellow flames that existed in perfect harmony with the bright, bloody crimson scales. I gasped, my flame going out as his green eyes pierced into me.  
My father. What was he doing in an elven mural? Something wasn't right.

Solas dashed into my room and, upon seeing that I was safe, lit another flame and stared up at the murals.  
“The ancient elves greatly respected these creatures, and only battled them when absolutely necessary.” Solas said, his gazed fixed upon the dragon. “Each mural shows an easy method of defeating the creature.”  
“You just fought a dragon then?” I inquired. “Weapons and magic? No special techniques?”  
“I am unsure.” Solas said, rubbing his forehead. “The image just shows a man holding a sword. What kind of sword is up for debate.”  
“Interesting.” I said, letting my voice sound in deep thought.  
“Very much so.” Solas agreed. “The ruins just end up ahead.”  
“Nothing worth noting?” I asked.  
“Nothing of note.” Solas said, his straight gaze hiding something. I trusted him, however, and knew that if it mattered, he would tell me.  
“Right then.” I said, walking out of the room. “I suppose we’ll wait out the storm and be on our way.” Out of the corner of my eye I watched him squeeze a clenched fist around something. Perhaps it was nothing.

***

“Val Royeaux this, Val Royeaux that! I just want to go to bed!”

I sighed softly as I flopped down on my bed. That storm had taken forever to subside. It was lucky that Rose had left earlier with a group of soldiers, or else she would have been caught by the dreaded thing as well. The girl greeted me as soon as I walked through the gates, eager to tell me all about her new apprenticeship with the resident alchemist, Adan. I had listened intently until I reached the Chantry gates, and then told her I had some business to take care of. She pouted, but upon my insistence that we would speak later she let me be.  
The advisors had spoken of the Chantry doing something—I didn't actually pay any attention—in Val Royeaux, and now I had to go speak with them about their support. Honestly, I didn't want their support. What kind of help could they bring if they were so negative about everything?

“Ms Herald?” Roses’ voice called. I sat up tiredly and opened the door. In came the excited little girl, a small ragged doll clutched in her hands.  
“Please call me Vale.” I said, giving her a smile. “Now, would you like to go get something to eat?” Rose nodded, her entire body shaking with the motion. I let her lead the way through Haven until the tavern, where I opened the door and guided her toward a table. A waitress nodded at me, saving me the breath of speaking.

“How do you like Haven?” I asked.  
“It’s cold.” Rose answered, looking over her doll.   
“Who got you the doll?”   
“Solas.” She said, pausing in-between syllables and struggling to say his name. I laughed lightly as the door opened and familiar footfalls entered.  
“Greetings.” Solas said. “Is this seat taken?”  
“Not at all.” Rose answered, scooting her chair over to make room for Solas.   
“I didn't know you knew how to sew.” I said toward Solas.  
“I had to mend my clothes somehow.” Solas said, making Rose giggle. He smiled at the young elf.

“Cassandra told me to tell you that we leave for Val Royeaux in the morning.” Solas informed. I groaned loudly and sat back in my chair. That woman couldn't let us catch a break, could she? The waitress brought around Rose and my food—a loaf of bread and two bowls of soup—and ran back to the kitchen to get Solas’. Rose dug in immediately. I laughed at how Rose acted like she had never seen food before in her life.

“Adan took you on as an apprentice?” I asked Rose. I dipped some bread in the hot soup and took a savoring bite as the waitress brought Solas his bowl.  
“I took him as a teacher.” Rose said between mouthfuls. “He didn't want an apprentice, so I started helping him bring in firewood, gather herbs, and watched him make potions. He agreed after a while.”  
“Well you definitely won’t be bored.” I said.  
“Not with Adan, she won’t.” Solas agreed. I glanced between the both of them as a flash of memory filled my eyes. Sitting around a table, laughter, smiling faces… The girl had told me about eating dinner with her family one night and she described it so much like this. She spoke of it fondly.  
Was this like that? I couldn't ask her now, not after…

I stood abruptly, pushing my bowl away and walking out of the tavern. A light snowfall had started up, raining the white powder down on everything. I walked at a brisk pace, my long-sleeved shirt doing its best to keep the cold off of me.

I ended up sitting at the end of the pier, staring out over the frozen pond. Rose eventually came and sat next to me. Warm hands lifted a thick cloak over my shoulders and sat down on my other side. I gave a pained smile as Solas followed my gaze out over the lake. Rose crawled underneath the cloak and laid her head against my arm.

“You thought of your sister, didn't you?” Rose asked. My throat tightened and I took a shaky breath, which was all the answer she needed.  
“My mom used to say that we need to think of the dead as they would prefer to be thought of.” Rose said, laying her hand on top of mine. “I remember my mother, even if it makes me sad.”  
Solas laid his hand on top of mine, his warm fingers caressing mine gently. It sent a tingling sensation all through my limb and into my chest. My wall gained another significant crack.

If I were to fall apart, these are the people I would hope put me back together.


	9. Wild Creatures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine and Solas talk about dragons and the fade.

This time I was prepared as the fade presented itself. 

I was sitting at the very edge of a mountain, looking out over the sand dunes and watching the sun set. Once again the violent colors reminded me of home, but the sunset was really what stole my attention. 

A massive red dragon stood at the base of the mountain beneath me. He watched out over the desert with a glaring gaze. Next to him stood a smaller, less fearsome, dragon with golden scales. I shuddered as I realized that was me. This must have been how imagined what the girl saw as she described seeing my father and I for the first time.  
“What an encounter!” Solas exclaimed from behind me, making me jump. “To see a dragon with its young out in a peaceful setting must have been quite the sight.”  
“It was.” I said quietly, watching the dragons stare out at the sunset in silence. A feral and his temper daughter, with only the spirit of a mother keeping them from tearing each other apart.  
Not the best of relationships.

“I do not believe I’ve seen such a beautiful scale color.” Solas said, sitting down beside me and watching the dragons. “The gold reflects the sunset.”  
“You really think she’s pretty?” I asked.  
“She?” Solas asked questioningly.   
I pointed out at the dragons. “The arch of her back is higher and her chest is slightly more forward and more pronounced.” Solas seemed impressed by my knowledge.  
“I do think her scale color is beautiful.” Solas nodded. “Wild creatures that are virtually untamable.”  
“Wild creatures.” I laughed dryly. “Is that what you think they are? Wild creatures that do not know what they do, do not think?”  
“Of course.” Solas admitted. “You think they are more than wild creatures?”

I looked down at the dragons. “Notice the way they stare at the sunset. Their gaze is unmoving, unchanged, but they recognize the sunset as something worth taking precious moments of life to look at instead of deciding where to hunt or sleep for the night. Let yourself look at the distance between them, and imagine that they are a father and daughter who are sharing a moment of peace in their hectic lives. The father has scars all over his side from a life of fighting, while the daughter is still scarless and naive about her world. Look at how she can barely stand still to enjoy a simple sunset.” I looked back at Solas, finding that he had his eyes on the dragons. “Her father knows the cruelty of the world, and you can see the harshness in his gaze.”

“An interesting thought, but they are still dragons.” Solas stated, opening his eyes. “Dragons fight with no thought about what they kill. They do not stare out at sunsets.”  
“Just as some people fight without any thought at all toward what meets the end of their blade.” I challenged. “Some people don’t stare out at sunsets either, but there are those who do.”  
“Are you telling me that not all dragons are like that?” Solas inquired.  
“I am proclaiming it.” I stood up and smiled down at my father. For just a moment, it looked like he had a grin.

I must have been seeing things.

“Where all have you studied?” I inquired, taking the subject off the dragons. “You said you traveled to many different places.”  
“This world, or its memory, is reflected in the fade. Dream in ancient ruins, and you may see a city lost to history.” Solas remained turned toward the dragons. “Some of my fondest memories were found in crumbling cities long picked dry by treasure seekers.”

“Which were the best?” I asked.  
“The battlefields.” Solas said. “Spirits press so tightly on the Veil that you can slip across with but a thought.”  
“Any place in particular?”  
“I dreamt at Ostagar.” Solas said, conjuring up images of a bloody battlefield littered with copses of darkspawn-demons and soldiers alike in my mind. “I witnessed the brutality of the darkspawn and the valor of the Fereldan warriors.” Solas paused. “I saw Alistair and the Hero of Fereldan light the signal fire… and Loghain’s infamous betrayal of Cailan’s forces.”  
“I’ve heard a few stories.” I admitted. “Do you really know what was it like?”  
“In the Fade, spirits react to the emotions of the warriors and create reflections. One moment, I see heroic Wardens lighting the fire and a power-mad villain sneering as he lets King Cailan fall. The next, I see an army overwhelmed and a veteran commander refusing to let more soldiers die in a lost cause.”  
“And you can’t tell what is real?” I asked.  
“It is the Fade.” Solas stated simply. “They are all real.”  
“Wow.” I breathed. For a long moment we just stared at the sunset and the dragons, taking in every detail of the scene. I could tell now that he looked at it differently.

“Do you think that when this is all over…” I trailed off, unsure if I wanted to pursue the thought.  
“Go on.” Solas urged gently.  
“That you would take me along with you on your journey!” I finally blurted out. “I would like to meet your spirit friends and dream at ruins and see the world with someone who could tell me its wonders.” I rambled.  
“Maybe.” Solas said. “I’m unsure where my journey will lead after we close the Breach.”  
“Wherever it leads, I hope we will see each other again.” I said.  
“I hope that as well.” Solas smiled. “Maybe in better circumstances.”  
“Oh, where I don’t have a mark on my hand.” I said, rotating my left wrist and glaring at the pale green mark.   
The sooner I could end this, the sooner I could travel around with Solas. The idea held an appeal that I could not describe, but it made me want to close the Breach that much sooner.


	10. Sapped Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine sums up her short trip to Val Royeaux and returns home only to have something happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know they're getting shorter, but I'm hitting high points until Skyhold. Once I get there the chapters will be longer and full of actual dialogue.  
> Right now Valentine is more concerned with the Breach than making friends.  
> Except for Solas, of course.

Val Royeaux was as charming as any high-class obsessed city.

The chalky blue and white building stretched into a multilevel city that was something akin to a three tiered cake. It certainly had the color and appeal of a cake, but what actually mattered was what the city itself was made up of.

The nobles began to scatter, running off in all directions to go do… whatever it was that nobles did. Cassandra and I had stood here in the middle of the square, absorbing each insult the Chantry threw at us. It got even worse when the templars—of all people—showed up at the Chantry’s behest and ended up making the clerics looks like complete fools. On top of that, they stormed out and destroyed any amount of thought I might have had about recruiting them. Perhaps there would have been good ones, but they would have been in minority.  
Being selfless wasn't as easy as I thought. I sprinted to the stage and tried to heal the cleric—who had been punched awfully hard by a templar and now lay on the ground. The poor lady was pale, and she held her head with both hands. She shoved my hand out of the way and gave a rude glare.

“I tried.” I admitted, rising to my feet. I offered a hand, which she turned away from and refused. Surely they didn't all feel that way? I walked away from the clerics, reliving every time I had tried to help the people and them reject it.

I jumped as the face of an elf appeared out of nowhere.  
“Grand Enchanter Fiona?” Cassandra asked.  
“No time to speak.” She said softly, her grey eyes flitting between the both of us. “Would you consider having the brightest mages in Thedas as a part of your Inquisition.”  
“You paint a pretty picture.” I admitted.  
“I do, don't I?” She laughed. “Come and see us in Redcliffe. Au revoir, my lady Herald.” What the hell was she doing her? I was so lost in thought that I barely had time to react as an arrow thumped into the ground beside me, displaying a message rolled around the base.  
The message spoke of three red ‘things’ scattered around Val Royeaux that would lead to something—someone important who didn't like me. I didn't really care, but I was curious as to who would go to all that trouble.

A little less that an hour of searching later I had found all the pieces of the puzzle. I followed the awfully drawn map to an open gate and a courtyard. I slowly walked into the open space, and barely dodged a fireball that was purposefully hurtled at my head.  
“The Herald of Andraste!” A man in noble clothes hissed, standing up straighter so as to appear more menacing. It didn't work, especially not with the funny-looking bronze mask he wore. “How much did you expend to find me? It must have weakened the Inquisition immeasurably.”  
“Am I supposed to know who you are?” I asked, very confused. He tossed another fireball, which I caught and held in my right hand. I raised an eyebrow, expecting an answer.  
“You don’t fool me.” He said, his voice almost a growl. “I’m too important for this to be an accident.” He glared at me. “My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere.” A loud thud hit the ground, taking both my, and the man’s attention, and putting it on a slender elf woman with cropped blonde hair and a fully drawn bow, ready to fire.

“Just say ‘what’.” She antagonized toward the noble.  
“What is the—.” He stopped, an arrow flying right into his face. The woman shook her head as she retrieved her arrow.  
“Squishy one, but you heard me right?” The elf asked. “Just say what? Rich tits always try for more than they deserve.” I rolled my eyes. Was she serious? “Blah blah blah. Obey me, arrow in my face!” She was serious. And Varric called me mad!  
“So, you followed the notes well enough, good to see you’re…” She frowned. “And you’re an elf.”  
“Is that a problem?” I asked.  
“I mean it’s all well and good, innit?” She asked quickly, trying to cover up her comment. “The important thing is that you glow.”  
“I what?”  
“You glow!” She exclaimed. “You’re the Herald-thingy.”  
“I guess.” I answered, the answer sounding more like a question. “Who the hell is he, and who the hell are you?”  
“No idea, my people just said he was bad news.” She answered.  
“Your people?” I inquired.  
“Yeah, people people. Name’s Sera, and that’s cover.” She pointed at a stack of crates. “Get round it. For the reinforcements. Don’t worry, someone tipped me their equipment shed.” Sera giggled. “They have no breeches.” I watched as three half-naked men ran into the courtyard, their bare, pale legs shining in the light. I sighed and waved my hand, telling my companions and Sera to stand down. The men raised their swords, but were obviously embarrassed.

I raised my arms and gestured at them. “Was all this worth it? To fight without pants?” They gave me long, hard looks. “I would be rather embarrassed, so go home to your families.” All three paused before speeding out of the courtyard, trying to hide themselves the entire way.

“That was boring.” Sera commented.  
“I do not take lives if they can be spared.” I said seriously.  
“Right, well, I want in.” Sera said. “On the Inquisition.”  
“Alright we need all the help we can get.” I sighed. “Head to Haven, we will meet you there soon.”  
“Alright Herald, this will be grand.” Sera assured, ducking out of the courtyard and taking the same way those men took. I surely hoped they didn't cross paths.  
I walked out of the courtyard through the other way, and was immediately bombarded by a tall man in green robes. His eyes shined.

“A letter for you.” He said, handing me yet another letter.  
“From who?” I asked.  
“Madam Vivienne de Fer. She requests that you attend her soiree this evening.” The man answered.  
This was turning out to be a long day.

***

“I’m just suggesting is all dear, no need to get so worked up.” A light, yet commanding voice stated. I stared back at the tall, dark-skinned woman, letting myself laugh internally at how ridiculous her clothes were. The collar fanned out too far, and the robes were far too expensive to wear for just anything. The fake horns she wore were so disappointing.  
“I told you no.” I said. “Now please leave me be.” 

We were finally back in Haven, and I had barely met the two recruits named Blackwall—an actual grey warden—and Iron Bull, who led a group of mercenaries. Already, Vivienne was trying to change something about me. Here we were, having this conversation in front of the tavern, where I was supposed to meet Rose for dinner—like I did every night.

“All over Orlais they hear of the dragon you killed with a snap of your fingers.” Vivienne said, snapping her fingers for emphasis. “I suggest that you wear a cloak made of dragon scales, to show them that you are the dragon lady they think you are. Or maybe you could do something with that hair so it doesn't look so… so…”  
“I said no!” I shouted, my voice causing silence everywhere nearby. “I recruited you to help, not to change me.”  
“I’m not trying to change you, dear. Just to make you more impressive.” Vivienne explained.

I sighed. “Where I come from, actions speak louder than what title you have, what you have done, or what your family did. I’m letting my actions speak, not my hair or my clothes.” I paused. “If you were just suggesting, you would have left me alone after the first time you asked. All you see me as is a lost girl that you can ‘fix’ and take the credit for doing so. Find someone else to make your pet project.” I said, walking into the tavern. That woman was beyond annoying.  
“Your words are inspiring.” Solas admitted from our table. He was sitting next to Rose, who already had food stuffed in her mouth.  
“I am sorry for being late.” I apologized.  
“It’s alright Vale.” Rose said. “Sit down and eat. Solas got your food already.”  
“Thank you lethallin.” I said, my elvish surprising and putting a smile on his face. “Don’t ask how much more I know, that’s the literal extent of my knowledge.”

A solider quickly opened the door over the tavern. His eyes met mine. “Herald! Cassandra requests your presence immediately.”  
“Damn it!” I slammed my hands on the table. “I just sat down!” I moved my hands, finding that two handprints burnt into the wooden table. I rose up and smiled down at Rose.  
“Excuse me, my lady, it seems that something requires my attention yet again.” I said through my smile. I walked out of the tavern and toward the Chantry, my feet dragging every step of the way. I knew what conversation we were about to have.

Mages or templars?

The mages had been the only party to reach out to us, so I assumed I would go with them. I knew that would upset Cullen and definitely Cassandra.  
My stomach growled defiantly, telling me to ignore the message and go back for the food. That was the second day in a row my meal had been cut short. I continued through the snow, my breathing growing heavy. I felt lightheaded and weak, like these people were slowly sapping away my strength.

I finally made into to the war room and suddenly wondered if it was really worth it. My arrival had interrupted an argument.  
“Herald.” Cassandra addressed, turning away from Leliana.  
“I assume that you interrupted my dinner for a good reason?” I inquired, my voice sounding annoyed and exhausted. I hoped they felt bad.  
“We cannot agree amongst ourselves, so we hope that you can make the decision.” Josephine said. I slapped a hand against my face and sighed exhaustedly.  
“Can this wait?” I asked.  
“No.” Cassandra answered.

I glared at the woman. “Then we will go see what the mages have to offer us.” I turned, moving to walk out of the door. “If you leave tomorrow I will be a day’s ride behind you.” I walked out of the Chantry, glad that the situation was dealt with. At least, I thought it was.  
“Vale!” Solas called. I turned, smiling as my friend ran through the snow and stopped next to me. I swayed dangerously, falling into the snow as black spots swam in my vision. Everything was happening so fast. Was I dying?  
My eyes closed slowly, the last thing they saw was Solas with a painfully worried expression. 

That hurt more than any pain I could endure.


	11. The Difference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine goes off to Redcliffe to meet with the mages.

”You’ve been working her to death! Ordering her around and not letting her rest!”

I rolled around on my bed and found that the alchemist, Adan, was standing inside my cabin and yelling at someone through the door. Solas was sitting next to my bed and watching the man carefully. What had happened?

“Solas.” I whispered softly, my voice hoarse. His eyes locked with mine and he immediately took something off of the nearby table. He practically shoved a glass of water in my face. I drank, draining the entire glass in seconds.  
“Eat.” Solas said, more like a command. I took the bread and slowly began to eat, finding that I was a lot more hungry than I seemed. It was gone in moments.  
Bread didn't hit the spot like meat.

“What’s going on?” I asked. Adan turned around, leaning against the door.  
“Herald, you’ve been overworked.” Adan said straightly in his gruff voice. His narrow brown eyes evaluated me carefully. “You cannot do everything they tell you to. You have to have a spine.”  
“The problem isn't her will.” Solas corrected. “It’s simply that she wants this to be over with.”  
“Thank you for answering for me.” I said sarcastically. “I’m in such an awful state that I can’t do it myself.”  
“You scared me.” Solas said seriously. “Lethallan you fell, and have been out cold for a few hours.”  
“I apologize.” I said quietly. Solas stared at the ground, saying nothing. Had I really scared him?  
“You are the only one who can fix this. You can’t just fall right before fixing it.” He muttered. Here I thought he actually cared. He must have only cared about that damn hole in the sky. I swung my legs out and rose up on steady legs. I felt better, albeit weak, and all I wanted to do was leave.

“Open the door.” I said to Adan, brushing past Solas and blocking him out. I had a job to do, didn't I? He did as I asked, letting the door fly open and reveal an angry Cassandra. I gave her a glare made of daggers.  
“I am leaving now.” I said, walking past her. “I am going to Redcliffe.”  
“Vale you are not well.” Solas shouted from behind me. I stopped, in the middle of Haven and in front of everyone.  
“Well shit, I guess that doesn't mean anything anymore.” I shouted. I turned around and glared so fiercely it made Solas flinch. “I can be ‘not well’ but when it comes down to it I have a job to do. The sooner I can get it done, the sooner I can be through with assholes like all of you and go back to my own sad, miserable existence!” They were silent, so I continued. “At least then I’ll be somewhat happy.”

I stormed out of Haven and toward the stables. The horses seemed to notice that I was in a volatile mood, but one of them didn't keep their distance. I stared at the horse, challenging it. It shrank away, renewing my hot anger. I took my staff from the wall by the blacksmith and began on my way toward Redcliffe. 

It would be easier if I went alone. 

***

Soft, gentle snow fell and settled on my chilled skin as I walked. I wore nothing but a thick wool shirt and pants, which did barely anything against the cold. The fire in my veins would keep me from freezing, at the very least. 

I should have known. Solas being my friend was just too good to be true. The only one who wasn't a complete asshole was Rose.  
Sweet Rose. I shivered as she crossed my mind. Maybe it would have been better if I had found her a home in the Crossroads. At least then she wouldn't have to deal with this along with the rest of us. Maybe she would have either way. 

Thundering hooves echoed behind me. I turned, finding a figure riding out toward me. My frozen body ran out of the road and I jumped up into a nearby tree, glad for the moment that my wool shirt was a light grayish color. I laid flush against the tree, practically invisible.  
The rider bring the horse to a quick stop right in front of me, making the poor creature’s hooves slide across the icy path.  
The rider slid off gracefully and squatted down on the path. Was the rider looking for my footprints? The horse snorted, noticing my presence. It shifted toward the opposite end of the road. The rider looked up, the wind blowing of his hood. Solas searched the side of the road—looking a little desperate—and finally ventured into the snowy forest. I watched him silently as he stepped through the snow banks, his stormy eyes searching. 

Had he come after me?

“I know you’re here.” Solas said loudly.  
“Why did you come?” I said softly, not expecting nor wanting him to hear me. He did, and turned in my direction.  
“Please come back.” Solas said. “Cassandra is as worried as I’ve ever seen her.” A low growl echoed through the forest, bringing with it a musky smelling wind. I dropped down from my tree silently as Solas looked in the direction of the growl. 

A white figure wandered through the forest, towering above Solas and meandering through the trees. It was ghostly, and had strange markings all over its face. Its shape shifted as it moved, producing fuzzy looking feet and hands that were uncovered and hovering just above the snow. I had no idea what that creature was. It moved toward Solas, raising its hand. He was still looking around. Could he not see it?

I moved, jumping out in front of Solas. The creature’s long fingernails cut through my cheek, leaving thick lines of red. Blood cascaded down my face like a waterfall as I dropped my staff and shoved the thing back with a quick explosion. It flew back into a tree, giving me a glare as it shook its head and righted itself. The creature had the face of a woman, but its eyes were thin, tight slits. She moved, sending a shockwave toward me, hitting me square in the chest.  
I slammed back into the tree, grunting on impact. Solas was fiddling with a pocket in his tunic, trying to take something out. He payed the creature no mind as she approached me. I raised my hands, blocking her attacks. The scratches stung and itched.  
I thrust a kick into her abdomen, sending her flying back right where I wanted her. I raised my hands to cast the spell to end her.

“Wait!”

I paused at Solas’ voice, and my eyes widened when he stepped out in front of me. Now he could see that thing? The creature glared at Solas, beginning a sort of staring contest. I moved out, stopping as I saw something around Solas’ throat.  
It was a curious necklace with a thin chain and a large, thumb-sized, marble strung on it. The marble was a pure white with a thin greenish blue strand in the middle. The entire thing was cloudy, like it had spent many years without a neck to be displayed on. It sat boldly on his chest, and seemed to have very little effect on the creature.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “Move!”  
“You cannot kill it with any regular magic.” Solas argued. I scoffed and pushed him back out of the way, raised my hand, and snapped my fingers. The creature exploded in a bright red fire, and, after a few seconds, there was nothing left.  
“How did you…” Solas trailed off. I picked my staff up out of the snow and walked back toward the road, giving him time to reset his mind. 

Couldn't be killed with magic my ass.

I continued on my way down the road, even when Solas burst out of the woods. “How did you do that?”  
I turned, giving him a pretty smile. “I cast my magic the same way you do.”  
“That creature was a minor lich.” Solas said exasperatedly. “They aren't supposed to succumb to normal magic, and no mortal creature can see them!”  
“Are you suggesting that I have lied to you about what I am?” I inquired, gesturing down at my body. “I am an elf, just like you.”  
“You could see that creature.” Solas stated. “How?”  
I laughed. “I don’t know which is funnier: that you think I’m lying, or that I’m all-knowing.”  
“What about your magic?” Solas asked, getting angrier at my question-evading.  
I bit my tongue. I had to be extremely careful how I went about this. “Who said my magic was normal?”  
“I’ve noticed.” Solas huffed. “Why?”  
“Nice necklace.” I said, deflecting the question. “It looks old. I wonder if it’s that thing you got from the ruins.”  
“I do not know what you mean.” Solas defended.  
“I am not the idiot you believe I am.” I said through clenched teeth. “You damn mortals and your petty ways, thinking you’re the only ones that saves lives.”  
“Mortals?” Solas questioned. I froze. I had done it this time. How would I get out of this?  
“After so long on your own you eventually feel above everyone else. Almost like you know more than they do.” I said calmly. “I am certain you know of what I speak.”  
I turned, giving him the time to think. I had given him a few clues, but I didn't feel afraid of him finding out. Maybe it would be better that we. He could put the pieces together long after I was gone.

The soft thump of hooves in snow followed after me despite the conversation. I half expected him to return to Haven.  
“You are a mystery.” Solas admitted, a laugh hiding behind his words.  
“And you are still following me.” I marveled.  
“That’s what friends do.” Solas said. “Forgive, and forget.” My breath froze in my throat as the first grain of hope I had in a long time landed in my heart. The girl had considered herself my friend… my sister even. 

Did that mean that she could forgive…. and forget?

***

We soon arrived in Redcliffe, finding that town was under attack by a rift at the gate.

Iron Bull and Varric had followed after Solas and I. We had all met up sometime during the trip, which led to the same difficult small talks that I was forced to go through before. I supposed that was just something you had to get used to.  
“We have to fight that thing?” Iron Bull asked, his thundering voice almost as loud as the real thing. He towered far above me, and he was certainly more intimidating than any other member of the Inquisition—except for Leliana, of course. Dark grey skin stretched over his massive pectoral muscles, and his horns reminded me of a dragon’s, if a dragon’s horns went straight up toward the sky like lightning rods.

“Yes we do.” I answered, leaning on my staff as the rift began to bubble. It spewed a nasty green magic as four demons popped out. There was something odd about the way they moved, but I didn't know quite what it was, nor did I know what the odd feeling that came out of the rift was about.  
Two were up in flames before they noticed us. I dusted my hands off and gestured for the wide-eyed Iron Bull to enter battle. The remaining two were taken out by bolts, magic, and might alike. I shook my head as the odd feeling dissipated.

“Boss that was….” Iron Bull paused.  
“So do I have to call you the Iron Bull?” I asked as the gates opened. “Or can I just call you Bull? You know, if I’m in trouble and someone chopped off my limb I’m not going to sit there and scream ‘The Iron Bull’.”  
He laughed loudly. “Bull will be fine.”  
“Right then.” I said. “You may call me Vale, so if I’m in hiding you won’t have to worry about calling me ‘Herald’ out of habit.”  
“We’re going to be friends.” Bull said. “I can feel it already.”  
“I feel like I’m ready to get the bullshit over with.” I said.  
“Sounds like someone is in a mood.” Varric commented, wiping blood off of one of his bolts. “Was it Vivienne?”  
“That woman is detrimental to my health.” I grumbled as I walked through the gate. “Honestly, why would I want to wear dragon-scales? If I said ‘no’ an hour ago, why does she still pester me?”  
“Wearing dragon-scales is a badge of honor among dragon-slayers.” Solas informed. I fought the urge to gag. 

Symbol of honor? For me, it would have been the equivalent of wearing skin from a mortal as a cape.  
Not a pretty sight.

“Herald!”  
I glanced up to find a scout running toward me. He stopped and put his fist over his heart—a sign of respect.  
“The mages are expecting us?” I asking, the question more like a statement. The scout shook his head.  
“No one here was expecting you at all.” The scout said. I nodded at him, and he took it as a ‘go back into the town and spy some more’ nod.  
“The Herald of Andraste!” I fought the urge to groan at the title as a elf in robes came forward. He was a mage, from what I saw of the staff he had with him.  
“I bring greetings.” He said, bowing his head. “My name is Lysas.”  
“Grand Enchanter Fiona invited us.” I stated. “May we speak with her?”  
“Magister Alexius is in charge, but you can meet with Fiona in the meantime.” Lysas said, completely ignoring me. I glanced back at my companions, finding that they were just as, if not more, confused as I was.

We followed Lysas to the local tavern called the Gull and Lantern. Inside it was much too crowded for me. Mages and locals alike crowded in for drink, conversation, or simply to chat. The mix of smells was nauseating. I was lightheaded by the time Lysas led us to a separate room. The same elf from Val Royeaux stood in its center, surprise etched into her face.  
“Herald.” Fiona addressed calmly. “I wasn't expecting to see you here.”  
“You were in Val Royeuax.” I said shortly, barely hiding my temper. “You invited us to come down here. I traveled here for the mages.”  
“You’re too late. The mages have pledged their service to the Tevinter Imperium.” Fiona informed. “As one indentured to a magister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you.” Just kept getting better, didn't it?  
“Then tell me who does.” I said, a touch of anger in my voice.  
A tall man with sharp, pointy clothes and ragged black hair entered the room as my words left my mouth. He was paled slightly, and his narrowed eyes immediately locked on me. A younger man stepped out behind him, much paler and sicker looking than the first.

“What the hell is it going to take for me to get the mages?” I asked loudly. “You’re Magister Alexius aren't you?”  
He nodded. “What are you willing to give?”  
“Well I’m trying to close a hole in the sky.” I said, pointing up at the ceiling. “I can’t match a price you don’t set.”  
The man next to him coughed suddenly, stumbling toward me. His hand brushed mine, and my fingers gripped tightly onto the note as Alexius rushed to the man’s aid.  
“Negotiations are over.” He said gruffly. Negotiations?! Fiona showed us out of the room and back outside of the tavern.  
I turned to my companions and put a hand against my forehead.

“What. Just. Happened?!” I asked, running my mind through the situation again. I unfolded the note and handed it to Varric.  
“Herald, you must go to the Chantry.” Varric read out loud in a bored voice.  
“Freaky.” Bull commented. “Do you think it could be a trap?” I looked up the hill toward the Chantry and shrugged my shoulders.  
“As long as they don’t try to convert me.” I said. “Let’s go.” 

The Chantry was a rather small, one-roomed building. I opened the door and ducked as green magic flew out violently. There was a mage in the middle of the room, fending off a demon. A rift hovered at the front of the Chantry, twisting and turning in its gooey magical mess.

“Good! You’re finally here!” The mage exclaimed as he took down the demon. He was a tall man with darker skin and neat black hair. I allowed myself a few seconds to stare at his curly mustache.  
The rift spewed once more, sending out an armada of five demons. Once again, the same odd feeling from before came over me. Two of them, just like before, went up in ash. I set the other three on fire—lightly on fire—and let my companions have at them. I raised my hand, and the rift exploded out of existence.

“Fascinating. How does that work, exactly?” He inquired toward me. “And you were the one who turned those demons to ash, weren't you?” I gave him a blank stare which made him chuckle. “You don’t even know how it works, do you? Just wiggle your fingers, and boom! Rift closed!”  
I was liking this guy already.  
“Yes, the magic is mine.” I admitted. “Who are you?”  
“Ah, getting ahead of myself again, I see. Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?”  
“Is that a serious question or a space filler?” I asked.  
“Watch yourself.” Bull warned. “The pretty ones are always the worst.”  
“Suspicious friends you have here.” Dorian said. “Magister Alexius was once my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable—as I’m sure you can imagine.”  
“You’re the one who sent the note then.” I stated.  
“I am.” Dorian admitted. “Someone had to warn you, after all. You must know there’s danger. That should be obvious, even without the note.” Dorian paused. “Let’s start with Alexius claiming the allegiance o the mages rebels our from under you. As if by magic, yes? Which is exactly right. To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself.”  
“That’s…. Well…” I paused. “I hate saying it, but that is rather impressive.”  
“Admittedly, it is.” Dorian agreed. “The rift you closed here? That odd feeling was the twisting of time itself.”  
“So I wasn't the only one who felt that.” I said, relieved.  
“Soon, there will be more like it, and they’ll appear further and further away from Redcliffe.” Dorian stated. “The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it’s unraveling the world.”  
“That’s a lot to take in at once, let me catch a breather right quick.” I said, putting a hand over my forehead. “You’re asking a lot by me accepting this.”  
“I know what I’m talking about. I helped develop this magic.” Dorian admitted. “When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work. What I don’t understand is why he’s doing it. Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?”

“He didn't do it for them.” The young man that had slipped me the note walked through the Chantry doors and over toward Dorian.  
“Took you long enough.” Dorian said. “Is he getting suspicious?”  
“No, but I shouldn't have played the illness card. I thought he would be fussing over me all day.” The man turned to me. “My father’s joined a cult. Tevinter supremacists. They call themselves ‘Venatori’. And I can tell you one thing: whatever he’s done for them, he’s done it to get to you.”  
“I’m flattered.” I said dryly. “All this for me? And here I didn't get Alexius anything.”  
“Send him a fruit basket. Everyone loves those.” Dorian suggested. “You know you’re his target. Expecting the trap is the first step in turning it to your advantage. I can’t save Redcliffe. Alexius doesn't know I’m here, and I want to keep it that way for now. But whenever you’re ready to deal with him, I want to be there. I’ll be in touch.” Dorian turned to walk out of the Chantry. I sighs loudly as I turned to follow.  
“What do you guys think?” I asked.  
“If it is time magic, then we have to stop Alexius.” Solas stated. “That magic can only do more harm from here.”  
“But he’s a Vint.” Bull argued.  
“So?” I asked. “Saying he is a bad tevinter is like saying you’re a bad Ben-Hassrath.”  
“I…” Bull stopped. “Fine.”  
“If you judge someone by something like heritage then how will you ever make friends Bull?” I asked jokingly.  
“I make friends through drinking and knowing that they come from a place that isn't as bad as Tevinter.” Bull said. I gave him a curious look.

“I’m making an executive decision as the Herald of Andraste.” I stated suddenly. “Varric, would you please write to my advisors that we are planning on going after the mages?”  
“Why can’t you do it?” Varric grumbled. “You never write your own letters.”  
“Well… I don’t want to.” I said lamely.  
“Too busy Joker? Can’t trouble yourself with the mundane things in life, like writing?” Varric asked.

“Well if you want to know so damn bad, I can’t.” I said angrily.  
“Can’t what?” Solas asked.  
“I can’t write and I can barely read.” I stated. “Happy now?”  
“That’s why you always ask us to tell you what letters say.” Varric said in understanding. “You know, that’s not something to be ashamed about. A lot of people can’t read or write.”  
“Not those who the world depends on.” I said softly. “If I were to go out there now, without anyone knowing who I am, they would think I’m an illiterate elven savage.” I walked toward the Chantry doors. “It’s not like I haven't been called that before.”


	12. Elizabeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine finds Elizabeth in Redcliffe.

The town of Redcliffe was alive and bustling at this time of the day.

My companions and I had decided to stick around and rest up while waiting for the ‘big plan’ from the advisors. I was sitting next to the main path, watching the villagers go about their day.   
It must have been nice, to know where you were meant to be, go, do, and have in life. I didn't have that luxury. 

“Did you see that woman?” One of the villagers whispered. I ignored her until her companion answered.  
“The lady with that purple skin? Yeah I saw her.” The man whispered back. “Did you hear the name of that girl she was searching for?”  
“Aurum or something like that. Odd name.” The woman answered. Could they have seen her?

Elizabeth? Had she been here? I rose up quickly and walked toward the two with purpose driving my heels.  
That spirit that had kept my father and I from tearing out each other’s throats. I named her after my mother, and so she took my mother’s personality and became the caretaker of my feral father, and me, the temper daughter.  
At the very least, I had to thank her. At the most, I had to keep her from snapping what little existence I had managed in half.

“Excuse me.” I said to the two villagers. “I can’t help but overhear that you spoke with a strange lavender woman.”  
“Ah, that was the color I was looking for!” The man exclaimed. “Pardon me, but how do you know her exact skin tone?”  
“I’m looking for her.” I answered truthfully. “And she’s looking for me.”  
“You’re Aurum?” The woman asked.  
It would be faster. I nodded. “I changed my name. Do you know where she went?”  
“She’s around here somewhere.” The woman answered. “Wasn't but a few hours ago that I saw her.” Elizabeth. She was here. 

I was so close.

“Thank you.” I gave them thankful smiles. She was here!   
The spirit of my mother was here!  
“Vale?” Solas asked as I walked back over to my spot. I gave him a long stare.  
“My spirit friend, did you ever try to contact her through the fade?” I inquired.  
Solas was caught off guard. “Well… I..”  
“Answer the damn question!” I said, loosing more of my nerve. She was here. If she was here, then how much could she tell about me? She loved to talk, just like my mother.  
I had to get to her before she ruined everything. If she called me by that name… If she let anything slip…  
“I did, but she was nowhere to be found.” Solas answered, giving me a worried look. “Vale? You look pale. Are you okay?”  
Too many questions. Too much… I needed to find her. 

I turned away from Solas and began walking through the city. She was here somewhere, I knew it, but where? Where would she have gone? Where would mother have gone?  
I stopped next to some stairs that led down into the harbor.

Mother loved the sea.  
Sure enough, there she was.

Amid the sun that sat high in its blue throne, the waves that crashed against the ships in harbor, and as the smell of salt rose high in the air; she stood. There was a peace to her quiet gaze that lingered over the dark blue waves, frothing at the edge of civilization. They reflected back into those calm blue eyes of hers. The wind pushed at her long, tamed hair, forcing it back out of her face. Those locks would have been white, if not for the lavender tint that coated her body like paint. Her skin was that same sweet lilac as it had been when I was a small dragonling shortly after my mother died.

She was the exact same.  
“Elizabeth.” I said aloud, drawing her attention on me. Her eyes would have watered if she had been able to cry.  
“Aurum.” She whispered, her voice barely hearable at all. I ran toward her, launching myself at her small form and landing right in her arms.  
“It is so good to see you.” She said in her humming voice. Instead of one singular voice, hers was made up of many, one of them being my mother’s. That one stood out the most to me.  
“Elizabeth.” Was all my constricted throat could manage. We stood there like that for a long while, just letting the sun shine overhead and the wind tangle our hair.

“You’ve made friends.” She said, looking back at the stairs I had stood on. I glanced up there, finding Solas with a gentle smile on his face.  
I cleared my throat and gazed back up at Elizabeth. She looked so heartbreakingly much like my mother, if my mother had been a human. “You can’t tell anyone my real name. You can’t tell anyone anything about me, save that you knew me when I lived with my father and that you can’t talk about it because I forbade it.”  
“Why, Aurum?” She asked softly.  
“They will kill me if they find out.” I said urgently. “My name here is Valentine.”  
“As you say… Valentine.” Elizabeth said, her eyes falling. 

“It is so good to see you.” I said, squeezing her tighter in my arms.   
“As it is to see you.” Elizabeth answered. “Now, will you introduce me to your handsome mate?”  
I blushed vibrantly. “That is not my mate, Elizabeth. He is my friend.”  
“I see lines between you too.” She smiled. “They grow stronger yet.” I ignored her as I released her from my imprisoning hug and led her over to Solas. He smiled brightly at her.  
“It is good to finally meet you.” Solas said, bowing his head. “Vale speaks highly of you.”  
“She talks of her past often then?” Elizabeth inquired, giving me a teasing glance. She was too much like my mother for comfort.  
“Rarely.” Solas admitted, a little disappointed. “Though she never mentioned that you are a spirit of love.”  
I stared at Elizabeth for a long while, my mouth hanging open. Now everything made sense. “I never knew that.”  
“You never asked.” She returned.

“I hate to impose on the reunion, but it is dangerous to be out of the fade this close to the Breach.” Solas informed.   
Elizabeth nodded. “I know, but I had to come all this way to make sure you were alright. Your father was in uproar. Literally.”  
“I know.”  
“His temper is so much better without you there, but at the slightest mention of your name he turns to it as an escape.” Elizabeth continued.  
“I know.”  
“And then he heard that you became something of a martyr among the mortals, to which he was very angry.”  
“I know.”  
“He thought you were dead, which made him angry. That temper of his is an escape, you know.”  
“I know.”  
Elizabeth smiled. “I hate to leave so early, but I am weakening. I must return.”  
“I know.” I said sadly, for the final time. 

Elizabeth smiled at Solas. “It was nice to meet you Solas. Valentine can be quite the handful, so I’m asking that you be patient.”  
“I’m right here.” I said looking between the two.  
“She can be mean, sarcastic, and get angry at the smallest things, but she honestly wants to help.” Elizabeth continued. “Please don’t let her go so far as to die trying.”  
“I will keep her safe.” Solas promised. Elizabeth waved farewell as her form slowly faded, and then vanished altogether. The happy smile that she had on her face was still stuck in my mind.   
She had been looking for me after I told her to stay behind with my father. I wondered why she would come all this way to find me, and why she didn't contact me through dreams. Perhaps it had something to do with that massive hole in the sky?

“What a curious spirit.” Solas mused.   
“Curious.” I huffed. “More like a pain in the ass.”   
“You say that, but from the way you leapt into her arms I think you love her all the same.” Solas stated. “She is a unique spirit.”  
I smiled. “She took the appearance and personality of my mother, and watches over my father for me.”  
“Interesting.” Solas hummed.

“I get them confused.” I admitted softly, gazing out at the water. I couldn't see it like she did. “Sometimes I will call Elizabeth ‘mother’ and other times it’s simply Elizabeth. I lost my mother when I was very young, and so my best memories of her are blurry.” I sighed softly, letting the familiar feelings wash over me. Grief was something I had gotten through, but its scars still lingered.  
“It’s not something to be ashamed about.” Solas stated.  
“Who said I was ashamed?” I asked, looking at my friend. “I am not ashamed of being special enough that a spirit of love came from her home and became my mother. That is something that I can live the rest of my life with, and have pride over it.” I looked down at my clenched fist. “I can die tomorrow, and there will have been nothing to be ashamed about.”  
Solas gently laid his fingers over my clenched fist. They wove their way in-between mine and slowly peeled my fingers away from my palm.

“Relax, lethallan.” Solas said quietly.  
“Because it’s just that simple.” I huffed. “I am not allowed to relax until this is over.”

Not until I know that I can close that damned hole in the sky, and know that Elizabeth will be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were confused the entire time:
> 
> Elizabeth is the name Valentine's mother wanted to have, but never got since she was a dragon. When her mother died, a spirit of love made its way to the daughter and father pair and took on the personality and looks of the dead dragon. Valentine calls her Elizabeth, but often gets her real mother and the spirit confused since both went and came (perspectively) early on in her life.  
> Boom!
> 
> (In case you were wondering I got a little confused myself.)
> 
> Aurum is latin for gold, by the way.


	13. Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine goes into the future with Dorian.

I gasped as I landed—feet first—on the stone floor and felt the thick water puddle in my boots. The sharp scent of blood filled my nose as the room became clearer and clearer as my eyes adjusted to the dark. Tall stones walls led the way to a wrought iron cell door, which was guarded by two men. They raised their weapons, and were immediately incinerated by my magic.

It had been so simple.

The advisors had written back shortly after Elizabeth departed for the fade. Leliana was the one who wrote it, and, according to Varric, said that her spies in the area were to infiltrate the castle—where Alexius was hiding—to watch over and keep me safe during these ‘negotiations’ I was supposed to be having.  
All three of my companions would be there with me, as well as Dorian.

Long story short, the entire thing was a trap. 

He had soldiers along the sides of the room, but they didn't frighten me in the slightest. Leliana’s spies filed into the room and managed to take them all out before Alexius could give the order.  
In retaliation, he pulled an amulet out of his pocket, which produced a massive vortex that sucked both Dorian and I into its murky abyss.  
Now, we were here.

“Stolen mark?” I asked Dorian in confusion as I looked at my glowing palm. That was what Alexius had called it.  
“I’m unsure what he meant besides that it is a ‘stolen mark’. That implies that you stole it from someone, and that you aren't meant to have it.” Dorian explained.  
“Alright smart-ass.” I fumed. “What now?”

“Displacement. Interesting.” Dorian muttered. “It’s probably not what Alexius intended. The rift must have moved us… to what? The closest confluence of arcane energy?”  
“Please explain that in my language.” I pleaded. Where was Solas when you needed him? He could dumb it down enough for me. “The last thing I remember, we were in the castle hall.”  
“Let’s see. If we’re still in the castle, it isn't… Oh! Of course! It’s not simply where, it’s when!” Dorian exclaimed.  
“You’re joking.” I said, my voice hopeless.  
“Alexius used the amulet as a focus. It moved us through time!”  
He wasn't joking.  
“Did we go forward, back, I—I mean, where are we?” I asked.   
“When.” Dorian corrected.  
“Okay smart-ass, when are we?” I asked angrily.  
“We’ll have to find out, won't we?” Dorian said lightly. The things I had to do to be selfless. This was not what I had in mind.

“Alexius mentioned an ‘Elder One’ in the hall.” I said, my mind flashing back. “Do you know what he meant?”  
“Leader of the Venatori, I suspect. Some Magister aspiring to godhood.” Dorian explained.  
“Idiot.” I muttered as I walked toward the door. I had incinerated both guards, which meant that if they had a key, it was probably melted and no good. I laid a finger on the wrought iron, and watched the cold metal melt beneath my skin. The iron door popped open, the creaking the only sound in the silent room.

We traveled through the halls in silence, mostly because I was still coming to terms with traveling through time. A low, thundering voice brought me out of my thoughts.   
Could that be?

“Three hundred bottles of beer on the wall, three hundred bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around…” I rounded a corner and stopped in front of a cell. There inside was the Iron Bull, singing wretchedly to no one and nothing while his red, glazed over eyes stared into the opposite wall.  
“You’re not dead?” Bull asked in surprise. His tone darkened. “You’re supposed to be dead.”  
“Hello to you to asshole.” I said blankly.   
“It’s really you!” Bull exclaimed.  
“Alexius didn't kill us. His spells sent us through time. We aren't sure how far.” Dorian explained.  
“One year.” Bull gritted his teeth. “I watched you disappear into that rift one year ago. I didn't know you well enough to be sad, but I do know that hell ensued after.”  
“What happened?” I asked.

“You died. The world went to shit. The Elder One reigns over everything.” Bull said. “I’m just here.”  
“I’m just as dead as you.” I stated.  
Bull groaned. “Now dead, and not dead are up for debate.”  
“That conversation has turned to the moronic. Just come with us, we’re going to fight Alexius.” Dorian said.  
“Why? You want to see what other tricks he’s learned?” Bull asked dryly.  
If we find him, we might be able to get back to our own time and stop all this before it happens.” Dorian explained through clenched teeth. “Exciting, yes?”  
“Alexius isn't the one you need to worry about. It’s his ‘Elder One’.” Bull said. “He killed the Empress of Orlais, and used the confusion to launch an invasion of the South. The army was all demons. You ever fought a demon army? I don't recommend it.”  
“Sounds like a blast.” I said jokingly. “Didn't save any for me?”  
“This isn't a joke.” Bull said seriously. “People died.”  
My eyes fell. “I am sorry.”  
“This isn't real to you, but it is real to me.” Bull said. “Let’s go. No time like the present.”

I hung my head in shame as we traveled down the next hall and through a door. Bull managed to keep up, but he huffed and puffed like he hadn't done any running in a while. I pushed open another door and paused as I heard humming. I looked over to my right, finding a cell with my favorite dwarf locked inside.  
“Andraste’s sacred knickers. You’re alive?” Varric asked in disbelief. He had that same red glazed-over look that Bull had. “Where were you? How did you escape?”  
“We didn't escape. Alexius sent us into the future.” Dorian explained.  
“Everything that happens to you is weird.” Varric said.  
“I second that.” I said softy. What had happened to him?  
“I’m always right.” Varric rambled. “And when I’m not, I lie about it. So, what are you doing here? Or did you come back just to trade quips with me?”  
“We get to Alexius, and I just might be able to send us back to our own time. Simply, really.” Dorian explained once more.

“That may not be as easy as you think.” Varric admitted. “Alexius is just a servant. His ‘Elder One’ did all the real damage. The ‘Elder One’ rules everything. What’s left of it, anyway. Alexius… is really not the one you need to worry about.”  
“If you think for one damned moment he’s getting away with this, then you are wrong.” I said, fighting the building emotion.   
“I’m pretty sure you’re crazy. Or I’m crazy. Either way, it’s a nice thought.” Varric admitted. “I’m in. Let’s go.”  
Once again, we were all in total and complete silence as we went down the hall from Varric’s cell.

“Is someone there?”   
I stopped so fast in my tracks that I almost fell over. Solas? I followed where the voice had come from, and found my friend in his own cell. That same red eyed look that had stricken Varric and Bull also haunted him.  
I put both hands over my mouth to cover up a sob. My eyes watered as my fire melted the door, leaving a steaming pool of iron on the ground. Solas stared in amazement.  
“I had forgotten how powerful you were—are.” He corrected himself. “How are you here? We saw you die!”  
“The spell Alexius cast displaced us in time. We just got here, so to speak.” Dorian said.  
“Could you reverse the process? You could return and obviate the events of the last year. It may not be too late…”  
“I knew you would understand him.” I said softly, looking down at the floor. I had caused this.

Solas laid a gentle hand on my arm. “You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong. But you know nothing of this world. It is far worse than you understand.” Solas paused.   
“We can’t do this without you.” I said. My next words were out of my mouth before I realized them. “I can’t do this without you.”  
“If there is any hope, any way to save them… My life is yours.” Solas said. “This world is an abomination. It must never come true.”  
“You speak of it like it is a wish.” I mused.  
“I wish it would never come to be.” Solas said. 

We continued on our way until I heard a pained cry. I opened a the door it hid behind, and peeked my head in through the crack.  
“You will break.” A man in armor hissed at a woman, strung up by her wrists. She was being tortured. Her eyes were sunken back in her skull, and a dark blotchy color sprang up all around the dark eye sockets.

“I will die first.” She hissed back with the same ferocity. Leliana. She spotted me, and a sliver of hope filled her grey, empty eyes. Her legs flew up and wrapped themselves around the man’s neck. One quick jerk to her right, and the man was dead.  
I took the keys off his belt and undid the shackles that held her. She dropped down and rubbed her raw skin impatiently.   
“You’re alive.” Leliana said, as if she still couldn't believe it.  
“I am.” I answered shortly.   
“You need to end this.” Leliana stated. “Do you have weapons?” I nodded. “Good. The Magister’s probably in his chambers.”  
“You aren't curious as to how we got here?” Dorian asked.  
“No.” Leliana answered curtly.  
“I’m so sorry for everything.” I said, stopping any further conversation. “This is my fault and I will make it right.”  
“It is not your fault.” Dorian argued. “Alexius was the one who sent us through time.”  
“My friends suffered.” I growled, moving out of the room at a fast pace. The others followed behind me at a distance, noticing that with every step I took, I got more and more angry. “And I wasn't here to save them.”

We traveled up the stairs, stopping in a room with a tall door and several guards. The guards stared at me, the looks of horror frozen on their faces as all six were immediately incinerated.  
“I’ve never seen her like this.” Bull admitted quietly to the others. “Is she always this scary?”  
“I’ve never seen her this mad.” Solas admitted. I walked up to the locked door, pressing against it.  
“It requires keys.” Dorian said.

“Keys my ass.” I growled, pushing my magic against it.  
“Herald.” Dorian said. “It won’t work.  
I pushed harder.  
“Joker.”   
Harder.  
“Lethallan.”  
I gasped as the magic pushed me back.  
“I told you so.” Dorian said. 

“I remember.” I growled, pushing against the door. It flung open.  
Dorian let out a single, confused laugh. “I will never doubt your magical ability again.” I ran into the room with a fire in my spirit and anger burning in my eyes like tears. Alexius barely had time to turn around before I picked him up by the throat and threw him against the wall. I had him two inches off the ground—even through he was a foot taller than I. 

“Those eyes.” Alexius gasped. “I know those eyes! Those are your father’s!” I shoved my palm harder against his throat. “I was there! He wanted a soul-switch! His daughter wanted to be a person instead of a—.” I punched him quickly in the throat to stop his words. A spell pushed me back off him, sending me mere feet away.  
“She hated being a dragon.” Alexius spat. “A beast of the skies that kills the people unlucky enough to be beneath its claws. She wanted to be a person, but her dream couldn't have happened without me taking that girl’s life.”  
“You bastard!” I screamed. I took a deep breath, letting the air around my mouth heat as it poured into my lungs.  
“You’re so much more deserving of that body than she was.” Alexius sneered. “Such raw magical talent and battle prowess. Even now you still—.” His words were silenced as bright red and white flames spilled from my lips, encasing him in a cage of pure hell.

As the last of my flames left my lips and I took a wheezing breath, I found that Alexius wasn’t even deserving of having ashes. All that remained was a shadow of his figure on the charred wall behind him.  
The boy’s body lay over a distance away. He had died, and I had never known his name.  
“He lost Felix so long ago he didn't even notice.” Dorian said quietly. “Oh, Alexius.”

I coughed suddenly, the hacking bringing me down to my knees. My hands felt hot and sweaty, and the hand I coughed into felt warm and sticky. I peered down into my palm as I felt the same liquid pour out of the corner of my mouth. Blood.  
“I overdid it.” I whispered, every breath suddenly a challenge. Was this what being mortal was like?

“I will ask about every little detail of that little display of yours after we get out of here.” Dorian assured, helping me back to my feet.  
“I know this can’t be easy for you.” I said. He had heard Alexius’ words. They had all heard it.  
“Once he was a man to whom I compared all others. Sad, isn't it?” Dorian said. “This is the same amulet he used before. I think it’s the same one we made in Minrathous. That’s a relief.” Dorian sighed. “Give me an hour to work out the spell he used, and I should be able to reopen the rift.”  
“An hour?” Leliana asked angrily. I guess that none of them had heard what Alexius said. Or at least, it hadn't registered. “That’s impossible! You must go now!”  
A devastating roar shook the room, making small stones and dust fall from above. I flinched at the awful excuse for a roar, labeling it mentally as a banshee screech.

“The Elder One.” Leliana said.  
“You have to hurry. This… is bad.” Varric said, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. All three men nodded to each other and then looked at me.  
“We’ll head out front.” Bull stated. “Keep them off your tail.”  
“No!” I said, wanting, needing them to hear my voice this time above all others. “Please don’t do this.” My eyes shined with tears.  
“We must, Vale.” Solas said softly.   
“What Alexius said, about you being a dragon.” Varric said, catching my attention. “You should tell us. I promise that we won’t take it that hard.”  
“But I can’t!” I cried. “All of you will hate me! You’ll think I’m a crazed beast with no idea of my actions!” I took a shaky breath in my burned lungs. “You won't look at me the same.” The last sentence was directed mostly at Solas. He gave me a painfully sweet smile.  
“How will you know that if you never tell us?” Solas asked, the question not needing an answer. I watched the three of them walk outside of the door, and Leliana shut it behind them. It locked back with the same magical barrier from before.

I watched blindly as Dorian dragged me to where he intended to cast the spell. Moments later, I heard a loud shriek as the doors flung open. Demons spilled in, bringing my companions in with them. Varric was already dead, a massive hole in his chest dying all that chest-hair a deep crimson.  
Bull followed moments later as a demon pushed him over and tore out his throat. 

Solas was flung against the wall, the sound of his spine cracking in two sending me over the edge. I reached out for him, coming to a realization that struck my wall and snapped it in half.  
I deeply cared about him. More so than the girl whose body I’d stole. More so than my magic, without which I would be dead. I would miss his stories of the fade, the way he smiled at the wonders of the world, the way his mind worked, but most of all…   
There in that moment, as his eyes closed and the life left his body. As Leliana fought the hopeless fight with arrow after arrow landing in her chest, and as Dorian’s spell finally cast, bringing us through the rift. There in that moment, I realized just what I’d done.

I’d fallen in love.

***

I appeared then in the same room as before. Alexius sat on his throne at the front of the room with Felix at his side. My companions stood a little ways behind me, standing as if they hadn't moved since we left. Maybe they hadn't.

My lips were parted in a silent ‘no’, and my hand stretched out to where I had last seen Solas, with realization still fresh in my mind. Blood dripped out of my mouth, the only thing that still moved in the room of confusion and silence.

“You bastard!” I roared, turning heel and running at Alexius. Dorian grabbed an arm, but I took him with me. Bull came forward and grabbed my other arm, keeping me from going any further.  
“You’re the Herald.” Dorian muttered. “Professional now, anger later.”  
“Take him away then!” I shouted angrily. “If I see his miserable face any longer than he will be nothing more than ashes!”   
“She means that!” Bull warned as the scouts put handcuffs on Alexius. Needless to say, they hurried out with the prisoner.

I went into another coughing fit, hacking up more blood into my hand and then the floor. I gasped as I pressed my other hand into my side and healed my lungs. There would be no more breathing fire then.   
It was as if I was truly becoming mortal.

“Are you alright?” Solas asked gently. I looked up into his stormy grey eyes, finding that my own filled with tears. All I could hear was the sound of snapping bones, and watching the life that left his body still filled my eyes.  
“That didn't happen Vale.” Dorian assured. “They’re all safe and sound.”  
“It happened to me.” I argued quietly. “It happened to you. It happened to them.”  
“Now it won’t.” Dorian said. “You saved them.”  
“I’ve doomed them.” I whispered.  
“Herald?” Fiona’s voice called. I swung around and found the mage there.

“I’m letting you join the Inquisition freely, on one condition.” I warned as I slowly moved forward. I hadn't felt this intimidating since I joined the Inquisition. “If you so much as lay a single hand on any member, if you threaten any one of us or innocents, or if you abuse your magic, I will personally see that you all burn in the fires of hell along with me.”  
“Noted.” Fiona said fearfully. I moved past her, out of the castle, and out into Redcliffe. All around me were people. People that would have died.

My breathing quickened as I ran through Redcliffe and out into the Hinterlands. At the moment, all I wanted to do was cry my eyes out, and that wasn't something the Herald could do in front of people.

I laid down beneath a tall tree on a hill that overlooked the city and took a shaky breath.  
That was what happens when I fail.

I couldn't fail.  
I wouldn’t.


	14. A Great Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine closes the Breach and defends Haven.

There it was.  
Far above me, looming over it all was that cursed hole in the sky. The thing that had started this whole mess. 

Now, I could finally fight on even ground.

I raised my hand as I moved through the thick green magic that surrounded the rift that lay beneath the Breach. My hand formed a connection with the magical monster, the lime green beam of magical light flowing between the rift and I. We pushed and pulled as I moved through the sludgy magic. It felt like I was swimming through it, like water. The more I pushed and shoved, the more it fought back.

With Solas’ voice brought the magic and willpower of the mages, giving me the push I so needed. I became a focus. I was the channel of their willpowers and mine. It was an overwhelming force of magical energy that brought me to life and gave me the same high one got after flying for a few hours. It was a feeling that I would never cease to desire… and miss.   
The rift gave off a sickly pop before exploding, sending me flying back for the second time. A ball of energy flew up into the sky, dispersing the Breach and letting the sound echo through the valley.

It was gone.  
My rapid breaths filled my ears as I stared up at the beast that had haunted my dreams, the monster that dogged my sleep. It was finally over.  
I fell to my knees and smiled a genuine smile as I began to laugh. It was the first time I’d laughed since Redcliffe four days ago. While that would always haunt me, I had managed to speak with Dorian about keeping my secret in exchange for answers about my fire-breathing, my magic, and a little about dragons themselves. He was easy to keep quiet, as long as he could be bribed with knowledge. I could still remember that conversation, and often kept it fresh in my mind.

“You’re a dragon?”  
“I am.”  
“You’re going to tell me what happened, aren't you? You’re obviously not a dragon now. Does anyone else know? Does Solas know?” The questions were never-ending.  
In truth, I had talked very little to Solas the last four days. He probably felt like I was avoiding him, but it wasn't his fault.  
It was mine.

Falling into a feeling such as that would do me no good, especially since now this mess was over. I still hadn't forgotten about me asking if I could accompany him, but he had given no clear answer then.  
Fighting this beast and emerging victorious had given me the courage to ask him again. One more chance. I would ask to go with him. I wanted to be his partner on those trips to the fade, and someone to talk to during his travels.   
I wanted to be his friend, and maybe something more, but for right now… Being a friend was all I wanted. It was all I could foresee. I was by no means a romantic, not like my mother. If simply meeting the man, who had so quickly stolen my heart, was all I was allowed in this life, then it would have been worth it.

Every bit of it.

***

“So, I’m going to ask again.” I said, bringing up a conversation. Solas’ eyes were questioning.  
“Would you take me along on your journey?”   
We were sitting on the roof of his cabin, watching the villagers celebrate below. Adan was drunk as could be, and Rose was trying to teach her teacher how to dance.   
Everyone was celebrating together. It was so merry… I had never seen anything like it.  
The dark sky was lit with the golden-yellow torchlight, but far above you could just barely make out the gleaming stars that sat hidden behind their curtains of grey clouds. It was as if they were in a play, leaping to their places the instant that curtain went up.

“Why do you wish to go?” He asked.  
“I’ve never met a spirit.” I answered.  
“Elizabeth.” Solas stated.  
“She’s my mother.” I argued. I cleared my throat and reworded my statement. “How about this? I’ve never met an actual spirit.”  
“Well I—.” 

Shouting echoed around beneath us as solider fled toward the gate. I peered over the wall, finding that, in the distance, hundreds of stark yellow lights poured over the mountain tops.   
“Too good to be true.” I muttered, standing up and looking out over the approaching army.  
“Herald! We must get to the gates!” Cassandra shouted from below. I slid down off the roof and into the snow with Solas right on my heels. We dashed off and arrived at the gate with all of my companions. Cullen ran his hands through his short blonde hair, the stress beginning to take its toll.

“Give me a plan Cullen.” I said hurriedly.  
“Haven is no fortress.” Cullen informed. “We have to be on the offensive. We have to use the trebuchets.”  
I nodded. An explosion shook the gate, making me jump. They were here already? I nodded to Cullen.

The doors swung open, and I walked outside with my fingers poised to snap. I could cast my magic in any which way, but this method was preferred because of how badass it made me look.  
There was, indeed, a tevinter mage standing there. He gurgled as blow spewed out of his mouth and down his chin. The limp body then fell to the ground, revealing a young man in his mid-twenties or so with dark leather clothes that had seen better days. He had on a wide brimmed hat that flopped down over his face and shielded his eyes. It was a wonder he could see anything.  
I moved over toward him, ignoring the gasps from my companions. He was a rogue, this one, and if he wanted me dead I would have already died. I gently picked up the brim of his hat, revealing a pair of brilliant sapphire eyes laced with both innocence and disbelief. His pale face was unscarred, and his lips had a slight smile.

“You wanted to see if I was okay.” He whispered. “Not if I was an enemy, but if I was hurt.”  
“What is your name?” I asked, taking a step back. With his hat now out of his face, he looked so much younger than I had thought.  
“I’m Cole.” He answered in his soft-spoken voice. “You’re all in danger. The Elder One is angry.”  
“Why is he angry?” Cullen asked from behind me.  
“You stole his mages.” Cole answered simply. He pointed a finger at me. “He wants the Herald.”

I laid a hand on my chest and turned back toward the wall. There was no one behind me. He must have been talking about me.  
“I’m flattered, but today’s my day off.” I joked.  
“Jokes to keep the tension from snapping, to keep the sad laughing, to not let the situation seem so dark.” Cole mumbled. “Laughs keep the pain at bay, behind its wall, away.”  
“Calm down.” I said, more than a little unnerved. “We’ll get back at this Elder One for crashing our party.”  
I turned around and smiled at my companions. “Solas, Bull and Cole will come with me to fire the trebuchets with the troops. The rest of you will help the soldiers and get the townspeople to safety.” I sighed. “As far as I’m concerned, I want every innocent in that village safe.”

“Varric!” I called. The dwarf separated from the group. “Please keep Rose safe.”  
“Don’t worry Joker, she’s in good hands.” Varric answered. 

I led my three companions out of the gate and toward the first trebuchet. A soldier was cranking the massive wheel hurriedly.  
“Keep them off us!” She pleaded. My companions fanned out as I climbed up a stack of crates. Now I could watch over all of them.  
As the enemies came in force, my spells became the way they should. There at the top of those crates, my snapping fingers and moving arms became a sort of fire-dance. Every enemy that chose to get too close was dead before they could blink. My fire was its own living, breathing thing, surviving inside of me just as I lived on through it. It was the last part of me that was truly a dragon, and I couldn't imagine what it would feel like without it.

The trebuchet whipped back, launching a massive boulder into the air and landing it right on the front lines. I gave a triumphant cheer.  
“They felt that one!” The solider at the wheel cheered. “Get to the other trebuchet! It isn't firing!”  
It wasn't far until we reached the next trebuchet, which was surrounded by tevinter—venatori troops. That must have been what they were. Venatori.  
I ran through them toward the trebuchet, letting a barrier ripple over my skin and add another layer to my armor. My hands clutched around the wheel as my companions took care of the Venatori.

“We know what your kind are.” A Venatori spat, making me freeze. “We all do.” The man was silenced as Bull’s axe found its mark.  
“Don’t listen to them boss!” Bull called. I continued turning the wheel, pushing the thoughts out of my mind. I could worry about that later.

Finally, the trebuchet was loaded. I flinched as it let out a creak, and shot off the boulder into a mountain above the approaching army. Snow fell, coating them in a thick layer of defeat.  
I barely had enough time to cheer before a blast of hot red fire exploded on the trebuchet, throwing all of us back. I stood on shaky feet and lurched over toward Solas. I pushed my magic through his and healed any wound he might have had before going on to do the same to Bull. Cole was already on his feet and appeared to be okay.  
“We need to get back to Haven.” I said, my voice coming out quieter than expected. I glared up at the sky as the black figure of a dragon glided across the sky. We hurried, my magic taking care of the bulk of troops as I fought to get my companions to shelter.

Cries rang out from everywhere. 

“Bull and Solas, go to the left while Cole and I will go to the right.” I said. One fighter per one mage would make this easier. “Check for survivors and help them get to the Chantry!”  
I led the way down the right side of Haven until I found one of the cries for help. I incinerated the door to the tavern, finding the waitress under a pile of wood. She was crying, and had burns all over her.   
“Can you walk?” I asked urgently. She nodded gratefully as I moved the wood off her legs. I didn't use my magic for fear of burning her. “Go to the Chantry.” She fled out of the building and toward the stone building in the center as I heard another cry for help. I ran out of the tavern just in time to see Adan and another woman strapped to pots that smelled like the gritty powder of explosives. I dashed over, finding that there were three fuses that were attached.   
Come on! I ripped at the rope, sheathing my magic. Fire in this situation wouldn't do anything but kill them. The pots clinked lightly, and then let loose a fiery explosion.  
I flew back into a snow bank, my eyes wide and a silent scream on my lips. My shirt was shredded from flying pottery and splattered with innocent blood, and I could feel my own making its way down my skin. I didn't care in the slightest that my stomach was exposed. “Those are… They were….”

I had never lost a mortal before.

“It was not your fault.” Cole appeared next to me, pulling me out of the snow. “There are more to save. You are a temper, not a feral.”  
“My actions killed two people.” I whispered, my gaze still frozen.  
“You cared about those people.” Cole said, putting my arm around his shoulder and lifting me off of the ground. “Ferals don’t care.”  
Cole led me up to the Chantry, where Solas and Bull were waiting inside. The door slammed shut behind us. Cole still stood beside me as if he didn't know where else to go.

“Herald!” Cassandra exclaimed. “You’re injured!”  
“Nevermind that now.” My breath hissed in pain. “Where’s Cullen?”  
“Here Herald.” Cullen said, coming to my side. “Any time you may have bought us was taken by that Archdemon.”  
“No.” I gasped. “Not an Archdemon. It’s a dragon. Something is… Wrong with it.”  
“A feral.” Cole said softly. “Being of anger and destruction.”  
“What matters now is how we end this.” Cullen said, ignoring Cole. “We can drop the snow on top of us before they reach the Chantry.”  
“No.” Dorian said. “This man here has an idea.” There, laying against the pillar, was Chancellor Roderick. He was dying, but he looked up at us with pleading eyes.  
“There… Is a path.” Roderick wheezed. “You wouldn't know it unless you made the summer pilgrimage, as I have. She must have shown me… Andraste must have…”

“Cullen can you get them out?” I asked. “I will go out there and distract them.”  
“But Herald, you will…” Cullen stopped as I gave him a pleading glare.  
“Vale!” Rose shouted, running past the commander. She jumped up into my arms, wrapping hers around my torso and holding on for dear life. My wounds stung. “Please….”  
“I have to go.” I pried her arms off me and knelt down next to her. “Help Cullen lead the Inquisition, okay?”  
“You’ll die like mamae.” Rose whispered, her bottom lip trembling. I nodded at Cullen, who came forward and grabbed Rose. She screamed loudly as I moved toward the gate.  
“I will go alone.” I stated. “The rest of you will carry the wounded and help the Inquisition to safety.”  
“Vale, no.” Solas said pleadingly. “Don’t do this.”  
I turned around and gave him a sweet smile. “Lethallin, this is what I'm meant to do.” 

There and then I left that Chantry with Rose screaming in the background, and the eyes of several hundred Inquisition members watching me go. I couldn't cry, no matter how much I wanted.  
I dashed through what remained of Haven. Most of the houses had been set aflame, destroying the contents inside. I ducked behind Solas’ house, a light glint catching my eye. There in the smoldering ashes was that same amulet he had used during the fight with the lich.

I found myself reaching into the burning house, and let my burnt fingers clasp around the hot chain. The amulet was unmelted and unchanged, but the chain felt like fire. I threw it around my neck, letting the warm metal cool against my skin. It would leave marks.

Finally I found the trebuchet. I turned the wheel, loading it up and readying it to fire. Suddenly, something thumped into the back of my shoulder. A scream clawed out of my throat as I reached back and felt the shaft of an arrow. I took my mind off of the pain and focused as I turned the wheel for the final time.  
The dragon smacked into the ground in a horrible landing, sending a shockwave into my legs. I flopped onto the ground as a massive figure climbed off the dragon and walked toward me.  
It was a giant. He had spikes of red stone sticking out of his face and his skin was stretched over his face, and taught over his thin limbs. He was an imposing figure in the same tevinter robes as the Venatori, but there was something in this thing’s eyes that said intelligence. 

“Enough!” The creature roared, sending me back toward the trebuchet. “Pretender, you toy with forces beyond your kin. No more.” He had a lisp to that spine-tinglingly dark voice. It sounded like pure evil, if evil had a sound.  
“I’m not afraid of you.” I growled.  
“Words mortals often hurtle at the darkness. Once they were mine. they are always lies.” He spat.  
“They are not mortals!” I shouted.   
“They are to me… and you.” It hissed. “Know me, know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One! The will that is Corypheus!” he pointed at me. “You will kneel.”  
“So that’s its name.” I realized aloud. “Well if you know what I am, then you know that tempers do not kneel to the likes of you.”  
“You will resist. Your kind will always resist. It matters not.” Corypheus said. An solid black orb appeared in his hand and began glowing with a bright crimson magic. “I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.”

The mark flared in my hand, sending sharp pain all through my limb. “What the hell?”  
“It’s your fault, ‘Herald’.” Corypheus spat. “You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying you stole its purpose. I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as ‘touched’, what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens.” The mark backlashed, throwing me to the ground with the shockwave. I gritted my teeth as my arm began to go numb. “And you used the Anchor to undo my work. The gall!”  
“Well shit, if that was your life’s work you need another career!” I shouted through the numbing pain. Corypheus’ eyes widened in rage as he grabbed my arm. His long fingers wrapped around it not once, but twice. I glared at him as he hoisted me up into the air by my marked arm.  
“I once breached the fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the empire in person.” Corypheus growled. “I found only chaos and—.”

“Shut it!” I shouted angrily, an explosion knocking him away from me and sending me into the snow. I stood up and brushed my clothes off. “Honestly, if I wanted your life story, I would have asked.”  
“How dare you!” Corypheus roared. “Do you know who I—.”  
“Yeah yeah some big tevinter hot-shot who decided that he was gonna become a god one day.” I scoffed.   
Corypheus fired up the orb once more, making my mark flare. This time, however, it thirstily drank my magic like one would drink water. I crawled back against the trebuchet. I had to end this before the damn thing took all of my magic.

“The Anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling.” I glanced up, finding a sword right where I needed it. Oh how things just appeared when I needed them! I picked it up and stood on shaky legs next to the trebuchet. My massive reserves of mana were dropping fast.  
“So be it. I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation—and God—it requires.” Far behind him, in the mountains beyond Haven, an arrow flew into the air with flames licking at its tip. They were safe and out of the way then… Now came the fun part. “And you. I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You must die.”

“Nice to know you’re an arrogant asshole who cant keep his mouth shut!” I bowed. “Thank you and have a bad day!” I kicked the trebuchet, sending the stone flying up into the mountains. Almost immediately the snow rained down from above, sending me flying into a hole in the ground. My head hit something hard, knocking me unconscious. 

I surely hoped they were safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vale's magic takes up so much of her existence that sapping it all saps her strength as well.  
> (Just a fact.) :)


	15. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vale gets mana burn (Ewww) and finally explains what a temper is to Solas.

My eyes fluttered open, displaying a dark cavern lined with a grey snow. It was cold, and my limbs were already catching frostbite.   
My breathing was dangerously slow, and I could feel the onset of mana burn. When my mana was completely depleted, I couldn't move. Limbs would begin to go numb, and my vision would be blurry like it was now. 

I was going to freeze to death.

The small breath that escaped my lips formed its own little cloud in the air. I laid my head back on the soft snow, wondering if I would freeze to death. I grunted as I realized that the arrow in my shoulder had snapped, leaving it’s tip. That was going to hurt.

Maybe I would bleed to death first. 

“Aurum!”  
Closer to it than I thought if I was hearing things.  
“Aurum please!” Elizabeth’s voice urgently whispered in my ear. “Get up!”  
I didn't have the strength to tell her I couldn't. My lips could barely part enough to mouth them.  
“Hang on Aurum! I will go get Solas!” Elizabeth cried out, her voice vanishing as suddenly as it had come. Tears streamed down my charred face.  
Don’t leave, I wanted to say. I wanted her to stay. 

For once in my life, I didn't want to be alone.

I put all of my focus into my hand, finding that it, at least, was able to slightly move. It moved to my neck, finding Solas’ amulet.  
My eyes closed slowly, staring out at the dark cave. If I died to save all those people: Dorian, Bull, Varric, Cassandra, Solas…. Then this sacrifice would have been worth it.   
I felt my eyes glass over as my mother’s voice began to sing, the gentle lull of it pulling me to sleep. It was so inviting, to just close my eyes and let it all fade away.   
“Spread your wings and fly.” Her voice sang. Suddenly she was there. My mother’s head swung out of the cave and stopped right above me. Her blackish-grey scales made her nothing more than a silhouette while her clear blue eyes stared into mine—almost like a reflection of a desert sky. I saw the sun above me, sitting high in its baby blue throne. The sands shifted eagerly beneath me, as if they were welcoming me back. I was home.

Her voice faded away as her blue eyes regarded me. “You’ve grown so much. You can’t stop now, Aurum.” Tears ran out of my eyes like a river as she spoke. “Those people depend on you. You can’t die on them.”  
She was right.  
I exploded out of the hallucination, finding myself back in the snowy cave. I clawed my hand in the snow and dragged my limp body. I would not go down like this! I would fight, tooth and claw, because I had people waiting for me. They needed me.  
Every inch I went felt like a mile, but I never looked back. My head swam from the loss of blood, making me see double of everything, but I didn't turn around. I refused.  
“Vale!”

I sighed with relief and stopped in my tracks, letting Solas’ voice ring through my ears. His name was such a beautiful thing. It was like water in a desert, or a fire in a blizzard.  
His blurry face laid on my chest, listening for a heartbeat. His eyes widened as he rose again and looked over my current state.  
“M…Mana.” I whispered, my voice barely hearable at all. Solas seemed to understand as he pulled a blue vial from his belt and poured the potion into my mouth. A gritty blue liquid went down my throat and immediately began to revitalize me. My magic flared, there but not yet enough for anything major.  
My eyes closed, and exhaustion took me. 

***

“What exactly are tempers?” Solas asked someone.   
I opened my eyes slowly, finding that I was wrapped in a thick fur coat and laying next to a bright orange fire. I was still in the cave—probably because they didn't want to move me while I was injured—but I was alive.  
I was alive.

“Tempers are curious creatures.” Elizabeth smiled. She was sitting to my right, watching over me with careful eyes. Solas was tending to the fire. “When the veil was separated from the world there was a great amount of magical beasts that went mad. Ferals. They fought the elves, who were now powerless against something they would have once been able to destroy without a second though. To combat these creatures, they set upon creating a beast of their own.”   
Elizabeth paused and set a gentle hand on my forehead, as if she was checking for a fever. “The tempers were created, but their souls were much to versatile to stay in the elves. When they died, often the souls would wander until they found another creature to inhabit. Tempers were abominations who did not get an afterlife. Just one life after another, fighting creatures, though some temper souls are limited to certain creatures.” She sighed. “They are abominations because, for the sake of more magical capacity, and more battle ready combatants, the elves took away the things that made one mortal.”  
“What do you mean?” Solas inquired.  
“Tempers have more magic than any other living being, and are comparable to the elven gods.” Elizabeth explained. “They cannot, however, do the everyday tasks of mortals. These include reading and writing, playing instruments, or creating anything at all. All a temper can be is a destroyer.”  
“Vale is a temper.” Solas stated.  
“I am.” I answered for Elizabeth. My shoulder was wrapped, which meant Solas had taken out the arrowhead and healed my wound. “Are you afraid?”  
Solas smiled. “More curious than afraid.”  
“If you have questions you can ask the actual temper.” I said looking over at the wilting Elizabeth. “You may return home.” She nodded and disappeared.  
“Are there many tempers?” Solas asked.  
I shook my head. “My mother and I were the last ones, until she died. Now, as far as I know, I am the only one with a living body. The others are still wandering.”  
“How were the tempers created?” Solas asked. “I’ve only barely heard of them.” Something behind his mask told me otherwise, but I did not have the strength to question it.  
I huffed. “I am not all-knowing.”  
“Is it difficult?”   
“Not entirely. You are given a vast amount of magic to work with, and you can kill almost anything that gets in your way….” I trailed off. “ There are many things, however, that I am unable to do. I can’t hold books or plant flowers, not when both turn to ashes the moment I touch them. I can learn spoken languages, but I will never be able to write. I could possibly read, but it would be a painfully long process to endure. I can sing, however, which is something I pride myself over. My mother could too.”  
“Why is it that you can’t do those things?” Solas asked.  
“It was what Elizabeth said.” I said softly. “To make room for the essential pieces of combat, they took away the unimportant pieces.”  
“I will teach you.” Solas stated.   
“Thank you, but I fear that it may be hopeless.” I admitted.  
“I do not think you are hopeless.” He said quietly. “You’ve just been dealt a bad hand.”  
“So life is a game of cards now?” I asked.  
“If you talk to Varric.” Solas mused. He suddenly looked straight at me. “Elizabeth called you ‘Aurum’.”  
“That was my name before I left.” I said truthfully. “I changed it.”  
“Why?”  
“Tempers are named after the color of their soul.” I answered. “When I die, my ‘soul’ is gold. Any more questions?”  
“Many, but we must return to the others before they move.” Solas said, rising up and extinguishing the fire. He helped me to my feet before giving me a coy smile.

“I have a secret of my own.”  
I stared in wonder as his shape changed into that of a solid black wolf with a set of bold, crimson eyes. His head moved around, finding me with a smile on my face. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, giving him a funny grin.   
“I guess you want me to climb on?” I asked softly, my voice soft. His head bobbed up and down as he knelt, making it easier on me. I climbed onto his back, laying my face in the thick fur. It was warm in my fingers.  
“Let’s go.” I said softly. Solas spurred forward out of the cave and into the snow. It was nighttime, and the stars were out. I stared up at them, having not seen them like this since home. Solas looked up too, his red eyes shining just as bright.  
Both his eyes and the stars shined. I smiled wide as I realized they were trying to outshine each other.  
“So beautiful.” I whispered. Solas continued forward through the snow, and toward a mountain. There in the distance was the Inquisition, made up of tents, horses, and rough patches in the snow where people had walked.  
I carefully climbed off Solas and faced the camp as he shifted back. Moments later, he laid a gentle hand on my shoulder.  
“To make it believable.” Solas said, putting an arm around my shoulders and another underneath my knees. He swung me up into his arms. Suddenly, he looked at me with such a heartbreaking relief on his face.

“What’s all this for?” I asked.  
“They honestly wouldn't believe that you walked.” Solas stated. “And it’s for my sake knowing that you won’t go disappearing under any more snow.”  
I laughed, flinching as my sides protested. “Then let’s go.”  
As we walked into the camp, most everyone was completely silent. I wondered what they felt like. They thought that I had given my life to get them out of danger’s way, and here I was back from the dead and walking among them. It was as if someone had completely stopped time, and Solas and I were the only ones who moved. Solas set me down on my own feet, which started the movement back up.  
“She’s alive!” A small body launched into my own, knocking me back into Solas and then sending me to the ground. I fought the flinch as I hugged little Rose tight in my arms.  
“I told you.” I whispered tiredly. Rose buried her face in my chest and hugged me tighter, as if she were afraid I would go do some stunt like that again.  
Not for a while, at least.  
“Cassandra.” I addressed as she came forward with Cullen, Josephine and Leliana at her side. They all looked so relieved. “I’m afraid that I will be out of service for a little while in the magic department.”  
“That’s better than you being dead.” Dorian laughed. I stared up at the tevinter mage as he gently tapped on Rose’s shoulder. She released me and stood beside Dorian. Had they become friends?  
They were all safe then… and Solas still didn't know what I truly was. Only Dorian knew, but did I really have the heart to keep the secret up any longer?  
The Solas from that horrible future had wanted me to tell them, but did I really have the courage?

***

My eyes dropped dangerously, threatening to close on me.   
It wasn't as if I had no cause. This had been a very eventful day for me.  
Cassandra’s yelling snapped me out of my sleepiness, drawing my attention to the argument between she and the advisors. They argued—mostly likely on our next move—but that didn't hold any current importance to me. I wasn't their leader; just a figurehead.

“You need to rest.” A comforting voice whispered. I looked over my shoulder, finding Mother Giselle sitting on the cot beside mine. She watched me with a careful gaze, as if I would vanish before her eyes.   
“They’ve been at it a while.” I muttered, recounting all the yelling and screaming they had done while I had tried to listen. Even if I didn't care for the war councils, I wasn't an idiot. Listening was the best way to learn.  
“They have that luxury thanks to you.” Mother Giselle said softly. “The enemy could not follow, and with time to doubt, we turn to blame.” She shook her head. “Infighting may threaten as much as this Corypheus.”  
“I might as well go over there and put my charm on display.” I joked, but my voice felt hollow. “Maybe it’ll make them mad enough that they’ll finally go to sleep.”  
“Another heated voice, especially yours, won’t help.” Mother Giselle said. “Our leaders struggle because of what we survivors witnessed. We saw our defender stand… and fall. And now we have seen her return. The more the enemy is beyond us, the more miraculous your actions appear, and the more our trials seem ordained. That is hard to accept, no? What we have endured and what we must come to believe.”  
“You’re not trying to convert me are you?” I asked seriously. “The Maker you people worship has done nothing for me.” I leaned forward. “In the eyes of my father I am an abomination. In the eyes of my friend, I am a fate worse than death. In the eyes of those who do not know me, I am a monster. You can’t fight a monster with hope alone.”  
I stood up and walked out of the tent, leaving the Chantry woman to think about my words. The religion these people practiced was a curious thing, but it didn't apply to me. Tempers, according to the Chantry, would go to hell whether they believed or not. We didn't have souls like the rest of the world. No amount of hope or prayer would save me.  
The bitter cold was fierce at the entrance of the healer’s tent. I paused there and leaned against the post that held it up. The advisors were standing around with ruffled feathers, letting each other cool off before the next round of punches.  
It was silent then, until Mother Giselle began to sing.

I knew the song that she sung since my mother had taught me the words, but I kept my mouth closed.  
“Shadows fall, and hope has fled. Steel your heart, the dawn will come. The night is long, and the path is dark. Look to the sky, for one day soon. The dawn will come.”  
Her voice rang out in the silence, going unanswered until Leliana began the second verse.  
“The shepard’s lost, and his home is far. Keep to the stars, the dawn will come.” As they continued to sing, everyone joined in. Voices low and high mixed in one massive sound, growing and shrinking like it was a living thing on its own. For just a moment within it, I could hear the beating heart of a new beginning.   
I joined in, the mass of voice backing off slightly so that my melodic voice could ring out and captivate. As I sang, letting my voice wind and become a part of the new beginning we were creating, I found that there was a longing somewhere deep inside that had been awakened. I longed to be here.

This was home.

Home wasn't some cave in a desert, or a village in the snow covered mountains. It wasn't on the road alone, hoping that you didn't have to char dinner again and eat ashes.   
It was here with these people. Keeping Thedas as a whole safe was what I had been created to do. That was why I was here.  
This longing was the wish of a temper who had finally found where she was meant to be.  
People came and knelt in front of me, but this time I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I had. They were doing this purely out of a respect that I had earned. This time, I had earned the kneels and nods of respect. The song ended, letting the last few voices—including mine—ring out into the night.  
I may not ever be able to play an instrument, but I could sing like my mother.

“You may not believe, but they do.” Mother Giselle said with a smile. She walked out into the crowd of people, who now cheered with renewed hope.   
“A word.” Solas said in my ear. I followed my friend out of the camp and over toward the edge of a snow bank. I shivered as he lit a torch with a blue flame.  
“The humans have not raised an elf so high for ages beyond counting.” Solas admitted.  
“I am not an elf.” I muttered. “I am a temper.”  
“In the body of an elf.” Solas pointed out. “Technically you are an elf.”  
“Oh no!” I cried out.  
“What is it?” Solas asked, taking a step toward me.  
“I’m having an identity crisis!” I cried. I laughed as Solas shook his head. He was laughing as well.   
“The faith is hard one lethallan, worthy of pride… save one detail.” Solas said, his laugh disappearing. “The orb Corypheus wields is elven. He used it to open the Breach. Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the Conclave. We must find out how he survived… and we must prepare for their reaction when the learn the orb is of our people.”  
“I’m not an elf.” I huffed.   
“In this life you are.” Solas said, annoyed. “Unless you want to explain the properties of a temper to these people who just blatantly displayed their faith in the Maker. How would they feel to know you are an ‘abomination’ as you call it?”  
“That was low.” I shivered. “Alright… What is this orb and how do you know about it?”  
“Such things were foci, said to channel power from the elven gods. Some were dedicated to specific members of our pantheon. All that remain are references in ruins, and faint vision of memory in the fade, echoes of a dead empire. However Corypheus came to it, the orb is elven, and with it, he threatens the heart of human faith.”  
“What I’m thinking is that they’ll blame it on elves anyway.” I said, remembering the times the girl told me about what the humans had done to her people.  
“I suspect you are correct. It is unfortunate, but we must be above suspicion to be seen as valued allies.” Solas stared at the blue fire. “Faith in you is shaping this moment, but it needs room to grow.”  
“What did you have in mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while since I posted! Sorry for the long wait, I hope you enjoy!


	16. Non-Human Inquisitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine accepts the title of Inquisitor.

True beauty was something I had never expected to see so often outside of the desert I had previously lived in. It lay in the churning water of the rivers that led out to an wide expanse of dark water that held more secrets than I could spend a lifetime discovering. Even the flowers I couldn't touch held their own beauty in the vibrant colors that shined on their petals. Words themselves held a gorgeous mystique to them while on paper, almost like a mystery I would never know the end to. These mountains I led the Inquisition through were one such example of this true beauty.  
I had led these people on nothing but the promises of an elven mage and on blind hope. 

Honestly, I had done more on worse.

They had willingly followed me through the mountains, and now we were about to see if Solas’ words had any weight to them.   
I clawed over a rock and stood at the top, huffing and puffing like I had just run for my life. Solas paused next to me, leaning on his staff. 

“Take a break?” Solas tried, knowing full well what I would say.   
I sighed. “Just because I am injured—”  
“Doesn't mean that you are going to stop.” Solas finished. Even though he knew, he also knew that I was bluffing. In reality, I was still weak from the loss of my mana, and I still didn't have enough to cast even one of my spells. 

I walked across the rock and in-between the peaks of two mountains. There, nestled in-between two mountains, was a large castle.  
A castle of all things!  
It was made up of many dark grey towers, and the tall stone walls were so much safer looking than Haven was. Mist clouded around the base, but even from this distance it was an intimidating presence. 

“Skyhold.” 

I glanced over at Solas, finding he was in as much awe as I was. His stormy eyes were alight, like the sun had finally broken through the grayish blue clouds, and a smile played at his lips.   
It was almost close enough to touch, a little like the sky when you were up this far in the mountains. I crept down the rock, finding a long-forgotten trail. It led toward the castle—Skyhold—but somehow meant more than that.   
I didn't know how.

***

“Vale.”

Cassandra? She rarely called me that. Most of the time it was ‘Herald’. I looked up at the warrior woman expectantly.  
I had been waiting here for a little over an hour. Everyone said that Cassandra was looking for me, so I decided to wait around and help the villagers move in to their new home. It was strange, looking at this intimidating fort like it was a home. Soon it would be, but a place like this wasn't really meant for anything other than protecting.   
I suppose that’s what a home did.

Cassandra and I watched as more people poured into Skyhold’s courtyard, bringing crates and items of value into the walls of safety.   
“They arrive daily from every settlement in the region. Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage.” Cassandra nodded for me to follow. We began to walk up a set of stairs toward a small platform. “If word has reached these people, it will have reached the Elder One. We have the walls and numbers to put up a fight here, but this threat is far beyond the war we anticipated.” Cassandra paused in her step to look at me—particularly my mark. “But we now know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you.”  
“My boundless optimism?” I joked. Cassandra laughed lightheartedly as we continued. 

“Your decisions let us heal the sky. Your determination brought us out of Haven. You are that creature’s rival because of what you did. And we know it, all of us.” Leliana was at the top of the stairs holding a sword. A dragon’s maw was open on the hilt, as if it were—instead of it being fire—blowing metal out of its mouth. 

“The Inquisition requires a leader: the one who has already been leading it.” Leliana held the sword out toward me. I stared at the silvery blade with a fascination. They wanted me? I looked down over the courtyard, finding that everyone had begun to gather into a massive crowd. They were all looking up at me, waiting, watching, praying for me to tell them I would be their leader. “You.”  
“Oh shit.” I whispered. I gave Cassandra a wide eyed look. “You trust me, of all people, with this?! I’m not human! I use magic! Why me?”

Cassandra smiled at my mini meltdown. “I would be terrified handing this power to anyone, but I believe it is the only way. They’ll follow you. To them, being an elf, and a mage, shows how far you’ve risen, how it must have been by Andraste’s hand. What it means to you, how you lead us: that is for you alone to determine.”  
I took the sword and gave it a long look. At present, there was one thing I really wanted.

“Corypheus will be stopped.” I promised.  
“Have the people heard?!” Cassandra shouted.  
“They have!” Josephine said loudly. “And soon, the world!”  
“Commander, will they follow?”

“Inquisition!” Cullen shouted to the crowd. “Will you follow?” They cheered in approval and agreement, raising their voices to cheer me into my role. “Will you fight?” I raised the sword higher, watching as they yelled and cheered louder with every bit higher the sword went. “Will we triumph?” I grinned. “Your leader! Your Herald! Your Inquisitor!”   
It was incredible. All these people who barely knew who or what I was were cheering. For me!  
As the advisors led me into the main hall of the castle, I suddenly felt overwhelmed. They didn't know what I truly was.

Would they ever?


	17. Kota's freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vale meets Kota!

Days like this were rare.

The bitter cold had backed off significantly, leaving the sun to warm you and etch that warmth into your skin. It was like a blacksmith working hot metal, only to have that metal cold be cooled by a gentle breeze, or at least, that was how I thought of it. 

I laid on the stone wall, staring up at the clouds. It was a lazy relaxation day, and I preferred to be outside. Solas sat next to me, reading a large tome, written by some Chantry scholar, that explained he veil and its workings. I enjoyed watching his reactions as he read it, and how his eyes would flash with a touch of anger whenever he would find something wrong.  
I stared at the book, finding that the inscriptions looked completely foreign. 

“Could I take you up on that offer?” I asked. Solas smiled, marked his page, and closed the book. “That you could teach me to reach?”  
“Of course, but let me get something a little easier.” Solas took his book with him back to his room, which I had yet to visit. It was rare that we would get to spend time together like this.

“Are you the Inquisitor?”

And fleeting.

I turned to find a young elven woman with a straight, fixed look. Her blue eyes were cold, and matched the winding patterns on her face that resembled a tree. Her head was shaved on one side, and the remaining strands fell all the way down her back in a solid white waterfall. 

“Greetings.” I said politely. “I am Inquisitor Valentine.” I flinched internally at how practiced my lines sounded. They were, after all, but they sounded it.  
“I am Emma from clan Lavellan.” She introduced, her line sounding practiced as well.   
“Welcome to this dysfunctional family.” I said, gesturing around at Skyhold. Emma moved her head to the side and gave me a curious look. It was as if she did not quite know what she looked at.

“So where are you from?” I asked casually.  
“Shem small talk?” Emma raised her eyebrows. “I am from the Free Marches. Clan Lavellan, as I said before.” Shem…. The girl said those were what they called humans.  
“I am an elf like you.” I said, tucking my hair back to reveal my ear.  
“Not a true elf.” Emma stated. Oh, it would not be good if she was staying here. Especially not if Solas knew.  
“What is a true elf?” I asked, drawing on my knowledge from both the girl and Solas. “You mean the ancient elves?”  
“Those who strive to hand down the knowledge of our ancestors.” She answered. “Not those who do not care in the slightest.”

I shook off the insult. “What makes you special enough to be here then, Emma?”  
“I was my clan’s best defender.” Emma informed. “I believe myself to be a more than adequate addition to the Inquisition.”  
“That’s it?” I asked. “I expected a Dalish to be able to do more than throw a solid punch and hold up a sword.”  
“You wish to test my strength?” Emma asked, her face turning red. “I am not afraid because of your title.”  
I laughed. “Our strengths lie on two separate planes. Where we to clash, there would be nothing to send back to your clan.”  
Emma’s eyes shined with the challenge.

“You certainly have the personality my Keeper said you would.” Emma said, backing down and fixing her fury. “Sarcastic and cocky.”  
“Honestly my personality is only volatile if you do not spend a whole lot of time around me.” I admitted. Solas caught my eye as he walked back toward us. His eyes were alight.

“Inquisitor I have some news.” Solas said happily. I raised my eyebrows. Normally, he was never this happy.  
“What is it?” I asked.  
“An old elven ruin.” Solas answered. “It is massive, and we have been asked to help a Dalish tribe explore.”  
“That would be mine.” Emma stated. Solas and I looked at her. “Clan Lavellan has requested that I accompany you.”  
“How thoughtful.” I mused.  
“It is on the storm coast far into the mountains.” Emma answered. “Clan Lavellan has a pact with another clan that lives near the coast, but we are unable to negotiate in terms of who gets to go inside, so I am to bring you all there to be peacekeepers.”

“When do we leave?” I asked, mainly toward Solas.   
“You’re the Inquisitor. You decide.” Solas said. I blinked slowly as realization covered my face.  
“Ha!” I laughed. “I’m the leader! I can’t be ordered around anymore!” I shook with glee. “I can finally sleep instead of having to go without!”   
“Yes you can.” Solas said, chuckling lightly. “I suggest you visit with Josephine before you leave. She is looking for you.”

“Right.” I said, looking between Solas and Emma. There was already a tension between them. “Do not bite each other’s heads off before I get back.”  
“I have research to do.” Solas said, putting out an excuse so as not to talk with the young elf.

“Emma, if you wish to find a place to rest then seek Commander Cullen. He can give you a place to rest from your journey.” I gave the girl a welcoming smile.  
“Thank you Inquisitor.” She said, bowing her head. I quickly walked back up into the main hall of Skyhold, letting my breath be taken away as I stared at the high ceilings, which were still being repaired. Twin scaffolds mirrored each other on either side of the hall, and Josephine stood in-between them with Leliana at her side. The equally scary women stood in front of a darkly dressed lady—who I could only describe as a witch—with an angry glare fixed toward the rotunda. 

“I am sorry for her disrespect.” She apologized through her teeth. “That slave is the bane of my existence.”  
“She seems rather strong-willed.” Leliana admitted, though I could see the anger in the way she stood. This witch was a slaver, then.   
“She is, but with that magic…” The woman trailed off. “They called her the ‘Great Illusionist’ of her people. I can shut down any of her little spouts, so you will not have to worry about another.”

This woman was faker than an Orlesian smile.

“Come, I will show you to your room.” Leliana said, letting the woman follow her through a door and down a hall. The witch disappeared from my view, and I relaxed.  
“We have decided to invite her.” Josephine said to me. “Should you meet her, that woman’s name is Elizabeth Suras.”  
My hands clenched into fists. That woman did not deserve that name. “What is it that you needed me for?”

“Celene is hosting a grand ball that will host peace talks.” Josephine said, cutting a long explanation to the point, like I wanted. “Everyone across Thedas sees you, not just as Inquisitor, but as the Dragon Inquisitor. They marvel at the story of how you turned a dragon to ashes with nothing more than a snap of your fingers, and we can use that for your attire.”

“I am not wearing dragon-scales.” I said.  
“I know.” Josephine said, giving me a smile. “But what about a dress that looks like dragon-scales? We would make you look like a dragon, which would give that name power and weight. You would be the talk of the night simply because of what you wore.”  
“A dress.” I clarified.   
“Yes, Inquisitor.” Josephine said. “Now, I know that you have another journey to prepare for, but I ask that you would go check on that woman’s slave. She’s in the rotunda.”  
“She is a Magister.” I said, the words not a question.  
“Yes.”  
I growled. “If I meet her alone in a hall, I do not guarantee that you will not have ashes to clean up.”

“Please try to control yourself.” Josephine said. “Magister Elizabeth is here for a reason.”  
“A good one, I hope.” I muttered softly as I turned away from the ambassador and toward the rotunda. Anger licked at my footsteps and threatened to pour from my mouth as I pushed open the door and descended upon Solas, who was studying on his couch. 

The rotunda was, of course, a circular room with a scaffold by the door and a small circular table in the center. There were random chairs here and there, and a couch in the back next to another door that led to Skyhold’s walls. A separate door led upstairs. 

“A damn dress!” I shouted angrily at Solas. I fell onto the couch next to him and casually looked over his shoulder. All my anger was gone, like he had taken it away.   
“Hello?” Called a small, soft voice. My eyes flashed up, finding a small elven girl with fair blonde hair that went down to her shoulders. The left side of her her head was shaved, making all the hair flip over onto the covered side. Her sharp blue eyes were dulled, and I could smell a heated metal on her wrists. Shackles? There were none, but bits of cooled metal were stuck to her red, raw wrists.

“Well shit, I didn't notice anyone in that dress-induced rage.” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. I extended my marked hand out for her to shake.   
“My name is Valentine, and yours is?” I waited expectantly as the girl hesitated, and then placed her hand in mine.   
“Kotamae.” She answered, her eyes widening as the mark crackled. It felt the presence of magic, which meant that this ‘illusionist’ was a mage.   
“You’re the—the—” She stammered. 

“Inquisitor.” I finished for her. I clapped my hands and gave her a winning smile. “Goodie! Yippee! Good job, you discovered my secret identity!” I rolled my eyes and laughed silently with my joking smile. “If you are looking to help someone, then I could certainly use an extra hand.”  
“Of course.” She said, albeit a little nervous. Kotamae seemed a little confused, as if I weren't what she expected.   
“Follow me.” I said, walking toward the door and holding it open for Kotamae. She hesitated, and then went on through. 

***

“So you’re an illusionist.” I stated.   
“That’s what they call me.” Kotamae admitted. 

I discovered the more I talked with her, the more I could relate to this girl. I had taken her out of the rotunda and through the door of the Inquisitor’s quarters, where they were still repairing the room for me. The way through was rather unoccupied, and a tall scaffold made up the middle of the empty tower. Stairs traced the edges, leading up to the quarters, yet not leading down the tower. I wondered why, and since then it had become my favorite place. 

We sat on the sturdy scaffold, though the girl was stiff and nervous. She had spoken little, but I knew from the way that woman had spoken of her that Kotamae had both an attitude, and magic. Both of which I believed would come in handy, which was why she was here. I wanted her to join the Inquisition.

And I was willing to bet my magic that she wanted out of slavery.

“What does that mean?” I inquired.   
“I use my magic to get out of traps.” Kotamae said. “I don’t have a lot of it, but I have become good at it.”  
“That metal on your wrists.” I said, glancing down at the iron seared to her skin. “You melted your shackles?”  
“I did.” Kotamae said. “In front of everyone in that hall.”  
I laughed, the sound wholehearted. “That sounds like something I would do.” I glanced at her, softening my tone as I said, “You don't have to stay with that woman. You could escape.”  
“I know.” Kotamae said. “I want to. More than anything.”  
“Then why don't you?” I asked. 

She paused thoughtfully. “Freedom is only a recent idea. On our way here it was nothing more than a dream, but it was only when I walked through Skyhold’s gates that I realized it was possible.”  
“I can help you.” I stated. “If you could tell my advisors everything about the woman you serve at the war meeting later today, then I can give you your freedom.”  
“Freedom.” Kotamae said, tasting the word on her lips. “I will tell you what I can.”  
I smiled. “You’re one step closer.”


	18. Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear... I wonder what happened to our lovely Inquisitor this time.

After a rather interesting day of setting fire to witches, I found myself wandering back in the rotunda. My mind was rather clear, though I could sense a cloud. I would need to leave this place soon, and there wasn't one part of me that wanted to leave.

Earlier today I had set Kotamae free of her Mistress, and gave her a spot with Josephine. Will everything going on, I figured that the ambassador would need some help.  
I stretched my arms toward the ceiling, letting my back pop with a satisfying sound that echoed in the room. Solas looked up and gave me a smile.

“I’ve come for another chat.” I said.  
“What else have we to talk of?” Solas asked jokingly. “You’ve questioned me until I’ve run out of things to say.”  
“I do not believe that for a second.” I grinned. “I still want to get to know you better. If you aren’t busy, of course.”  
“Of course, but I have somewhere better to talk.”

***

I gasped at Haven, and how accurate the fade could truly be. The same quiet little village—void of life—with all of its pre-destroyed glory. The tiny little houses guided my path as Solas led me into the Chantry and then down a set of stone stairs. He paused in front of a damp room with an old, rusted grate over the top. The grate spilled light down onto a set of worn shackles, and reflected off of the glistening stone pillars that bordered the room.

“Why here?” I asked, the echo of my voice the only sound except for the occasion drip of water.   
“Haven is familiar. It was always be important to you.” I raised an eyebrow as he continued, “I sat beside you while you slept, studying the anchor.”  
I snorted. “That must have been quick.”  
“A magical mark of unknown origin, tied to a unique breach in the Veil? Longer than you might think.” He gave me a smile. “I ran every test I could imagine, searched the Fade, yet found nothing. Cassandra suspected duplicity… She threatened to have me executed as an apostate if I didn't produce results.”  
“Well Cassandra is like that with everyone.” I admitted. “Though she’s gotten better as of late.”  
Solas chuckled, the sound ringing through the air and making my heart throb. “Yes.” I took a deep breath as he led the way back up the stairs. My heart was pounding.

“You were never going to wake up.” Solas said.  
“Your amount of faith in me is disturbing.” I muttered.   
“How could you? A mortal sent physically through the fade?” He said, the question not meant to answered.   
But oh I wanted to. ‘I’m not a mortal.’ I wanted to say. As far as he knew, tempers were mortal creatures. He didn't know the worst part about us, and he didn't know I was a dragon.  
“I was frustrated, frightened.” Solas admitted, showing a little crack in his mask. “The spirits I might have consulted had been driven away by the Breach. Although I wished to help, I had no faith in Cassandra… or she in me. I was ready to flee.”  
I chuckled softly. “Where would you have gone? The entire world was falling apart.”

“Someplace far away where I might research a way to repair the Breach before its effects reached me.” He smiled upon seeing my ‘are you serious’ face. “I never said it was a good plan.”  
He walked out into the snow, his hands clasped behind his back. “I told myself: one more attempt to seal the rifts.” He thrust his left hand out into the empty air—like I did when I closed rifts. It landed in empty air, and he brought it back to his side. “I tried and failed. No ordinary magic would affect them. I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to flee, and then…” The memory of me closing that first rift flashed behind my eyes. I could recall in every detail his hand clasping around mine like it was his last hope, and the rift shattering into its green abyss.

Maybe that was his last hope. He spoke of it like it was.

“It seems you hold the key to our salvation.” He recalled, turning around and looking at me. He smiled. “You had sealed it with a gesture… and right then I felt the whole world change.”  
“Felt the whole world change?” I asked, moving a little closer. The movement was subtle, but it did not go unnoticed.   
“A figure of speech.” Solas said, trying and failing to defend his words. I was onto him now.  
“I’m away of the metaphor.” I said, the breath of a chuckle behind my lips. “I more interested in ‘felt.’”  
“You change… everything.” Solas admitted, moving close enough until we were within reaching distance.   
“Sweet talker.” I said shyly. He leaned down toward me and I moved up, our lips a breath between one another. Something sharp pierced my heat, making me gasp as I closed the distance and pressed my lips against his. They were warm and inviting, yet…

Wrong. 

This was wrong. 

This is wrong, Vale!

This isn't you!

Warmth spread through my lips and I closed my eyes. A tear slipped down my cheek and I knew that Solas saw it. 

Wrong! This isn't your body!

I pulled away from him, guilt racking my features and making my breath steady. That wasn't even a real kiss, and I was brought to my knees.  
He didn't know what I had done. He didn't know that this wasn't my body. I couldn't kiss him with the girl’s body. It wasn't mine.  
It wasn't me.   
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered. The fade disappeared around me, leaving me staring up at the ceiling of my quarters.  
I sighed sadly, letting another tear slipped down my face. I was a cursed creature: not something that was deserving of happiness.  
What had I done?

***

“This damn rain is getting on my last damn nerve.” Varric grumbled as he wrung more hair out from his ponytail. I stared in mixed fascination as the rain landed on my skin and evaporated on contact.   
We were finally in the Storm Coast. Solas and I usually made up the conversation, but now it had run dry—opposite of the constant rain we faced. Everyone noticed our silence, and had acted accordingly to fill it in with their own odd conversations. 

Perhaps this weatherproof skin was one of the perks of being a temper? It didn't really work on my hair, but at least my skin was dry. 

“Lucky.” Bull muttered toward me. “The rest of us have to deal with the rain, Boss.”  
“The rest of you can also willingly walk through grass.” I returned, making Bull burst into laughter.  
“Are you sure it doesn't just explode because you’re there?” Varric asked.  
I gasped. “Are you suggesting I’m volatile? Me? Of all people?”  
“Now why would I do that?” Varric asked, chuckling lightly.  
“Because I am.” I said, giving them both a smile. “I would help the rest of you out, but I would kill you instead of help you.”  
Solas snorted from his place next to the hissing remains of our fire.

I hadn't spoken to Solas about the fade semi-kiss, or how much I wanted to fix it. I longed to kiss him for real, but it would have to wait until better circumstances. I peered over at the elf, watching him look over his old staff.   
People liked gifts? Didn't they? I would get him a new staff to apologize.   
“Hey boss, you're being suspiciously quiet today.” Bull admitted from his spot. He sharpened his axe with a whetstone while we sat around this sizzling fire, with the elven escorts nearby. Emma and a male elf, about my height, named Julian. His blonde hair was cut extremely short, and his tattoos wound up around the left side of his face, bringing out curt blue eyes.

They argued mercilessly. 

From what I’d heard I knew that Julian was from a clan—I did not care to remember their name—that lived here on the coast, and Emma was from clan Lavellan up north.They had come together upon finding this place mainly since Julian’s clan did not have the funds or the manpower to excavate. Clan Lavellan supplied this, which meant that they expected—no, demanded some of the reward. They argued over how much, and who would have the rights to the place. 

“Will they stop?” I asked irritably, the weather and company I kept finally stabbing at my last nerve. “What is so damn important?”  
“They’re trying to decide who will enter first.” Solas said quietly. “Their Dalish pride is potent enough to smell.”  
“Hell, I’ll go in first if it shuts them up.” I said, standing and glaring at the two elves. They seemed to shrink and look over at me. I imagined I must have been quite the sight: wet, soggy hair that ruthlessly demanded to be in my grey, sullen eyes, and smoke coming from my skin and nostrils as I breathed out rainwater.  
If the rumors of me be a dragon-lady weren't known by the Dalish, it would be now. 

“What’s the hold up?” I asked as nicely as I could.   
It was Emma who answered with her own nice-fire, “We are trying to decide who gets what.”  
“You haven't even been in there.” I said through clenched teeth. I sighed, “Let’s go in and you can figure that out later. I’m sure the both of you are itching to get in there.”  
“Itching to steal what’s rightfully ours.” Julian muttered.  
“Let’s go you two.” I said, frustration leaking into my voice. I practically dragged the two toward the tall cliffs we camped near. A small doorway was marked by two winding trees carved in rock. I released the two and let them follow me—along with my companions—into the dark doorway.   
It led the way into a small room with another barred doorway. I snapped my fingers and watched the flames melt the rock and wood that was caught in the door. I noticed that my fire had rendered the two elves completely silent. 

“Never seen fire before?” I asked, my spirit lightened by being out of the rain.  
“Not that kind.” Julian admitted.

Golden light poured through the lightening smoke and ashes left by my magic, filling my eyes with a long-missed glow. I walked into the room with purpose in my step, spurred on by nothing more than a want to get this mission done.  
My breath vanished, completely sapped from my lungs as my eyes ran up and down a massive golden statue. It stretched from floor to ceiling, the golden light chipped and broken in several places. The face of a woman with a dangerous gaze and long, braided hair stared down at me—more like through me—and held her bow back to form the perfect shot. 

“Andruil.” Solas breathed, compete awe in his voice. My awe had suddenly been taken as I found it hard to breathe and concentrate. 

“Holy shit, is that real gold?” Varric asked. He moved forward and gently knocked on the statue. It produced a dull thud, meaning it was solid. He whistled as I backed away. My head was throbbing and my lungs were burning at the base. I gently pressed a hand into my side to ease the pain.

“Inquisitor?” Solas asked, looking at my confused form. Emma and Julian had, once more, begun to argue about the statue and who would get it. Their voices raised as I back even farther away. Andruil’s arrow tip loomed over my head. 

“I’m uncomfortable here.” I whispered, staring up at her arrow as if I was whom it was meant for. “What’s going on?” My ears twitched as a stone cracked away from the ceiling and began to fall. I looked up as it struck the arrow, knocking the tip away from the shaft.   
I stepped out of the way and watched the rock and arrow tip smash into the smooth floor. A little sliver of gold pierced my skin, sending spine-tingling shivers up and back down my spine. I sighed, irritated, and clasped my fingers around the sliver. Pain shot through my fingers, making me gasp loudly. 

“Vale?” Solas called. I looked up at him as I ripped the gold out and the same pain went through my arm. My skin went numb, dead feeling, and my arm dropped to my side. The numbness crept up and into my shoulder and quickly spread through my chest. Breathing was already a challenge, but now it was impossible. 

“Help.” I whispered, my voice restricted. My body went numb, and I collapsed onto the floor. My eyes shut slowly, letting me gaze up as Solas’ fear spiked his stormy eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you for reading!
> 
> Secondly, if you seek to learn what happens next, you have to go read Kotamae: The Great Illusionist! 
> 
> I do this because Kota and Vale's stories are interwoven so that you can see both sides of the picture frame: the beauty and how it's held up. I wanted to do a twin-story like this for some time now. The objective is to give you two characters to fall in love with as you watch and learn about them and their journeys--which means more fun for me, the author, as well!
> 
> Do enjoy!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vale finally rids herself of a guilt she's always carried.

I sat up abruptly as blood shot from my mouth with a speed only magic could replicate. My entire body stung—the feeling becoming more familiar with each passing second—and my sides ached from breathing and coughing. I pushed my hand into my side, healing whatever felt broken in my torso, and tried to steady my breathing.

“Aurum!” My father’s voice cried, and a hand landed on my shaking shoulder. I looked down at my bloodstained hands, staring wide-eyed at the long fingers that seemed to belong to a musician. They were of darker skin tone than the girl’s which meant that… that…

I stood up, knocking away my father’s hand as I looked down over my body. I gently tapped my sides, then waist, and then ran stiff fingers over my shoulder blades. I gently ran a slow, agonizingly calloused finger across my heightened jawline. I gasped.

This wasn't the girl.

My eyes flashed around the room, recognizing my quarters—they were finally done—and then the four-poster bed in the middle of it all. A bloodstained girl lay upon those twisted sheets, her fingers stiffly clutching the white bedspread. They were loosened, despite the way the fingers curled, which meant she no longer gripped for life.   
The girl was dead again…

I was dead.  
Now alive.

I was alive.

I glared over at the man who held my father’s voice, my eyes meeting his. He had dark red hair and brilliant green eyes that made me sick as I looked at them. He was in mortal flesh, but how? Why?

“What have you done?” I shouted angrily, shoving him farther away from my. My breathing accelerated, making my pulse jump in its tempo. I felt lightheaded, and I knew I was swaying on new feet. The room felt warm. “Why couldn't you just let me die and go wherever the hell my kind go?!”

“I couldn't just let my daughter die!” He argued in a raspy voice.  
“I am not your daughter you delusional dragon!” I shouted, my voice suddenly dropping. “I am the creature who stole your daughter’s body.” I backed away, my worst and greatest fear finally realized. Did he know that I wasn't who I claimed to be—who he thought I was? I slipped down the cold stone wall and slumped on the floor, barely held up at all. My head sagged. “Why would you do this to me? Why couldn't you just let me die?” 

He sat down next to me, his gaze looking past the new eyes and striking my soul. “To me, you are my only daughter.” I looked away toward the bed out of shame.   
I was a cursed being; not meant to have a proper family, actual friends. I would take their lives one way or another. I rose slowly and walked toward the bed. My form fumbled from fatigue as I fell to my knees.

“Suledin.” My voice broke, shattering my wall fully and releasing my emotions. The room was silent as I laid my forehead onto the girl’s arm. Saying her name made her real, made her whole, made her a memory that I longed to forget… and remember at the same time. I clutched the bedspread—as she-I would have done in the final moments of the pain of living—and squeezed my eyes shut. “I am so sorry.” My voice cracked. “For everything!” Tears streamed in unchecked waterfalls down my face. “I killed you, and for that there is no way to atone.”

“You did not kill her.” My father argued.  
“I did.” I whispered, my voice stronger than I felt. “I stole her existence like one snuffs out a candle.” Easily. Without effort. 

Mortals were such fragile creatures. 

“Do not blame yourself.’ My father said angrily. “Mortals are responsible for the problems they get themselves into.”  
“WE are the ones who save them!” I cried out, anger returning to my voice and making the very walls of Skyhold quiver from its fury. “I am meant to keep them from killing themselves! My kind are the shepard to their sheep! The wolves to their pups! We are the ones who protect those who cannot protect themselves!”

“Valentine?” Kota’s voice called out, silencing my rampage with its three solid syllables. That name…. That was me. Not truly, but it was. I looked over at my friend, watching her eyes fill with disbelief. I sincerely hoped that she did not hate me for everything that had transpired.   
Now that I noticed, I could see Josephine and Leliana over by the stairwell with emotionless masks over their eyes, and Varric peeking out from behind. Dorian stood behind them, his eyes wide, and Solas… My dear, sweet Solas was leaning against the frame of the balcony doors. I shifted toward him, flinching as he seemed to shift away. Perhaps that was my imagination, but I could understand after everything that had happened. 

“What happened?” Kota asked gently, as if she might spook me.  
I shrugged. “I am a monster. But… Unlike other monsters, I do have an explanation. All I ask is that you hear me out.” I gazed around at all of them, wondering if I was imagining the horror and disbelief they hid behind careful gazes.  
“Go on.” Kota urged.

I sighed, and began the tale. “A very long time ago I was a part of an elite force of elves tasked with the protection of the people when a certain doomsday—of sorts—would arise. We were called the tempers: magically modified elvhen. Our minds were taken apart and put back together with only the necessary pieces for combat and magical aspects. Our souls were sealed with magic, so that we could die and move to a new body. We were created to invincible, and to be nothing more than vessels of destruction.” I paused, my voice suddenly weak as images and screams echoed in my mind.

“And we were.

When the veil fell, all hell broke loose. We were sent out to fight the creatures that the elvhen could no longer defend themselves against. I don't remember much of that time—only flashes, but…” She shuddered. “I can feel it in my soul. The weight of killing without conscious was too much for some of them to bear, so they took their lives. Myself included.” I ran my new hands over my shoulders, flexing my wrists—where I could still feel the cold kiss of the blade—and swallowing—where I could still feel the blood in my throat.  
“Why?” Kota asked, no pity within her voice. I thanked her for that, mentally.   
“That weight, that sorrow…” I muttered. “Sometimes we were commanded to fight other elves that worshiped enemy gods. It didn't matter: women, children, the elderly, they all died. I got tired of the constant killing, and couldn't take it anymore. When I woke up next, I was in the body of a dragonling.” She looked over at her father. “I lived with my father and temper mother until I met a young elf girl.” Her eyes slowly moved to the body on the bed. “I wanted to be mortal so that I could go back to what I had done before, but with less killing. The girl was killed so that I could take her body.”

“Mortal, but at what cost?” I asked the silent space. I laid a gentle hand on the girl’s cheek, tears clouding my eyes. “I am a dragon in everything but form. I could have waited and found another way… My friend here only had one existence and I stole it.” A pang pierced my heart like an arrow. These were the truths I kept from these people… and they would never trust me against because of it.

“You are old then?” Kota asked.  
I chuckled darkly. “Very.” I looked down over the new body. Perhaps this girl was like Suledin? Did she have a family? Friends? Someone waiting for her spirit to come home, when it never would? “This girl has longer legs and wider hips… I guess I’ll have to get used to that.”

“You claim to be a monster.” Cassandra said, interrupting my train of thought. I glanced over at the first mortal to have ever truly been nice to me, despite being my captor. She must have snuck up here during my dark reminiscing. “But no monster defends people at such costs, nor would a monster save a girl from a templar, or free a slave from her mistress.”

“Thank you.” I choked, my throat constricted. “I’m so sorry that I didn't tell you all before, but what would you have done?!” I fell to my knees and pressed my palms over my eyes. “You would have killed me! Imprisoned me perhaps? Before I became your leader, would you even have given me a chance to explain?!” My words hung silent in the air.  
“You’re not a monster to me.” Solas’s voice said. His words were so gentle, and his touch so soothing as his hands carefully pulled my hands away from my eyes. I looked into his stormy grey eyes and smiled—the curve the only genuine one I had. 

“Everyone here respects you because of what you did for us.” Cassandra stated. “Not because of what you are.”  
Solas wove his fingers in-between mine and rested his forehead against my own. I took my fingers back and wrapped my arms around his neck, throwing my body into his and burying my face into his creamy colored tunic. It was tear-soaked within seconds.

“And now I’ve killed another girl.” I whispered.  
“Actually.” My father interrupted. “This girl was on death’s door when I arrived. The healer there said there was nothing to be done for her, and that the wound was fatal. The girl herself was ready to meet the Maker, which meant her body would have done nothing but feed grass.”  
I didn't know her, and she didn't know me personally. Maybe she would be glad now, at the Maker’s side, to see the Inquisitor living on though her body?

“Charming, isn't he?” I asked toward Cassandra, watching the warrior woman’s eyes light up with humor.  
“I understand where you get your personality from.” She teased lightly. I sighed, wondering if any of my words had sunken in to them yet. They treated me no different now than they did before.

It was wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited explanation has finally arrived! Do comment and ask questions (I can finally answer them now :) ) if thou art confused. 
> 
> No, you no longer have to go read Kota's story to find out what happens. Yay, being lazy rocks, yes?


	20. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while but here you go!

I hadn't expected this in the slightest. 

I expected everyone to avoid me, to hate and despise me, and to keep a careful constructed distance between me and them. Instead of that, something miraculous had happened.  
I shifted in my boots as I pushed open the wooden door. I was here now because of what they said. Everyone that knew had acted no different, albeit that they had a better understanding of how my thought process worked so now they could accommodate. Josephine had taken out all gold clothing and issued a warning to all nobles who gave gifts, saying I was ‘deathly allergic to gold and anything made with the metal.’ Her careful tongue had stayed their bright, shining gifts and kept me safe for the time being.

Leliana drew upon my father’s knowledge before he left, learning about the ‘Hissing Wastes,’ which was apparently where I was from. I knew he was back to his old self when I saw a red tail lazily drag itself though the snow of a peak. 

Solas and Dorian now had a much better understanding of why I was so powerful, and they often called me in to research my magic. I didn't know why until Dorian accidentally set the rug in the bottom level of the rotunda on fire. They had been using my magic as a base to construct new runes in staves in order to use more of their own magic—mainly since the staves were still shit. My own staff still leaned against my desk, waiting for an owner who did not need it.

Even Cullen and I had slowly become friends over the last few days as I healed. I showed him easier ways to train his troops, and a few tricks to help with wayward soldiers.   
Kotamae, thankfully, had accepted what her freedom-giver was with little more than a few questions. She rarely talked about what I was, and treated me exactly as she did before: with respect. 

There was only one problem.

I was now different. Not in spirit, but in body. My body was taller, my hips were slightly wider, breasts were smaller, and not to mention my face was completely different along with my eye and skin color. 

While healing, if I wanted to go speak with my friends I had to do it in the dead of night when no one was up. Most of them stayed up late to wait for me, including Solas.  
The war council—along with my companions—had pondered over what to do before Kota finally gave us our answer.

“My former mistress spoke of the Black Emporium quite frequently,” She said quietly, almost as if she did not want to be heard. “There’s a mirror there that supposedly changes your face to best fit your soul.”

With those words, I was thrown onto a ship with Solas, Cole, and Cassandra and sent to this place. I ducked though the door and into the room—made up of mostly wooden boards stacked hastily against one another. In the middle of the room was a tall gnarled body in a throne, of sorts.

“Hello?” I called out warily. I walked into the wooden room—more like tinderbox—with my own steps following the pace of my quickly beating heart. A glint caught my eye in the far corner, moving my path toward a tall mirror held up by two other, similar panes of glass. 

I gazed into the largest, which was the middle mirror, and saw the new body I inhabited. She had—no—I had brilliantly shiny green eyes trimmed in brown and the same toned dark locks my friend once called her own. I was curvier now, and had lightly tanned skin instead of the pale milky white. 

Josie and Kota had told the Inquisition that when I returned, I would look like my soul spoke. 

Whatever that meant.

It sounded good and mysterious to the people, and they eagerly awaited the return of the Inquisitor who had led them thus far, despite her different appearance.   
I gently tapped the mirror and watched ripples spread through the glassy surface. My jawline and face softened into a rounder version, yet my eyes and skin tone remained the same. My hair shined with a reddish tint, and My lips were just a little thinner and pinker. 

This was me?

“Yes, that is you temper.” 

I swung around as the raspy voice echoed. I poised my hand to snap as I searched for the source of the words.  
“Relax! Honestly, your kind are so jumpy! The last time you came in here you did the exact same thing.” I peered over at the figure in the throne. He did not move, yet it sounded as if he was the owner of that voice.

“I’ve been here before?” I asked in confusion.   
“Of course you have.” He answered, the body definitely belonging to the voice—or vise versa.  
“How are you speaking?” I asked, moving my head to the side.   
“Nevermind that which I do not know. Let us talk of what I know, and you apparently do not.”  
“Alright, you have my short attention span.” I joked. “What do you know?”   
“The last time you came in here you were with others. It was not long ago, actually, and you mentioned a crypt in the Western Approach. I was curious, so I listened.”  
“Right, well… Thank you for the delusions.” I said, bowing as I walked toward the exit. I couldn't believe everything I heard from random elder creatures, now could I?

“Aurum.”  
I stopped in my tracks.  
“That is your name, isn't it? You were with Aeramen and Argentum—your appointed guards.”  
Images flashed behind my eyes, showing me identical men with silver hair who both smiled toward my vision, as if there were someone behind it. I shook my head and walked out of the room.  
“Monsters cannot fight their true nature. You can tame a wolf, but it will always hunger for the hunt.”

“I’m quite full from the hunt, thank you.” I said as I paused by the door. “This is my quest now.”  
“And what of after? Will the mighty temper succumb to her life-span, which will be never? You will live forever, Aurum, and no one can save you from the whims of time. What if the Maker should strike his fury upon your unholy soul?”

“Then I shall accept his holy fire with open arms.” I said sarcastically. “If there is such a thing.”


End file.
